I have been masturbating and having sex before porn but hit a patch in college where I was working and in school full time. I think that's the reason I used to fuel my addiction. I was on this pmo thing non stop especially when I felt stressed out. No need to say I started developing ed with real life partners. I found every excuse in the book why it was happening.. went to the doc I was told I was healthy and no medical problems. I was able to have sex sometimes but wasn't the best by any stretch of the imagination. Got to the point I couldn't get an erection even with my g/f laying naked beside me and begging me (didn't that take a tool on my confidence). So I did what every body does these days when they have an issue Google and found ybop. Read some stuff on there and realized that may be the cause of the problem especially seeing that I have been in a relationship 7 years with my g/f which if it wasn't for her I would probably have just said screw it and give up on this crap. So I said I was gonna quit and kept relapsing and relapsing over and over again. The frustration was immense and I ended up breaking up with her because I felt inadequate as a man. I disappeared for 8 months and was able to quit the porn and masturbation which felt great. I was going out more, really didn't feel like being on my laptop and was overall more productive. Ended up going back to my g/f because I was missing her and she literally welcomed me with arms wide open. For next 3 to 4 months the sex was great 4-5 days per week multiple times per day. I felt like the man but little did I know about the chaser effect it provides where as she went back to her apartment I was on the laptop pmoing again without even realizing it and I was back in the cycle again. Fast Forward 6 months later I realized my ed was coming back and having pe, erections was getting weaker and weaker. Also realize the porn material was escalating again.
So I am back in the saddle again trying to beat this addiction again. Its been over 30 days now. I hit flatline before I even started the reboot.
Week 1-4: horrible flatline, kept thinking why I did this to myself again, why didn't I educate myself further, how did I miss the chaser effect topic. I came clean to gf about it, she is supportive about my getting better but she does get frustrated about it when she is in that mood and I am just not up to the challenge and it is killing me inside.
Week 4-now: I am out the flatline, getting erections but between 20-60%, stuff she does, say and seeing her sometimes is enough to cause one also but not enough to penetrate and with severe PE. Getting morning wood and having dreams of past sexual experiences with current g/f and past ones on a nightly basis. Just feeling frustrated and mad at myself. I think I will keep updating this.
So I am back in the saddle again trying to beat this addiction again. Its been over 30 days now. I hit flatline before I even started the reboot.
Week 1-4: horrible flatline, kept thinking why I did this to myself again, why didn't I educate myself further, how did I miss the chaser effect topic. I came clean to gf about it, she is supportive about my getting better but she does get frustrated about it when she is in that mood and I am just not up to the challenge and it is killing me inside.
Week 4-now: I am out the flatline, getting erections but between 20-60%, stuff she does, say and seeing her sometimes is enough to cause one also but not enough to penetrate and with severe PE. Getting morning wood and having dreams of past sexual experiences with current g/f and past ones on a nightly basis. Just feeling frustrated and mad at myself. I think I will keep updating this.
