Victory! With a bit of confusion...

[Lilliput Haunt]

So before I say anything else - let me say that the program works. It really does. I was a terrible case, and it worked for me, as I'll explain shortly. There are some things that I need to work on I think, but it works. Let me give you some quick background.

1. I was probably one of the worst cases of P induced ED you would have met. Started watching porn at 11, moved up to high speed porn around high school, and spent the time up until I was about 23 with no real knowledge of what was causing my issues. I've slept with about a dozen girls in that time, with terrible ED and never, ever any O.

2. After a while, I eventually was able to achieve O, but only after exhaustive sex, probably close to 40 minutes, and only in the cowgirl position. It wasn't consistent either. Some nights it would happen, most often it would not, leaving both of us with feelings of inadequacy, powerlessness, anxiety, etc. I would PMO about 3-5 times a week on average during this time.

3. After discovering YourBrainOnPorn.com and a few other resources, I took a 4 month hiatus from PMO, with relapses about 4 times, although only with MO, and only once with P involved. It's really true what they say about it being like cheating on a diet rather than resetting a timer. I think on average, it took me 2-3 weeks to work up a high libido again from any of the relapses.

4. After 4 months of extremely limited PMO, I had amazing success! Found a girl who I had slept with before, and for the first time ever, I felt like busting as soon as she got on top of me. Just to make sure it wasn't just cowgirl, I flipped her around and put her in missionary, same effect, much to my pleasure. Same in doggie! The whole thing probably lasted 3 minutes and I don't think anyone in the world has been happier to be a premature ejaculator.

5. So I'd figured that might have been the end to this many-years long problem I had had. Later on however, the feel returned, same as before. Slight ED, problems with O. Its important to note that between these two times, I did engage in some full blown PMO as a 'reward' Ha! Let the be a lesson to you. There's no returning!

I think I'm a little bit confused that I regressed so fast though. I'm wondering if it was simply all that libido I had stored up. During the time I was on my 4-month break, I was also away from internet in general. I'm beginning to feel that internet porn is just the tip of the iceberg, and the amount of time I spend on social networking / youtube / tabbed browsing / video games / movies - all of it produces a similar dopamine flood to porn, which might have something to do with the slow regression to difficulty and delayed ejaculation / ED problems during regular sex. I'm not sure how I'll cut that out of my life, since I feel it's so integral, but I guess I'll start looking into it. Anyone else have any experience with internet addiction in general contributing to a dissatisfaction and disinterest with interpersonal interaction?

"If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

 

[lyon03]

Great post so thanks for sharing. I completely agree with you about the internet/media being low-grade porn. Allow me to explain. Given that most people now click around looking for a movie or television show they like, it recreates the same anticipation, arousal, and seeking habits from PMO. I decided to give up both PMO and TV during my reboot (if not forever) and have rediscovered my love of reading. Thanks for sharing. I learned a lot through your post. 

 

[tenthyoung]

I honestly think that porn addiction is part of internet addiction (I think Gary Wilson stated that as well in his Ted Talk).  When I'm just looking at funny memes online, I just get random urges, even when the pictures are not stimulating at all!  The click to dopamine effect might fire some old neurons I guess.

Anyways, great post.  Congrats on the recovery!  I love the Bruce Lee quote.

 

[Lilliput Haunt]

Thank you so much for your replies lyon03 and tenthyoung!

Yeah, its been an interesting but inadvertent experiment in limiting my internet use as well, since while I was on my 4-month hiatus, I was also in an area that had limited access to high-speed internet, so I kind of slowly, unknowingly reset my dopamine levels with regard to constant bombardment from social media, tabbed youtube browsing, etc. I found myself slowing down, enjoying movies, where before I might only go on Youtube to watch snippits of my favorite scenes. I would start to get really involved in the story-lines of video games, whereas before, I would just basically ignore it and try to just beat the game.

When I came home from my 4 months away, I also found it easier to talk to people. I found myself enjoying the company of other people, and actually feeling quite comfortable in bar scenes. In fact, I wasn't "in my head" like I used to be, where I'd stand in the corner of the bar with a smile on my face, but secretly just thinking that the music sucks, the people are too loud, I'd rather be at home on my computer.

I say all of these discoveries are inadvertent because they weren't my initial aim with taking a break from PMO, but kind of a pleasant surprise. I found the 'slowing down' effect to be really uplifting if you can get into it. When you separate yourself from tabbed browsing, from swiping girls on Tindr and OkCupid, when you allow yourself to 'unplug', even if its not completely (I still played video games and watched movies without getting those jitters), you suddenly feel you appreciate things so much more. You can sit down and really read a book, or meditate, or walk around town, and slowly you find yourself appreciating every minute more.

I think finding a way to 'slow down' and unplug, and at least reduce my internet use will be one of my major New Years Resolutions this year. It's almost impossible to unplug completely in our world these days, being as connected as we are (after all, here we are on RebootNation), but I don't think complete separation is necessary like it was for porn. Maybe I'll just set a resolution to bring my use down to 30% of what it was. That might be a good start.

Cheers! Thanks for all your input guys, keep it coming!

 

[Androg]

http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/what-stimuli-must-i-avoid-during-my-reboot-did-i-relapse

Congratulations!

 

[souljah]

Congratulations!
I hope someday I can write a success story like yours! You probably saved me months of struggling. I planned on watching porn again once in a while after I'm functional in bed again. Now I doubt that it's a good idea to do so.

I made some fast progress as well. My first time was a catastrophe with heavy ED and DE, which btw made me do no PMO. After 15 days of no PMO/ MO my tip at least didn't get limp when I had sex for the second time in my life. It wasn't a full erection all the time and yet again I had DE, but it was a very big difference.
Regaining my erectile function is very important to me. Maybe after all that bullsh*t I'm an even better lover than the average guy and I have strong emotions attached to that goal.

I don't think video games and youtube will get you in trouble if they haven't already. If they did, you know what to do!

Greetings!

 

[AoMSentMe]

5. So I'd figured that might have been the end to this many-years long problem I had had. Later on however, the feel returned, same as before. Slight ED, problems with O. Its important to note that between these two times, I did engage in some full blown PMO as a 'reward' Ha! Let the be a lesson to you. There's no returning!

Good lesson to know - I think that is a good deterrent from ever going back as a reward. Thanks for sharing and congrats on your success!