Its_gotta_get_better
New Member
Well, it's three weeks exactly since my last time jerking off with porn. I'm in my 40's, I've been married for 20 years, and I've had boner problems since I started having sex in my teens. I've been into porn for as long as I can remember, and like the stories of many others I'v read here, my tastes in porn went from straight vanilla in my teens through to tranny and gay porn when I hit my 20's, and that's where it's stayed. I've sought out water sport porn and lots of other stuff. As a result, I think I've had PIED for about 20 years, and the internet made it so much worse. I've spent a great deal of time travelling for work, and away from home. My computer became my best friend, and I think I've probably jerked off to porn every day for the last 15 years. During those 15 years, my sex life with my wife, who I absolutely adore got worse and worse and worse. I cheated on her with random guys thinking that hookups would shoot some life into my sorry, tired junk. I'm pretty sure I got myself hooked on viagra, using it til it just didn't work anymore.
So, the long and the short of it is that I need this to stop. I got busted in a hookup, which was devastating for my wife and for me. The result of that, however, is that we are recommitted to each other and I feel deeper in love than I ever did. I adore her and I'm grateful every day that she's my wife and that she's the mother of our children. I can't even express how grateful I am that she continues to stick with me.
She's obviously aware that my penis doesn't do what it's supposed to. She's supportive, but frustrated. I gave up the jerking and lurking three weeks ago, and immediately went into some kind of funk, that I can only assume is withdrawal. I've started having morning wood, and random wood throughout the day. When she touches me during the day, I get awesome shots of electricity through my junk and I start to get hard. When we're in bed and we want to make love, no matter how she touches me, things don't work. She's frustrated, I'm devastated. I'm sure it's anxiety related, but who knows...It's like when I know there can't be sex, I jump to attention, but when sex is definitely on the menu, I shrink from the task.
So we talked today, and we're going to stop trying for a while. We're going to cuddle and make out and leave it at that, no pressure, and hopefully things will come back naturally.
I really, really want to make this work, and could use any advice, validation, tough love, or comments. I know I'm not alone, but I feel really alone in this.
Thanks
So, the long and the short of it is that I need this to stop. I got busted in a hookup, which was devastating for my wife and for me. The result of that, however, is that we are recommitted to each other and I feel deeper in love than I ever did. I adore her and I'm grateful every day that she's my wife and that she's the mother of our children. I can't even express how grateful I am that she continues to stick with me.
She's obviously aware that my penis doesn't do what it's supposed to. She's supportive, but frustrated. I gave up the jerking and lurking three weeks ago, and immediately went into some kind of funk, that I can only assume is withdrawal. I've started having morning wood, and random wood throughout the day. When she touches me during the day, I get awesome shots of electricity through my junk and I start to get hard. When we're in bed and we want to make love, no matter how she touches me, things don't work. She's frustrated, I'm devastated. I'm sure it's anxiety related, but who knows...It's like when I know there can't be sex, I jump to attention, but when sex is definitely on the menu, I shrink from the task.
So we talked today, and we're going to stop trying for a while. We're going to cuddle and make out and leave it at that, no pressure, and hopefully things will come back naturally.
I really, really want to make this work, and could use any advice, validation, tough love, or comments. I know I'm not alone, but I feel really alone in this.
Thanks
