Hopefully this time is for good

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EternalStruggle

New Member
Hello guys, new to the forum, i hope this unique experience is going to help me for the better.

I'm 21 years old, I've been trying to stop masturbating and porn since i was 14 years old. Back then I was suicidal about it, either i will be clean or will keep myself from being happy, i once try to take my life because of it. I had other psychological issues too (as you can tell) like major ocd, anxiety, depression etc,. I've gotten better over the years but still have tendencies of ocd, which is what i believe that makes my pom even stronger. A week ago i decided to really stop, i got really motivated and last 3 days, got back on it to fight it, and last 3 days again, but after that its been a decline, just hours in between, or a day, haven't gone 2 days even since then. And just now it just hit me and its making me depress and wanting to change even harder again. It all started since i got this new job, it caused me so much anxiety that when i got home i just didn't care and did it.

My life right now is pretty empty. Go to college for two classes a week, got no social life and just recently got a job (that looks like it might not last). So before the job, i had all this time in my hand and was not leaving the house. I still have a lot of time in my hands and with semester ending im going to have even more.
I'm thinking of right now that the only choice i have is to just keeping myself occupied and busy no matter what. Either I go for long walks or go to the library and read books or what ever. (anything else you guys recommend?) The problem is my thoughts that go on for ever and the amount of time i got on my hands. Also the motivation that just disappears after a couple of days, there no other joy in my life is what im trying to say i guess so when im going against this addiction i have nothing to hold on or support.
But still this addiction makes me even more miserable so i'm still going to try to stop it. Or at the very least reduce it significantly and get porn out of it
 
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Fresh

Member
You sound quite like me.
It is very important keeping away from the computer during this challenge, I find that I continue to lure myself to start watching again. However, I also find that when I stay at my university until late hours and come back home and go right to bed. The day passes quickly with no signs of PMO.

You go to college, does your school have a gym you can go to? That's a great way to stay away from the computer while making great improvements to your health. You could also join a sport, such as kickboxing or whatever else you're into. There's a whole world out there for you to explore and figure out new things you love. Also, being out of your house is the best way to meet people.
 
Berens

Berens

Active Member
The reason because of which you havent stopped successfully pmo since 14 years old because there were some factors that you couldnt get, some information that you couldnt know. Dont be hard on yourself because of it. There is a rational explanation for this, this is not your fault, knowing that you were trying and you keep trying to stop. In my opinion there is missing the most important thing in your life. This thing is a goal. You have a goal of stop PMO, yes thats right, but it is not enough. I am talking about a goal that you could sacrifice all your free time to reach it. You dont like your job because it is not getting you closer to your goal, you loose a motivation fast because you dont have a goal to pursuit. In this moment the question is not "what can i do to not pmo" but "what can i do to be happy?" When you will find a question for the second one, quitting an addiction will be about resisting natural urges and feeling discomfort of breaking a habit. I can personally relate to what you are talking, i am trying to quit since 18 years old i think, or even earlier, i dont remember well, i remeber i had a brain fog. I will be 21 years old soon. I am trying to get any contact with girls, to get a girlfriend. My anxiety relationed with this topic is even bigger than PMO. I have read so many books about seducting girls, overcoming fears etc that i should be an expert on this now, but
 
Berens

Berens

Active Member
I dont even have any contact with any girl :-[. When you decided to stop PMO you take a responsability for your life. You can find a reason because of you still PMO. Maybe its because you dont have a freedom you would like to have, maybe you dont want to be in your present circumstances... Right now you are at a winning position because you keep fighting to stop PMO and be free, what lefts is find missingpuzzle pieces that dont let yourself stop.
 
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EternalStruggle

New Member
Fresh said:
You sound quite like me.
It is very important keeping away from the computer during this challenge, I find that I continue to lure myself to start watching again. However, I also find that when I stay at my university until late hours and come back home and go right to bed. The day passes quickly with no signs of PMO.

You go to college, does your school have a gym you can go to? That's a great way to stay away from the computer while making great improvements to your health. You could also join a sport, such as kickboxing or whatever else you're into. There's a whole world out there for you to explore and figure out new things you love. Also, being out of your house is the best way to meet people.
Click to expand...

ironically my classes just ended so the gym is probably going to be a problem, now joining a gym or joining some thing like kickboxing it's something I always wanted to do but lack the money. Now that i got a job (at least for now) is defintely something I will do.
 
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EternalStruggle

New Member
Berens said:
I dont even have any contact with any girl :-[. When you decided to stop PMO you take a responsability for your life. You can find a reason because of you still PMO. Maybe its because you dont have a freedom you would like to have, maybe you dont want to be in your present circumstances... Right now you are at a winning position because you keep fighting to stop PMO and be free, what lefts is find missingpuzzle pieces that dont let yourself stop.
Click to expand...

wow you're right I think it will make a world of difference if I had something to be happy about in my life but PMO is just one of many other issues that I have in my life so when I don't find anything happy I tell myself why am I even stopping myself from PMO? And dont care. so you are right and now that I think about it makes it even more hopeless. But still will fight it
 
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