I want to have sex...Should I do it?

[George Oh Well]

So it has been about two weeks and I can get strong erections that will stay up for a while. I notice girls more and not only am I not nervous, I enjoy talking to them and being around them in social situations. I have no desire to masturbate or view porn, just have sex. Should I do it or will this just set me back?

 

[Gambit123]

my first month of my reboot i did softmode and i saw immediate results. I thougth i was ok to have sex. I started masterbating more but without porn and i think the frequent Os set me back and then i went back to having ED. Now i am doing hardmode, almost 50 days in...and i am starting to finlaly see some results again (wohoo!). From what i have read, orgasming too early too frequently can be bad for your reboot. Most recommend 90 days hardmode before you start having sex again. I have also seen the phrase a couple times, short reboot = short term results.

I would recommend doing the hardmode for 90 days and just be done with it. It sounds like you are well on your way though!

 

[George Oh Well]

To me it is not necessarily about the O, but just feeling a woman. I guess that's why I don't care to masturbate. I just need to find someone with whom I can rewire, I guess.

 

[Gambit123]

I am a newbie here, but from what i have a read a proper reboot is about the O...you need to abstain from O for a period of time which is different for everyone, but standard is 90 days. Read YBOP - it talks about how you need to abstain from masturbation and O in order to resolve the PIED for most men.

 

[Mark123]

Reading around on the forums it seems difficult to say how everyone will react as every case is individual in terms of recovery time.

The feelings you're getting could be part of the reboot process - I've been PMO/MO free for about 3 weeks and have been on an emotional roller coaster.

No need to rush in to anything for the time being, but from all the other comments of more experienced guys on here, I guess being PMO free for the 30 days is the way to go.

Your choice obviously, and I am by no means a doctor/therapist!

Good luck with whichever you choose! Let us know how it works out 

 

[George Oh Well]

Yeah abstaining from the O seems to be the way to go...It has been an emotional day for me. I have been going from horny to depressed in 60 seconds flat and my balls hurt so bad. I'm going to beat this.

 

[Pr3c1se]

I would hold off.  Even just thinking about having sex with a real woman can cause you to take the urge out by MOing or PMOing.  Take this as an opportunity to focus on your own life. 

COLD SHOWERS AND THE GYM ARE YOUR FRIEND!! haha

 

[Gambit123]

For what its wroth guys, I am on day 50 of hardmode after doing 1 month soft mode (just reduced MO and no P). This week I have seen the first tangible results. Harder and longer lasting erections standing up. And D is bigger when flaccid and just feels different in a good way!!! so I think the no O thing may be working...lets hope I keep on progressing. So I am not posting here to brag or anything, point is...I had little to no results for first 45 days. So keep at it guys! Hope everyone is staying strong.

 

[leram]

In early days of my recovery, I felt the same. Then, back to flatline.

Maybe you need a dopamine hit? Maybe your brain is tricking you? What's recommended is to take break, and focus on something else like your work, studies, body, life goals, or whatever.

 

[George Oh Well]

So does this mean that the side effects of ejaculating with either sex or masturbation are the same during  during recovery?

 

[firstreboot]

I'm curious about this thread, you see the reason why I started to reboot was because I started to see a girl about a two months ago and were fouling around a little bit two weeks ago but I wouldn't get hard, hence the reboot.  Its been two weeks and she was back in town, I haven't seen her since I started the reboot.  She spent the night but I would get more than half hard, even with great oral. Thankfully she seemed ok with the situation.  I hate this flatline business and wonder how long it will last.  But at least it also means that I don't really have a desire to PMO or MO. Even when I was MO with her it didn't have the same feeling and I could get hard. Honesty I just want to please her, but I'm content just messing around and getting her to O. The relationship is new so I'm not sure if I should tell her about this or not...though if it happens again I think I'd have to explain whats up, but that's likely another two weeks sway, so hopefully after four weeks of reboot I'll be able to have sex.  I don't mean to commander the thread, rather if you can wait, I wouldn't rush to find someone to have sex with, even if you can make yourself hard.  Keep strong, we can beat this!

 

[Mark123]

First Reboot,

Think I am in the same boat as you. I've been in a relationship for about 4 months, suffering from DE which was the reason for nofap and that lead on to performance anxiety which meant I couldnt get hard. Been PMO/MO free for about 4 weeks and find it easy to get hard now around my SO. I'm hoping it's just a matter of time now before my DE disappears. Keep me updated man

For other guys, I think I'm slowly working out that rebooting with a partner is ok, as it helps rewire your brain to a real human rather than a screen and your hand. Everyone is different, but that's just my experience and 2p worth.

Good luck guys.

