Taking steps backwards?

[Cerebralhunt]

I have been completely porn free for about 4-6 weeks and everything was going immensely better for my ed I had been having really good erections and occasional spontaneous ones.....but as of the past 3-4 days it's like it hasn't been working like it was. I have a girlfriend I haven't told about this and we have been having sex but as I stated it's like I have just been taking steps back? Is progress not a linear line? Or are good days followed by bad? What did I do wrong

 

[Newman93]

Hey Cerebralhunt,

I'm slightly newer to this than you (3-4 weeks) but I have felt ups and downs as well. Don't despair! It sounds like you are well on the way to curing yourself and it's natural to want to rush it but just relax.

I know it's daunting to speak to a girl about this kind of stuff, but maybe it would be a good idea to share this with her. It could well bring you closer together, and I'm sure she would appreciate your trust and honesty. In return she might be very supportive and help you on your journey (perhaps share this site with her).

You have done nothing wrong so don't beat yourself up, in this case having a positive attitude may well help your cause. Good days aren't always followed by bad, but there is a sense of balance in life which means there probably wont always be good days.

Just hang in there buddy! We're right here with you

 

[Cerebralhunt]

I really badly want to share it with her, but I don't think she would take the news very well she has not been treated very well by a past boyfriend borderline, and as a result has horribly low self esteem, and is constantly worried she is not pretty enough (though I tell her everyday) I would very much like to tell her but I truly believe it would crush her

 

[Newman93]

Girls will often think that our arousal and erection problems are to do with them, it's natural I guess if you think of it from their point of view. Imagine you were unable to arouse a girl that you were with, you would think it was your failings. I don't know for sure how your girlfriend would react, but as she already has low self esteem she may be thinking "It's my fault, I'm not attractive enough, I'm not doing it right..." etc when you have performance problems.

I and many other men have been asked "Is it me?" when I have failed to perform, It's just how it goes. If you do decide to share with her, be open about your feelings towards her and show her that you're working to get better, make her feel secure and I'm sure she'll respect you for it.

 

[dwenjang1218]

Yeah definitely tell her dude.

http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/boyfriend-quitting-porn-5-tips

Send her this link.
It's an article on YBOP that gives girlfriends 5 tips on what to do and expect while their boyfriends reboot.
Tell her to look closely at #4 among others, it directly answers her concerns.

and I can tell you rebooting progress is definitely non-linear.
You'll feel your libido and mood swing up and down every day.
It means you are on the right track, so keep it up man.
It will eventually smooth out.

 

[forgiven1]

Im new to this as well today was my 14 day of my reboot and it was a crash and burn :-X feel like crap and dont really know what to next any advice on what to do after a relapse?

 

[Newman93]

What do we do when we fall off the horse?

Remember how this relapse made you feel, acknowledge that you don't deserve to feel like that again and learn to be stronger this time. There is no time limit, or attempt limit so just keep going.

Don't be angry with yourself forgiven1, it is a tough thing that you're attempting and you deserve credit for even trying.

Starting your own post might help you be stronger this time, it has helped me. It is a great place to share, and to collect all the feedback and nice comments from other members - you can also look back at it in times of weakness.

Good luck