Hello all, I have been attending massage parlors for about 3 years now and when I decided to quit PMO I decided I would stop going to massage parlors as well. A few days ago I couldn't hold the urge back any longer so I went to one and now I feel like I relapsed. I don't want to go to them because I know it is basically prostitution but would this be considered a relapse?
Is it ok to go to Massage Parlors?
- Thread starter cc19
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Poker
Active Member
As it was a real person,..... I would say no, not a relapse.
I get what's happening. In 2005 I started to dab into seeing escorts. However..... that scene is not where I wanted my life to be, so I made some decisions, and walking away from that lifestyle is what I decided.
I'm not here to judge, or give advice in that sense (cause I've been there). Only you can decide what is right for you.
Cheers,
p.
I get what's happening. In 2005 I started to dab into seeing escorts. However..... that scene is not where I wanted my life to be, so I made some decisions, and walking away from that lifestyle is what I decided.
I'm not here to judge, or give advice in that sense (cause I've been there). Only you can decide what is right for you.
Cheers,
p.
U
Username
Guest
Poker said:
I'd say yes spontaneously, but of course that completely depends on your personal goal. If you're going for rewiring to intimate relationships instead of pixels on a screen or sex for money, abstain from going to these places. Save your money and spend it on inviting a nice girl to dinner.
I have thought about it and I have decided that I am going to consider it a relapse because it is more a fantasy than the real thing and it does not happen naturally. If you are using it to fill in the voids of no PMO than yes it is most definitely a relapse and will not help to teach your what real sex is and you may end up getting addicted to them which will leave you in the same situation you were in before but just a new habit.
Rudy -> it makes sense, I'm afraid. Sex with a prostitute is just an entirely different story. It goes your way. You make the call. You make the decisions. You decide what will happen, when and how. You are "the master of the universe" in that situation.
Sex with a women who does it with you voluntarily is different. It requires communication, genuine interest and passion on both sides. Things will not happen as you want, but as the both of you want.
Sex with a prostitute is spiking dopamine as in sexually influenced dopamine addiction a.k.a. sex addiction. Here we go again with the discussion as to whether PMO addiction is different from sex addiction. It's not. It's the same mechanism, only different acting out.
But don't be let down, bro. You're on the good path - you got here by your own will, so you're taking care of yourself and your fighting. Keep up the good job!
cc19 -> Username posted some very useful advice, in my view. Keep up the good job, you're treating this thing seriously, which is obvious to me.
Sex with a women who does it with you voluntarily is different. It requires communication, genuine interest and passion on both sides. Things will not happen as you want, but as the both of you want.
Sex with a prostitute is spiking dopamine as in sexually influenced dopamine addiction a.k.a. sex addiction. Here we go again with the discussion as to whether PMO addiction is different from sex addiction. It's not. It's the same mechanism, only different acting out.
But don't be let down, bro. You're on the good path - you got here by your own will, so you're taking care of yourself and your fighting. Keep up the good job!
cc19 -> Username posted some very useful advice, in my view. Keep up the good job, you're treating this thing seriously, which is obvious to me.
I'm no expert but I do love science, logical thinking and psychology. So here's what I think:
Porn addiction is a problem because the brain was rewired to seek out the rush from porn rather than the rush from intimacy with a real person-a mate* (which are the pathways you are likely seeking to strengthen). Even though you are getting a rush from a real person at massage parlors, it is not the same as a rush from a person in the same sort of way your brain would associate with a mate: it uses a different neurological pathway right? This may not be a relapse for the simple fact that a relapse would mean doing something that reinforces the pathways you are trying to weaken. But this doesn't mean that it helps to reinforce the pathways you want to strengthen. This could possibly be causing guilt, and that guilt causes feelings of relapse. Or, you could have your brain wired to feel the same way about massage parlors as you do about porn and it actually is reinforcing the pathways that you want to weaken.
I'm not saying any of this is what's going on or even that it's accurate. It's just my thought on the matter, and I wanted to share it with you so that you could think about it.
Porn addiction is a problem because the brain was rewired to seek out the rush from porn rather than the rush from intimacy with a real person-a mate* (which are the pathways you are likely seeking to strengthen). Even though you are getting a rush from a real person at massage parlors, it is not the same as a rush from a person in the same sort of way your brain would associate with a mate: it uses a different neurological pathway right? This may not be a relapse for the simple fact that a relapse would mean doing something that reinforces the pathways you are trying to weaken. But this doesn't mean that it helps to reinforce the pathways you want to strengthen. This could possibly be causing guilt, and that guilt causes feelings of relapse. Or, you could have your brain wired to feel the same way about massage parlors as you do about porn and it actually is reinforcing the pathways that you want to weaken.
I'm not saying any of this is what's going on or even that it's accurate. It's just my thought on the matter, and I wanted to share it with you so that you could think about it.
Aussie_Rebooter
Member
In my case going to pro's while trying to reboot doesn't work.
I leave feeling dirty,unsatisfied and like a loser for having just paid for sex.
Because i orgasm,i get thrown straight back into intense porn cravings for the next few days and i end up relapsing.
Iv'e had pro's ask me "why don't you have a GF/Wife,why do you pay for it?" -
My opinion is that it's best to avoid all sexual stimulation for at least a decent period of time.Unless you already have a partner,then i guess you should ask some successful guys who have partners how they went about sex.
Iv'e wasted thousands on pro's and massage parlours over the last decade,i could have a f***ing brand new benz in my garage if i saved all the money i'd wasted on whores,it just isn't worth it.It feeds lust and your eternal search for a quick fix.
I leave feeling dirty,unsatisfied and like a loser for having just paid for sex.
Because i orgasm,i get thrown straight back into intense porn cravings for the next few days and i end up relapsing.
Iv'e had pro's ask me "why don't you have a GF/Wife,why do you pay for it?" -
My opinion is that it's best to avoid all sexual stimulation for at least a decent period of time.Unless you already have a partner,then i guess you should ask some successful guys who have partners how they went about sex.
Iv'e wasted thousands on pro's and massage parlours over the last decade,i could have a f***ing brand new benz in my garage if i saved all the money i'd wasted on whores,it just isn't worth it.It feeds lust and your eternal search for a quick fix.
Thanks everyone all your post's have been very useful to me I now believe that going to Pro's or MP's is probably worse than being addicted to PMO but just in a different way. When you are addicted to Pro's or MP's the only thing that is holding you back from using them every day is the simple fact that its expensive. You would be using it just as much as PMO if you could afford it. PMO is basically just a gateway to the ultimate horrible addiction of Pro's which in my opinion now that I have thought it through is probably worse than heroin addiction because the human brain is pre-wired for sexual stimulation and that is the most desirable pleasure human's crave. Sexual stimulation should only be manifested during real life intimate contact with another human being. The relationship must also be mutual and must take some effort to attain because if the human mind is being pleasured without any work that is what creates the horrible pleasure seeking pathways in our brains and causes us to crave only pleasurable experiences without the need to work for it.
Sounds like you've made a pretty big decision here to also cut paid orgasms out as well. Congratulations! I sincerely hope that you are able to meet your goals, and are able to overcome the hurdles you may face along the way. Even though there are so many resources out there that make quitting sound so easy, quitting any addiction never really is. I hope you are able to find good distractions and people in your life that will support you.