skyclad
Member
Hello, I have been masturbating to porn since I was 11ish, and I am addicted to porn and masturbation.
For me I would say it started when I discovered my grandfather's playboy collection. It fascinated me, after I discovered them they were all I could think about. I couldn't wait to get out of school everyday and go to their house and sneak my 10-15 minuets of looking at them. After a while I got the balls to sneak one into my back pack to take home. As far as masturbation I really didn't know what I was doing. All I knew was I had an incredible urge to touch myself, and it didn't take m long to get the hang of it.... after this went on for a time I got up the nerve to sneak out one of his vhs porn taps. (Wow remember when porn was on vhs Lol) late at night I put it on and watched my first porn, and I was hooked immediately. It gave me such an intense feeling of pleasure and want, Id never felt before. Over the years i continued to "borrow" my grandfathers porn tapes. Then when I was around 14 I had a best friend who I had sleepovers with almost every weekend. We used to take porn to each others houses with us and spend all night watching porn and jerking off together after parents were in bed. This continued for years. Im straight but we did do the usual "experimenting" teen boys do with each other, so there was an element of real touch there I guess...
After beginning high school the experimenting was pretty much over and I have found myself, though I did continue to PMO with a buddy of mine plus PMOing several times a day on my own. I started masturbating in the bathroom at school to sex pictures I ripped out of playboy and hustlers, usually twice a day because of all the random boners I got. At that age it feels like I was hard all the time. All day at school I couldn't wait to get home so I could continue to masturbate.. As I got older through my twenties and now in my thirties (32), I continued to PMO several times a day whether I was in a steady sexual relationship or not.
By my late twenties my taste in porn had drastically changed, as well as my ability to get or even stay hard. Now its very difficult for me to get hard on my own at all even with porn. I used to be able to give it a few tugs and be totally stiff, now im lucky if I can get a semi on my own. Im usually ok when im with a girl, as long as my dick gets a little special attention I can get hard. If the stimulation stops I start to go soft right away.
Before finding this site, I was looking at porn all night at work and sometimes PMOing at work, and normally would PMO twice a day before or after work. Porn is consuming my life. It breaks my heart knowing how many moments I've missed with family, friends, and even job opportunities just because I wanted to watch porn and jerk off...
Over the last few weeks I have drastically cut back my porn use as well as masturbating. My goal is to cut out porn completely, and only masturbate if I am completely hard. No more jerking off a soft dick.
My current short term goals are, no MO for 30 days, and if i really need to see porn its nude pics only, NO videos. So far I am doing pretty good with it. Im taking baby steps. cutting and reducing things in stages. I have read many articles and members jounals on the effects of PMO and porn in general, and I know its the cause of my problems. I am totally committed to following through with a successful full reboot. Not only am I looking forward to my journey but also looking forward to helping others with theirs. That is what we are all here for.
Thank you for taking the time to read my journal, I wish you all the best of luck on your journey. If anyone needs support or someone to talk to, please feel free to message me!
For me I would say it started when I discovered my grandfather's playboy collection. It fascinated me, after I discovered them they were all I could think about. I couldn't wait to get out of school everyday and go to their house and sneak my 10-15 minuets of looking at them. After a while I got the balls to sneak one into my back pack to take home. As far as masturbation I really didn't know what I was doing. All I knew was I had an incredible urge to touch myself, and it didn't take m long to get the hang of it.... after this went on for a time I got up the nerve to sneak out one of his vhs porn taps. (Wow remember when porn was on vhs Lol) late at night I put it on and watched my first porn, and I was hooked immediately. It gave me such an intense feeling of pleasure and want, Id never felt before. Over the years i continued to "borrow" my grandfathers porn tapes. Then when I was around 14 I had a best friend who I had sleepovers with almost every weekend. We used to take porn to each others houses with us and spend all night watching porn and jerking off together after parents were in bed. This continued for years. Im straight but we did do the usual "experimenting" teen boys do with each other, so there was an element of real touch there I guess...
After beginning high school the experimenting was pretty much over and I have found myself, though I did continue to PMO with a buddy of mine plus PMOing several times a day on my own. I started masturbating in the bathroom at school to sex pictures I ripped out of playboy and hustlers, usually twice a day because of all the random boners I got. At that age it feels like I was hard all the time. All day at school I couldn't wait to get home so I could continue to masturbate.. As I got older through my twenties and now in my thirties (32), I continued to PMO several times a day whether I was in a steady sexual relationship or not.
By my late twenties my taste in porn had drastically changed, as well as my ability to get or even stay hard. Now its very difficult for me to get hard on my own at all even with porn. I used to be able to give it a few tugs and be totally stiff, now im lucky if I can get a semi on my own. Im usually ok when im with a girl, as long as my dick gets a little special attention I can get hard. If the stimulation stops I start to go soft right away.
Before finding this site, I was looking at porn all night at work and sometimes PMOing at work, and normally would PMO twice a day before or after work. Porn is consuming my life. It breaks my heart knowing how many moments I've missed with family, friends, and even job opportunities just because I wanted to watch porn and jerk off...
Over the last few weeks I have drastically cut back my porn use as well as masturbating. My goal is to cut out porn completely, and only masturbate if I am completely hard. No more jerking off a soft dick.
My current short term goals are, no MO for 30 days, and if i really need to see porn its nude pics only, NO videos. So far I am doing pretty good with it. Im taking baby steps. cutting and reducing things in stages. I have read many articles and members jounals on the effects of PMO and porn in general, and I know its the cause of my problems. I am totally committed to following through with a successful full reboot. Not only am I looking forward to my journey but also looking forward to helping others with theirs. That is what we are all here for.
Thank you for taking the time to read my journal, I wish you all the best of luck on your journey. If anyone needs support or someone to talk to, please feel free to message me!
