how do I overcome masturbation addiction and when will I recover from ED?

[sophomore]

It's been about 35days since I stopped watching porn, and masturbating to porn fantasy.

I can say that my sexual performance has improved a bit

But I still need a handjob from my girlfriend to get it hard, once it gets hard, I can penetrate. I even got to orgasm a few days ago while having sex with my girlfriend.

There's still the problem that if I don't put it in soon enough, it dies and my girlfriend has to do it again to get it hard.

About a month ago, it was really hard to get it hard, and once it got hard, it died when it succeeded in penetrating.

The first thing I'm worried about is that I want to know when I would be able to get it hard naturally, just like people who have no sexual performance problems.

The second thing I'm worried is that I heard not only do I have to stop porn forever to allow my brain to recover, but I also have to at least temporarily stop masturbating.

This is the hardest part. I feel that I am addicted to masturbating to orgasm. I can get it hard without fantasizing about porn. I just remind myself the images of my girlfriend naked, and I get hard.

But for the past 2 weeks, I've been masturbating to orgasm once every 3 days on average.

I always try to push down the urge to masturbate, but sometimes the urge gets the better of me and I have to give in.

I know that if I want to recover ASAP, I have to abstain from masturbating for a certain period of time. But the longest streak I have managed to go without PMO was 2 weeks.

Quitting porn is nothing. It's easy as pie. I've been doing it well without breaking a sweat for the past 5 weeks. But, abstaining from masturbation for a certain period of time long enough to recover...this is quite a challenge...something that even makes me wonder if it's even possible.

I have no hobbies and interests, so I think I am short of any alternatives to turn my attention away from masturbation in times of danger.

So that's why I turned to you guys, who are more experienced in this field than I am.

I hope to hear from your experiences, and also hope to give back more than I have been given when I fully recover.

I hope I didn't sound unclear about what I am trying to say, so I'll put it clear in two questions:

Based on my current sexual performance, when will I be able to get natural erections?

How do I overcome what seems to be masturbation addiction so I can lengthen my no-PMO streak to allow my brain to fully recover?

I desperately need some good advice, because I'm going to get married to my girlfriend, but if this poses a serious threat to our relationship, my dream could be shattered into pieces.

 

[Irvin]

You should abstain from any kind of sexual activity. At least for a while. Thats my opinion, but there are cases where sex actually helped the process. Try to minimize the amount of times you masturbate. I also think that my ED was due to overmasturbation, not porn. I havent done both in 32 days and natural erections do start to come back once in a while. (Also I couldnt stay hard without a hj and never had Morning Wood when masturbated. The first week I stopped, MW came back, now its gone again, progress is not linear. Abstaining should help.)
Hope this helps.

 

[fugu]

I agree with the per on who posted above. I think that taking a break from all sexual activity in the beginning of the reboot is really helpful in making a faster recovery. Remember that orgasms are extremely powerful neurological events, and, if we haven't spent enough time abstaining from them, they might activate some of the addictive pathways in our brain even if we aren't consciously thinking about porn or anything like that. Resting the brain for a period of time is really integral in breaking the addiction and creating normal sexuality.

 

[narfolee]

PMO means using porn to masturbate to orgasm - so you don't have problems with PMO, you have problems with MO. And I have the same issue. I only see my girlfriend on the weekends, and that means trying to go Mon-Fri without jerking off has been really hard. I've used sexts and non-porn images on a couple different occasions to get hard, then finish myself off with thoughts. Not good.

But here is my suggestion:

1. Don't listen to the guys who say stop orgasm all together. The reason I didn't do this is because it wasn't an option for me. I wasn't about to turn my girl down from sex.

2. Cut the masturbation. Don't reward yourself after you've waited a certain amount of time - thats counter productive.

Think about this... why do you think it takes her hand to get you hard again? Because thats what YOU use when you MO. And we all know, we know, exactly what feels best for us. If your brain releases dopamine and gets turned on with hand-on-dick stimulation, you need to cut out the hands so that penetration feels good again!

Come clean with your girl. Show her a video. Talk about the SCIENCE behind it and say that your worried about what porn has done in our society. Tell her the reason you think you go soft is not because she is not doing it right - its because YOU have done it WRONG. You've used artificial imagery and your own hand to provide you with the pinnacle of stimulation. Its better than sex to your brain. More efficient. And your body reacts to that.

Challenge for you. I'll check up on you every day. Its MONDAY night now. Go until THE NEXT TIME YOU HAVE SEX without masturbating. I won't say don't touch your cock.. cause we all need to scratch and piss... but don't touch it when you have a boner.

When will you see your girl again? When will you be having sex again? I guarantee you if you go a week without touching your cock, then she grabs it and puts it in her mouth, or inside her - Its gonna feel amazing. Re-wire your brain so HER touch is the BEST touch. Perhaps that means making it the ONLY touch. Your talking marriage here - so this is serious.

Everyone deserves a good sex life man. Take whats yours. Don't touch. I'll be back tomorrow if you reply.

 

[Rudy]

Big rule: just don't touch your dick. If I just make sure I don't touch it ever except for taking a piss, I won't mess with it, it won't get hard, I won't get uncontrollably horny, and I won't go jerk off. For me I'm going full no porn, no fapping. The next person who will touch my dick (other than me pissing) will be a girl who is about to put it inside her.

 

[sophomore]

3/ thanks man. I only meet my girlfriend once a week, on one of the weekends. I'll try not to touch my thing except when I'm going to the bathroom. It does make sense that my brain is used to my hand touching it to get hard. I think the next time I meet my girlfriend would be about 10 days later, so I'll try to cut MO until then, when I can have sex with her.

Again, thanks for the advice.

 

[Rudy]

Pants up! Don't touch!

 

[narfolee]

Tuesday night.