No danger or panic, but need a little help?

[Shodan]

So today is day 118 no PMO for me. It’s very familiar at this stage because I’ve been here before, however I haven’t been ‘here’. What I mean is, my longest streak of 721 days i wasn’t playing around or messing with PMO at all, but I was lax in certain areas i.e looking at women on the street, still floating around social media for eye Candy. I’ve since cut out social media altogether. Sometimes at work im very bored and I go on SM for five minutes and I’m reminded why I came off it in the first place - it’s garbage. I keep my eyes to myself when I walk up the street, being a taller man of 6’6 I tend to look ‘up’ rather than down at the floor. I gave up smoking cannabis and tobacco, something I’d done since I was a late-teenager, I train at the gym every morning, 7 days a week. I’m studying the Japanese martial art of Ninjutsu which I’ve developed a passion for, so much so that I’ll be furthering my studies and when I travel to Japan in November. My life now doesn’t resemble the lifestyle of a PMO addict and for that I’m truly grateful. None of this had I done at all even on my longest streak. I’m coming into the best shape and fitness level of my entire adult life.

The thing for me is, I still haven’t experienced the rawness of the dreaded flatline, certainly not for a long period. I’ve had days where I’ve felt absolutely awful, no motive to get started at work, to talk to people, or even look at my phone. I’ve gone in and out I would say but no long continuous period.

Some days, I struggle with arousal. There is a woman I have had sexual relations with in the recent past that I talk to quite often, and even though we absolutely are not sexting or talking about sexual behaviour I still swell down there. Even the thought of her gets me excitedly aroused. Perhaps I’m overthinking it, the idea that I ‘struggle’ to not do something that I once struggled to do at all makes me laugh to myself but on a serious note, (this is an open question) am I on the right track?

 

[Blondie]

Congrats @Shodan on 118 days, glad to see you climbed out of that last relapse. I know how you feel about losing a long streak, I too was at 700+ days, it is what it is. I had been going through quite an emotional period in my life working through trauma from my childhood, and because of that, I had been relying on drinking to relax myself over the preceding months before my relapse. Needless to say, it happened one night without me even being aware it was about to happen, and came out of nowhere on one of the two nights my Lady is out of town for the year.

Some days, I struggle with arousal. There is a woman I have had sexual relations with in the recent past that I talk to quite often, and even though we absolutely are not sexting or talking about sexual behaviour I still swell down there. Even the thought of her gets me excitedly aroused. Perhaps I’m overthinking it, the idea that I ‘struggle’ to not do something that I once struggled to do at all makes me laugh to myself but on a serious note, (this is an open question) am I on the right track?

I think this is pretty normal and I wouldn't get in your head about it. Obviously, if you're not seeing her anymore, reflecting on this won't be good for you since it will go nowhere, however, the fact that it happens is quite normal and seeing that she's a REAL person and not some nonsense on the internet, makes it's understandable, just don't let it get you trapped back into porn.

Congrats on all the changes you've made to your life. I really believe that that is the key in all of this. Not looking at porn is only half the answer, making a meaningful life is where things really start to blossom.

Best

 

[Shodan]

Firstly let me start by saying a reset/relapse in my opinion is (depending on how one responds to it) a simple or hard lesson that mentally we had yet to learn. Falling down after 720+ days almost broke my heart, it hurt a lot but I wasn’t broken. I knew I could right the wrong as I’m sure you no doubt have done. You’ve made the jump and now you’re back on the gravy train, it’s heading in the right direction! Keep it moving brother, you got this and you know you have!! A big part of me turning it around after my relapse was me actually conceiving the belief I could finish this marathon as opposed to walking the path without a clear goal in mind. First we defeat the impulse to PMO then we set our minds to course ‘in XYZ time I want to achieve this and so’ etc etc. You’re a huge reason alot of us are crushing this thing, you inspire more people than you may realise. I’ve read your posts on these forums and people respect you ALOT!!

I respect your opinion which I believe is closer to fact @Blondie!! As I said in my post I tend to laugh at it somewhat because as I said I’m struggling not to get an erection as opposed to the zombie I used to be struggling to actually conceive one - go figure! (Laughing out loud as I say that). These days I am very careful not to ponder on what isn’t as opposed to what is, also respect you for suggesting not to dwell on someone that isn’t in my life anymore. I actually saw this girl today on my break from work and she left lipstick all over my face hahahaha but again, I’m vigilant not do ponder on it. I’m making a conscious effort not to even think about her, I’d rather see her in front of me than in my mind. I’ve got this thing where I tell myself ‘if it’s not in the real world I don’t want to know’. As you said, that trail of thought can lead to some undesirable places. Very undesirable!! Thanks again and much respect to you for your thoughts on what I asked, it’s really out things into perspective.

All the best and Godspeed brother @Blondie

 

[Androg]

Firstly let me start by saying a reset/relapse in my opinion is (depending on how one responds to it) a simple or hard lesson that mentally we had yet to learn. Falling down after 720+ days almost broke my heart, it hurt a lot but I wasn’t broken. I knew I could right the wrong as I’m sure you no doubt have done. You’ve made the jump and now you’re back on the gravy train, it’s heading in the right direction! Keep it moving brother, you got this and you know you have!! A big part of me turning it around after my relapse was me actually conceiving the belief I could finish this marathon as opposed to walking the path without a clear goal in mind. First we defeat the impulse to PMO then we set our minds to course ‘in XYZ time I want to achieve this and so’ etc etc. You’re a huge reason alot of us are crushing this thing, you inspire more people than you may realise. I’ve read your posts on these forums and people respect you ALOT!!

I respect your opinion which I believe is closer to fact @Blondie!! As I said in my post I tend to laugh at it somewhat because as I said I’m struggling not to get an erection as opposed to the zombie I used to be struggling to actually conceive one - go figure! (Laughing out loud as I say that). These days I am very careful not to ponder on what isn’t as opposed to what is, also respect you for suggesting not to dwell on someone that isn’t in my life anymore. I actually saw this girl today on my break from work and she left lipstick all over my face hahahaha but again, I’m vigilant not do ponder on it. I’m making a conscious effort not to even think about her, I’d rather see her in front of me than in my mind. I’ve got this thing where I tell myself ‘if it’s not in the real world I don’t want to know’. As you said, that trail of thought can lead to some undesirable places. Very undesirable!! Thanks again and much respect to you for your thoughts on what I asked, it’s really out things into perspective.

All the best and Godspeed brother @Blondie

It sounds like you’re doing great. Thanks for sharing your healthy progress.

 

[Shodan]

It sounds like you’re doing great. Thanks for sharing your healthy progress.

I’m doing well but staying vigilant brother. That P is a sneaky little fucker and can creep up on you and knock you for six! I tell myself that even though I spent along time wasting my energy, MY LIFE, on it, it is but a small part of who I used to be on the grand scale of things. I appreciate the encouragement @Androg

 

[Escapeandnevercomeback]

I’m doing well but staying vigilant brother. That P is a sneaky little fucker and can creep up on you and knock you for six! I tell myself that even though I spent along time wasting my energy, MY LIFE, on it, it is but a small part of who I used to be on the grand scale of things. I appreciate the encouragement @Androg

That's absolutely right. Porn is seductive, it's stimulating, it promises pleasure and comfort but it's a TRAP! Run away from it immediately! The suffering from quitting porn is a small part in the grand plan of the rest of the years left from your life. It's (maybe) months vs years! Sometimes I tend to forget this: Suffer for a few months, maybe less maybe more, whatever, but save the years to come.