A
Azagwodz
Guest
My name is Andrew, and I am a porn addict like so many others on this site.
My story is very similar to others who struggle with this issue. For me I was in 7th grade when I first masterbated. I had not really been exposed to world of sex to much at that point, other than what I had learned at school. At it started out with strait up fantasy. After about a month of starting to masterbate on a regular basis, my family got internet (this was in the mid 90's when dial up Internet was coming around). My dad worked on computers and we had a lot, so my dad installed a computer in my room. This is when my addiction took full force. My parents said they would check my history, so I quickly learned how to erase it. It didn't really matter either way since my parents never checked anyways. I would spend so many days coming home and heading strait for my room and getting on the computer.
I never realized that I had a problem for the longest time. Maybe I was na?ve, maybe I just didn't want to addmit it. It was not until I went on a mission trip with my church to Hondouras. It took me to go to a 3rd world nation, to realize my own problems. So many girls who were barley 15 were pregnant, I remeber asking more about it and what I found out broke my heart. Many of the guys I talked to down there said that many of the girls were raped because porn down there was such a huge issue and it was not enough. Many guys down there used it so frequently that if they didn't have access to porn they would abuse girls till they gave in and had sex. Porn and sex was so ingrained in their culture and it broke my heart
For me this scared the crap out of me. Over the years of viewing porn my thoughts have changed and it scares me. What excites me now is so much worse, and I now ideas are coming into my head that I want to act upon so badly, but I know I can't.
I know that I need to change so many things in my life, and it needs to start here. Even though I lost myself again along the way. I am a full 24 hours into rebooting my brain. It's going to suck, but my life can't get much worse so I'm going through hell in hopes of making it out alive.
I don't know if anyone will read this but if you did, thanks for taking the time to hear only a small sliver of my story.
My story is very similar to others who struggle with this issue. For me I was in 7th grade when I first masterbated. I had not really been exposed to world of sex to much at that point, other than what I had learned at school. At it started out with strait up fantasy. After about a month of starting to masterbate on a regular basis, my family got internet (this was in the mid 90's when dial up Internet was coming around). My dad worked on computers and we had a lot, so my dad installed a computer in my room. This is when my addiction took full force. My parents said they would check my history, so I quickly learned how to erase it. It didn't really matter either way since my parents never checked anyways. I would spend so many days coming home and heading strait for my room and getting on the computer.
I never realized that I had a problem for the longest time. Maybe I was na?ve, maybe I just didn't want to addmit it. It was not until I went on a mission trip with my church to Hondouras. It took me to go to a 3rd world nation, to realize my own problems. So many girls who were barley 15 were pregnant, I remeber asking more about it and what I found out broke my heart. Many of the guys I talked to down there said that many of the girls were raped because porn down there was such a huge issue and it was not enough. Many guys down there used it so frequently that if they didn't have access to porn they would abuse girls till they gave in and had sex. Porn and sex was so ingrained in their culture and it broke my heart
For me this scared the crap out of me. Over the years of viewing porn my thoughts have changed and it scares me. What excites me now is so much worse, and I now ideas are coming into my head that I want to act upon so badly, but I know I can't.
I know that I need to change so many things in my life, and it needs to start here. Even though I lost myself again along the way. I am a full 24 hours into rebooting my brain. It's going to suck, but my life can't get much worse so I'm going through hell in hopes of making it out alive.
I don't know if anyone will read this but if you did, thanks for taking the time to hear only a small sliver of my story.