Am I addicted to porn or masturbation?

A

Alan.85

Member
Hi everyone!

I recently discovered the reboot/rewire theory, and it looks very interesting.

My story is quite simple: I am 29 years old, I discovered masturbation when I was 13 and since then I masturbate about every day or two, with maximum pauses of 4-5 days; I began using just TV and images, but when I was 15 I started using high-speed internet access and porn videos became my everyday routine.

Now, it never affected my life - maybe. I have been a brilliant student and now I am quite successful in my job; I got some friends and masturbation never interfered with my normal activities. I never think of porn, nor to masturbation, if I am not alone and bored.

But I have a big problem: I have never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl before one month ago.  :eek: And, when it happened, I have experienced ED. For ten consecutive nights, and it still goes on.

Maybe it is due to the fact that for me sex has always been something to just observe on a monitor, and not for more than 5 minutes per time? And maybe I have never had a girlfriend because I have never been proactive, calming down any glimpse of sexual feeling masturbating once almost everyday/a couple of days? My libido is always low, and I have never experienced morning erection. I'm fact, I get aroused only by porn (and only if amateur), and if I see a hot girl, I often feel like I would prefer to masturbate watching her having sex with a boy instead of having sex directly with her.

So, it looks like I have a lot of problems, but is it addiction? I think I can easily abandon porn, but what about masturbation? It's 7 days I have not being touching myself, and now I don't feel very "horny". If I will go on with this for other 10 days, I will probably feel like I need to masturbate: but I think that would be natural, for our body it is natural to have sexual tension, isn't it? How do I know if I am addicted??

Thank you!!  :-X
 
T

The320Pilot

Member
Even if you hqve developed a porn habit or a porn addiction, according to what you say, you might have porn-induced erectile dysfunction. In my case, after I cut porn from my life, my masturbation frequence decreased a lot as well, passing from 9-12 times a month to 2-3 in the same time. Most --if not all-- porn users do not masturbate to their libido, but to porn (I think you get the point).

Anyway, I suggest keeping away from porn and reduce masturbation frequence as much as as you can and try to relate more with women.

Cheers!  ;)
 
W

William

Guest
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

Get Educated.
 
A

Alan.85

Member
William said:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

Get Educated.
Click to expand...

Hi William,

In fact it was that TEDx talk that brought me here!

Anyway, if that should be true, I think I will never been able to recover... My brain has never experienced real sex - and not even feminine touch before last month, it has been growing for years just with masturbation induced by porn... I don't think that human brain can change after adolescence, neurons cannot grow brand new...  :(
 
Fappy

Fappy

Respected Member
Not only does the body become dependent on that massive dopamine spike that comes from watching porn, it starts to react in a sexual way to visual stimuli only.
You become so used to getting excited through porn that after a while its the only thing that gets you up. In short, your erotic neurochemical pathways are shot to shit.
In terms of masturbation, if its not to said visual stimuli then its not so detrimental. I always say, theres nothing wrong with a nice wholesome wank (ive never actually said that).
 
Chaos Mind

Chaos Mind

Active Member
Hey Alan,

I recognize many aspects you mention at myself. I thought I had no problems. Been successful at school, have a great job and no health problems. My first relationship with a girl was at age 19 and lasted 4 years. Only a few months later I fell in love my current girlfriend (3 years until now). Yes, I thought I had everything under control. But I didn't. I only suffered from ED when I had massive PMO sessions, but I had a feeling that I became more and more desensitized. My gf wanted sex far more often than I did and I thought that it was just normal. But when I was honest to myself, I had to admit I'd often rather masturbate instead of having sex.
I am clean now for nearly two weeks and my love life has become so much better already! Positive side effects: I am more motivated in my job and I am more active in general.

I wouldn't necessarily say you have PIED. I mean...she's your first ever girlfriend. That's a huge thing in your life and I assume you've desperately waited for that day a long time. It could simply be that this is all too much for your little fellow. But it could also be a first sign of PIED. Or it is a mixture (truth is always in between, isn't it?).

