Thankful to be here!

[Hoopdogg]

Wow. What a ride. I'm 36 and can date my addiction to porn back well before 10.  I've been very fortunate in life. I've had a successful career and marriage. Two amazing kids and a God loving wife. I was at the to of my career and led a life that people envied.

This November that all came crashing down. A nuclear event as I've been told. I am in the process of losing my wife and kids and not just my job but my career. It all stems back to my porn addiction that had advanced. 

It's been a rough holiday season and part of the healing process is that I majorly need a Reboot.  I Would lie if even after all of this I haven't watched porn but that wiring is so strong. 

Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm Hoopdogg. I'm broken and need a Reboot.  The process has begun because Ive cried recently for the first time in decades. It just sucks that all I can feel is hurt. But it feels good to hurt.

I love you all. I really do because I now know that I'm not alone.

 

[fugu]

Hey friend! It's great you are here tackling this head on. Honestly, just acknowledging the problem is one of the biggest steps, and now you are well on your way to fully rebooting and recovering

Even though tough times have come down upon you, I truly believe you can pick yourself up and fix this. You can do the right thing now, and you can start whenever you want.

This play is the best place for support and advice. Have you started a journal?! I highly recommend doing it. It's very therapeutic and it's a great way to hold yourself and others accountable to your goals!

 

[Fappy]

Hi mate welcome
Youve found the cure to your sickness!
This will be the start of a new and better life. Not only for yourself, but for your family too.
All the help and support you need is right here.
Pornography addiction wrecks people and destroys lives. But there is a cure. One that is free, too.

 

[Bagpuss]

Sorry to hear you're going through the wringer at the minute. You've made an important step, keep strong mentally as best you can, keep us posted. Be good to yourself.

 

[Hoopdogg]

Today was tough. I was so depressed. I wanted to look at porn to numb the pain. But I refrained. That dopamine fix is amazing how tough it can be. I'm so thankful for this site. I'm going to do a 90 day hard boot. Today is day 2. 98 days of hell is headed my way but with God's help and they help of this board, I will succeed!

Love you guys. I really do. I'm starting to feel again. I cried 3 times today for no reason.

 

[Hoopdogg]

Ha. 88 days. Math is hard.

 

[Bagpuss]

How goes it hoopster?

 

[Hoopdogg]

It goes. I feel like I've been in a depressive state the past 4-5 days.  I got to spend time with my kids for the entire weekend, that was the first time I've had that time since the nuclear event happened.  That was therapeutic for me.

 

[Bestyear2015]

It will all get good again! Indeed some days are hell especially in the first three weeks Keep trucking its so worth it. I am on day 42, and my life has changed already. You will have some breakthroughs, so dont quit.

 

[Hoopdogg]

Thanks Bestyear.  I am so excited about the recovery.  Honestly, I know that this terrible situation that I've created is what was needed for me to start the healing process, but it was so costly in the earthly terms.  I am not sure I will ever win my wife back, or get a great career.  But the personal and spiritual gains I've made almost make it worth it.  I know a few years from now, I will look at the situation and see how much of a blessing it is.  It's just tough to see that now.

 

[Ka-Kui]

Hoopdogg, what you wrote touched me. I'm in some dark moment and I just wanted to say that you have my support. We gonna beat this addiction and be finally free.

Let's face day by day with this journey with the most strenght possible!

All the best for you, keep posting.

 

[Hoopdogg]

Thanks Ka-Kui. I'm not sure what I have done to deserve to inspire anyone. I'm just trying to take it one day at a time.

 

[B_Rosky]

Hi Hoopdogg,

Sorry for the pain you are currently going through. You found a good community though. I would also recommend Sex Addicts Anonymous if you haven't explored that route yet. For me, it has been very helpful. My recovery has been dual SAA and online support groups.

I can say that the stories I've heard in my local Sex Addicts Anonymous group are heartbreaking and inspiring at the same time. I personally know a handful of guys that have lost their careers and their marriages and have turned their careers around and have started to build lasting relationships.

Again sorry for your loss. Just know you're not alone in this.

-B

 

[Hoopdogg]

B_Ro,
I do frequently attend SAA meetings.  Due to my new job, I haven't been able to this week but it is very helpful indeed.

 

[ready2go]

Hoopdog,
We are all in this together.  I myself am just getting started here and had no idea what porn could be doing to us.  Glad to know that you found us, and I found us, and we are going to all do this together and hold each other up as we move through reboot and rewire.  Good luck.  Call on me anytime.