I have struggled with drug addiction and alcohol addiction sense I was around 12, I am 28 now. I never really looked at porn as being an addiction because it was not affecting my life in negative ways but now it clearly is and has been affecting me negatively for the last 4-5 years. I am prescribed Adderall which is an stimulant used to treat people with attention problems, its basically speed in a nut shell. But anyways for the last 4-5 years I have been secretly struggling with this addiction where I binge out on porn and Adderall and watch hardcore porn for close to 24 hours straight with only ejaculating at the end when I am literally exhausted. I have had to call into work and miss class so many times I cant count due to this, I dont do it everyday, obviously, but once every few weeks or once a month. However its becoming more and more frequent. Its affecting my life negatively in the sense that I miss work and class but I also am hiding it from my girlfriend and I tend to have blowout fights with her(subconsciously?) to make her leave for a day or 2 so that I can binge on these. I love her dearly and am terrified to tell her that I am doing this, she knows I used to binge on it but she doesnt think I do it anymore. I just REALLY want to put this addiction behind me forever, I know I could have a heartattack or stroke from the amount of Adderall I take on these porn binges but something in me just cant stop. I just really need some help and direction. Can someone please tell me what I need to do?
thanks
CBB
thanks
CBB