I remember the first time I had an orgasm. My first thought was- holy shit I can do this to porn- I ran upstairs and watched a lesbian orgy video I had carefully downloaded and hidden on my parents computer. I O'd twice more (the first in seconds). At the time I was probably 10 or so, and I have been watching porn on the regular my whole life. I now realize that I have had some kind of ED my entire life. Not that I haven't had plenty of sex but that I have had issues, at some point, with every sexual partner I have had. To be honest it never really bothered me that much. I would tell myself that I was drunk, or nervous, or that "it just didn't happen". These arguments pacified me because A) There were plenty of times that I had good sex B) There was nothing physically wrong with me, I had a healthy sexual appetite and was able to get hard and jack off (seemingly) whenever I wanted to.
I used to have a pretty healthy split between porn and my imagination but sometime in High school I seemed to masturbate exclusively to porn. Almost every day, sometimes more.
I am now 25 and have been with my girlfriend for about 4 years. I never thought that we had an unusual sex-life. We didn't have sex, perhaps, as frequently as she would have liked (we did it probably about once a week, sometimes more) but I chalked this up to me just preferring porn on occasion. Slowly this began to change. Instances of ED became more frequent and I first noticed MAJOR ED problems after a few days of smoking weed and watching porn (jacking off to O). I decided to quit this practice (still jacking to porn almost everyday, more frequently twice a day. Sex became more difficult. I often had to imagine other scenarios and women as I had sex(which left me feeling guilty) also would often get to a point-during- when I would fall back to about 65% and only from kissing and very gentle petting could I work my way back up to penetration and orgasm- this started happening almost EVERYTIME we had sex.
After realizing that I was jacking off twice a day-out of sheer boredom- because it was there- I decided to take a break thinking I could fix this by cutting back on porn.
When I was younger probably 12 or 13 I would challenge myself (kind of a fun battle of the will) to see how long I could go without orgasm. On the tenth day I woke up and ran to the toilet blowing myself everywhere. Something about the desperation made me believe that was my cap and I hadn't tried since.
I was expecting a similar result this time around and after 3 days of no porn or masturbating I was excited for some intense sex. Nothing happened. Less than nothing. I couldn't even manage a chub while getting a bj. At this point I started freaking out, which led me here. I am on Day 4 and have no libido for the first time in my life. The relief I felt knowing others have "flatlined" made me feel WAY better but it is still scary for me; namely because every instance of this phenomenon seems completely individual... Anyways I am going to try and go for 90 days. I thought tackling this would be difficult because of the desire but having none is worse! And yet I feel more like myself than before (anyone else experience a surreal sensation like this?)
Anyways, just sharing my story... I hope I get it back soon!
I used to have a pretty healthy split between porn and my imagination but sometime in High school I seemed to masturbate exclusively to porn. Almost every day, sometimes more.
I am now 25 and have been with my girlfriend for about 4 years. I never thought that we had an unusual sex-life. We didn't have sex, perhaps, as frequently as she would have liked (we did it probably about once a week, sometimes more) but I chalked this up to me just preferring porn on occasion. Slowly this began to change. Instances of ED became more frequent and I first noticed MAJOR ED problems after a few days of smoking weed and watching porn (jacking off to O). I decided to quit this practice (still jacking to porn almost everyday, more frequently twice a day. Sex became more difficult. I often had to imagine other scenarios and women as I had sex(which left me feeling guilty) also would often get to a point-during- when I would fall back to about 65% and only from kissing and very gentle petting could I work my way back up to penetration and orgasm- this started happening almost EVERYTIME we had sex.
After realizing that I was jacking off twice a day-out of sheer boredom- because it was there- I decided to take a break thinking I could fix this by cutting back on porn.
When I was younger probably 12 or 13 I would challenge myself (kind of a fun battle of the will) to see how long I could go without orgasm. On the tenth day I woke up and ran to the toilet blowing myself everywhere. Something about the desperation made me believe that was my cap and I hadn't tried since.
I was expecting a similar result this time around and after 3 days of no porn or masturbating I was excited for some intense sex. Nothing happened. Less than nothing. I couldn't even manage a chub while getting a bj. At this point I started freaking out, which led me here. I am on Day 4 and have no libido for the first time in my life. The relief I felt knowing others have "flatlined" made me feel WAY better but it is still scary for me; namely because every instance of this phenomenon seems completely individual... Anyways I am going to try and go for 90 days. I thought tackling this would be difficult because of the desire but having none is worse! And yet I feel more like myself than before (anyone else experience a surreal sensation like this?)
Anyways, just sharing my story... I hope I get it back soon!