Could this be something else?

[bumblerino]

So in a nutshell, I started my reboot a few months ago with no relapses in to porn but have MO'd (without death grip) about once a month.

Fast forward to today, I attempted to have sex. The foreplay was fine, however I was barely semi hard. Nonetheless I managed to penetrate but lasted all of one minute - probably a bit less than that - before climaxing.

So my issue around erectile dysfunction doesn't seem to have improved and now I last even less time than I used to. So I seem to be going in the wrong direction.

Don't get me wrong - I don't miss porn and totally see why it's mentally unhealthy. And I was certainly not expecting miracles out of the reboot, but no progress is demoralising. In fact I would even say movement in the wrong direction...

The times I MO'd I felt hard and I do get morning wood almost every day (I had none before reboot). Has anyone gone through this? Am I just "flatlining"? Perhaps my PIED is more severe than I had imagined? What does all this mean?

 

[Beachy]

Hi Bumblerino

My experience rebooting is similar to yours so it's nice to know I'm not alone in this. I gave up porn 11 months ago but continued to have sex with the assistance of pills and MO occasionally but not often as my PIED was so bad I couldn't get an erection when masturbating. That is now OK but I have a lot of trouble getting hard with partner. I had sex 3 days ago with semi hard dick and came in about 2 minutes, which is really weird for me. I've read that the Prem E is pretty normal when starting back. I'm also getting morning wood now...it's quite comforting to wake up with your friend at attention isn't it!

I think we're both just not there yet. It takes time and we just need to be patient, which I'm not particularly good at. ED is f'ed up but from what you wrote you've improved with morning wood so you're obviously on the right path. Keep it going friend and you'll get there. Good luck.

 

[bumblerino]

Thanks Peachy, I think you're right and we do seem to have the same symptoms. When I started my reboot I too couldn't even get myself hard with masturbation - that seems to have changed now.

What makes my episode yesterday more confusing is a couple of hours after the brief sex I got hard and remained that way for 10+ minutes while I MO'd (I know I shouldn't have done this but I needed to test it for my piece of mind).

Your semi experience matches mine exactly, is it something that will resolve itself? I can't understand why it's happening as I seem to be reasonably ok when M-ing, although I have to say when I do M these days it is always soft and slow - could be why i lasted longer. But I can't explain why I was much harder just 2 hours later when I was on my own and penis seemed to return to normal functionality.

I will keep this going, but for now it doesn't seem like I've made progress when in the company of a lady (and possibly worse). It's not like I felt anxious at the time, it just wasn't happening.

 

[Beachy]

I just think you're getting there but still have a little to go. All these inconsistencies I have also experienced which is why I'm trying to eliminate orgasm for a while. I gave up porn ages ago but kept having O with partner. It wasn't good enough and ED still persisted.

The improvements for me since I gave up porn are mostly erect penis during masturbation and occasional semi during sex (without pills) with consistent morning wood. Great progress but just not good enough. That's why I'm doing my best to go hard mode to press the fast forward button on progress. I've got to keep faith as I, like a lot of guys here, want a fulfilling sexual relationship. Not sure if this helps.

 

[qrayzHD]

I know of a few people who have gone a long time w/o P but continued to MO every so often and have had very slow progress. I personally did not believe that MO was a big deal at all but on day 45 i MOd and immediately noticed the difference, more brainfog, more irritable, depressed. I think MO is okay once you feel rewired but during the reboot it should be completely avoided, IMO.

 

[bumblerino]

It sounds like we are at similar stages qrayz. Unfortunately, I tested again last night with a lady. And once again I climaxed within a minute and it was perhaps 50% erect.

I think I'm passing through a rock bottom phase - and I hope it's a phase. My natural motivation now is to totally abstain for a long time - total celibacy, I can't see any other route. It's a shame it's a bit late for me as I'm 36 which means my chances now of having a family are slim to none. Assuming I even recover, I'll be approaching 40. It feels like I've not healed at all at the moment.

My mindset seems to have shifted in the last couple of days. If you injure your leg, your body naturally tells you to stop using it for a while. And I think my brain is doing the same here, it's pointing me towards shutting down anything sexual while repairs are carried out in the brain. It's very difficult to know for sure, because there is no physical injury. But if this PIED is really what I have, the theory says my brain has physically changed and needs to transform itself back. The thing is I very rarely think of the porn I used to watch and I don't miss it.

The general plan is obviously continue to avoid P - already finished with that part months ago. But also stop all M and O indefinitely. Just work, exercise and go for a few hobbies. The way I see it, if I devote my time to other things at least I'm not wasting it worrying about my penis. Yes it feels like a part of my manhood and identity has disappeared and it may never come back, but it doesn't necessarily have to define me. Being alive and otherwise healthy is something to be happy about. Perhaps I'm just done mourning the loss of part of me?

The improvements for me since I gave up porn are mostly erect penis during masturbation and occasional semi during sex (without pills) with consistent morning wood. Great progress but just not good enough. That's why I'm doing my best to go hard mode to press the fast forward button on progress. I've got to keep faith as I, like a lot of guys here, want a fulfilling sexual relationship. Not sure if this helps.