Lets have a look at the pros and cons for you if you quit porn.

pro:
- High probability of stronger erections
- Experience of TRUE love
- No porn-cheating on your girlfriend
- Healthy sex fantasies
- More time spent with your beloved one instead of pants down in front of your screen
- better concentration & sharp mind lead to more success at your job and a happier life in general

cons:
- Stressful at the beginning
- You might be missing your daily dose of porn just like an alcoholic misses cheap grotty wine

The choice is yours.
 
Vincent

Vincent

Active Member
Dude, you simply are nervous about the fact that it might finally happen....
You, like me as well, developed a habit of performing sex by sitting in front of your PC. Your body is used to dopamine spikes daily and your brain is accustomed to voyeuristic sex.

You said, you never kissed a girl before. That means, that you might have wished for it. The ED you now have is because you are confronted with the real thing. THis is unknown for you and it produces mental stress leading to psychosomatic symptoms like ED.

Of course you might also have PIED. And of course you have a problem, if porn is you stress valve as well as sexuality act out method.

The thing to do four you is to use this Flatline!!!!!!!! for the better. jump off the porn train and use this opportunity to find an new approach to sexuality  for yourself. This could be your chance to get rid of porn, so why not try it?
 
A

Alan.85

Member
Great, I will do it and I will avoid porn from now on.

I will avoid masturbation too for 90 days, let's just see what the results will be.

I have been looking for the last 15 years the key reason why I have always been single (I am not too ugly, I have a lot of friends, male and females, and many people think I am brilliant and fun... So everyone thinks I don't like girls or that I am a sort of asexual man...). In the worst case, this would be another wrong epiphany and I will start looking for other solutions to my problem :p
 
W

William

Guest
Anyway, if that should be true, I think I will never been able to recover... My brain has never experienced real sex - and not even feminine touch before last month, it has been growing for years just with masturbation induced by porn... I don't think that human brain can change after adolescence, neurons cannot grow brand new..."

Hi Alan, I must tell you that the above statement is incorrect.  Watch the video again.  You need to understand that over years of PMO you have conditioned your brain to give you a dopamine reward in response to hypersexual thoughts, usually by viewing porn.  Porn is just a button we push to get a dopamine response.  You have wired your brain to reward that dopamine high the porn button gives you.  But if you watch that video you will see you can "rewire" the brain.  You have sensitized your brain to porn, the solution is to desensitize it, and that usually means the hard 90, 90 days no porn, no PMO, no MO, no O, and no hypersexualized thoughts.  You are, in that time, trying to set your brain "back to factory settings" so to speak, back to a time when you got a dopamine high in response, and only in response, to living, breathing human beings, which means a lesser more infrequent high, but also, freedom from slavery. 

Good luck!
 
shutemdwn

shutemdwn

Member
I don't know bro. I just started this no porn thing and you can see my counter down there. I have not masturbated in that time either, but I sure want to. I was directed to a link in the reboot basics on whether or not masturbation is ok during the reboot. You can, but it can trigger the urge to watch porn and slow the healing process. Soooo I personally am going to go as long as I can without masturbation as well. Last night was tough, this morning was tough, had morning wood. And right now I feel the urge. I'm going to have to take this one day at a time. Good luck to everyone!
 
Vincent

Vincent

Active Member
@william: don't think, that the mind and body are that defective. Of course you can also do that after your adolescence. Being responive to sexual cues is genetically programmed into us. It is our main reason to be able to reproduce to do that exact thing. It is something initiated by instinct. Techniques and stuff are learned as is to be "a good lover".
In your first statement you say that neurons can't grow brand new. In the second you say that one can set the brain back to factory settings. Why should this not apply to your situation as well?

As for the thread: If there were to exist a super solution, we would not need this forum. My friend, you just have to start with no fapping. Then you will figure out your way through it. The importance is only to not lie to yourself!
 
B

Bestyear2015

Member
You perfectly summmed up the pros and cons!  Everytime I struggle I think of the great life that is ahead without that crap, and it makes the war worthwhile, and maybe even fun (you feel great and confident when you win the daily battles!
 
A

Alan.85

Member
Bestyear2015 said:
You perfectly summmed up the pros and cons!  Everytime I struggle I think of the great life that is ahead without that crap, and it makes the war worthwhile, and maybe even fun (you feel great and confident when you win the daily battles!
Click to expand...

Ok I can try to do this challenge, it's not a problem.

The problem is that maybe I won't achieve any pro because in fact I am not addicted neither to porn nor to masturbation  :(
 
C

challenged

Active Member
I really don't think it matters whether you decide you are "addicted" to M or porn.  My reading of various articles indicates that even guys (particularly younger guys) who probably would not be classified as "addicts" have experienced various types of sexual dysfunction, including ED.  Eliminating porn and/or M for a period of time seems to result in recovery and return to a healthy state.

You have a problem, i.e., ED.  It appears to be correlated with regular M and/or porn.  Therefore, it seems like a reasonable step to stop M and porn and see if that resolves the ED problem.  Don't get obsessed with labels, and don't get obsessed with what might or might not happen, or when.  Just change your lifestyle (i.e., reboot) and see what happens.  I'm betting you will experience positive results.
 
M

Mbg

Active Member
^this!^

For me, I've had to come to terms with the fact that I am and always will be a sex addict.  Initially, I thought porn was my only problem, but then I began my first step in a 12 step program and can see how my addiction has progressed through my entire life.  I used sex as a way to medicated, I've objectified women, and have taken serious risks throughout my sex life including unprotected sex with strangers, and my masturbation compulsions became a risk involving my job and family life.  All of our stories are different but in the end, we all want the same thing: we all want to be sexually and emotionally healthy.  For me, I can't go back to masturbation or porn.  Both behaviors were obviously ones I could not control or manage in my own life.  The boundaries I set for myself were eventually broken, along with the promises I made to myself stop.  I am powerless to my addiction and for me, I need a strong program of support to guide me on my path to recovery. 

I realize all of our stories are different and for some, masturbation may not be an unhealthy compulsive habit, but I always recommend at least 30 days of abstinence.  If one cannot make it 30 days, then it may be a sign of an unhealthy relationship to masturbation.  Food for thought. 
 
Vincent

Vincent

Active Member
To tell the truth:

It definitely is possible to go no fap hard mode forever.
The only reason I "can't" make it is because I don't really "want" to. That is all. It is not about who has the strongest will, who has the best determination etc. -> btw those are all dick comparisms and should not be used by us, since they are ridiculous....

There are only little reasons to start no fap:

You either have been searching for a solution to a problem - like I have with my PIED/Anxiety ED
Or
You wanted to see whether this is all just bullshit or not, tested it and foud yourself to be more addicted than you thought
or
You just want to see how long you can make it without


And let me tell you: all those reasons are legit!!!! There is nothing wrong with just trying.

It neither is unhealthy not to masturbate nor is it dangerous. On the other hand it is also not a downfall if you masturbate.
Problems only arise, when a compulsive behaviour that really affects your life and those around you, as Mbg perfectls described, manifests itself. When you only get off with porn or only "really" hard to porn (instincts are still there so you will get hard. But there definitely is a difference to a porn induced erection).

The serious part comes up when you create your addiction by forming a habit, be it M or Porn. That doesn't matter, because both can influence your behaviour negatively. Since the two however are usually corelated, they are cured best simultaneously. This, nevertheless, is only a suggestion by poeple who share their stories because they wanted to help. This does not mean there are no further developements.

Bottom line: It should be doable to quit PMO/MO for 30 days. It should also be possible for 90, 120, 365..... the question is: why would you want that. If you can answer that, you found your reason.
 
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