 

[Fappy]

Intercourse with a person whom you care about is very good for the reboot process. It can eliminate the desire to watch porn completely and increase your feelings of intimacy and sensitivity.
Real sex with a loved one is so much better and worth the effort than whacking yourself to some filthy crack-whore-cum bucket slut on the internet. Rewire the brain to respond sexually to your gf and only your gf. Only think about her when you make love. You are going to get off either way, so you might as well split her in half with your rock hard erection as look at pixels on a screen!

Fap 8===D

 

[isoldatvonce]

I started seeing a girl recently, first few times i took some herbal pills just to be on a safe side with my boners.
Now i feel more relaxed and we have sex almost every time we see each other. I still dont allow myself to orgasm till March at least.
Seems to me like i got better with my boners since i started

 

[Gambit123]

so my question is similar to the one posed on the initial thread but a bit different. I am almost on day 60 of hardmode (After ding 1 month of softmode) and I am ESTATIC to say that the last 2 weeks I have seen a lot of progress. I wake up with MW almost every day, erections are noticeably stronger, I can maintain an erection standing up, and it just looks and feels bigger! However, I also realize there is room for improvement too and I am not 100 percent there yet with my ED issues. Equally significant, I rarely have cravings for porn and my sexual thoughts of are girls I am dating or some steamy seen involving me an ex gf.

Anyways my q is this....being that I am almost on 60 day of hardmode and I have enough results to probably have sex successfully (75% sure), should I try sex and have an O? Or should I wait the full 90 of hardmode? I don't want to set myself back. I am dating two girls and I am just making out and cuddling with them and it helping (I like them too and don't just see them as sex goals), but I think sex might be in the near future so unsure how to proceed. I hear having an O during hardmode can set you back. I will gladly do hardmode another 2 months if it will 100 percent cure my ED too but some say starting to have sex asap helps heal faster. So advice anyone? One other thing to mention...after 3 weeks of softmode (no P, reduced MO) I saw great results but then MOd 3 times in one day and appeared to set myself back to square one with the ED issue. Gary said in one of his articles that if you start Oing too much after your ED is resolved it oculd set you back into a flatline and that might have been what happened to me (who knows though). So, I am cognizant of that and don't want to do anything to impede my progress. Advice anyone? Start having sex with partial resolution of ED or wait 90 plus days until my ED issues are more or less completely resolved?

 

[Phase2]

Great to hear you are making significant progress, Gambit! Good for you. I'm on Day 44 and would love to get some positive reinforcement. Hopefully it will be soon. As far as your question, I'm no expert, but it sounds like you are a bit anxious about trying too early so why not just wait a couple more weeks? When you feel confidant, then go for it. Just keep up the rewiring until you are ready for penetration. Who knows, maybe one of these rewiring sessions will get so hot that it will feel natural and comfortable and like the time has come for intercourse. Seems to me, sex works best when we don't think about it too much and we do what feels natural to us. So maybe just let it happen and not try to plan it out too much? Good luck man. Keep us informed on your progress! I love hearing good news!

 

[Gambit123]

Thanks phase2! that is what I am thinking. I think I am going to do the full 90. Maybe even more.

I barely saw any results until the 45ish day. I am on day 57 now. be patient and keep me informed on your progress, which I am sure will happen in the near future! It is quite a relief to see some progress, I will tell ya! I hope everyone is being strong and bright futures are ahead of us

 

[benDubs]

Gambit I am in the exact same situation bro! Got a couple very attractive women that are ready to do the deed right now, and I'm sitting here wondering if I should delay longer... I also MO'd at day 38 then seemingly went back to square 1 when I tried sex the next day, just like you! I feel like we are quite similar in many ways, let me know how your progress is and I will update you as well, we can probably help each other out.

 

[Gambit123]

SoftFratboy, that sounds like a good plan! out of curiosity, when you MOd, how long did it take you to get back to the point of progress before you MOd? less time than the initial period to see that same progress?

I think I am going to do the hard 90 before attempting sex.

 

[benDubs]

Gambit: It seems like less to me. About a week after I MOed, I started getting MW and a few spontaneous boners during class and such, while it took about a month to get there from the start. I believe that as long as you avoid P, you are making progress, but it seems like MOing slows down the progress, at least for me. I'm just worried to have another sex test because I was pretty confident I was good to go last time and I could barely penetrate at maybe 60% hard. I will have no problem going a few months without jerking off, I've got plenty of will power for that. However I am very tired of not inviting one of my girls over and it's very difficult for me to go for weeks without doing that. I'm planning on keeping it at just snuggling until valentine's day, then have another sex test then. If that fails, I'll finish the full 90 days and pray that I'm good to go for spring quarter. Speaking of snuggling, I cuddled and watched a movie with a girl a few days ago and I could feel my heart rate going up, which is something I'm pretty sure hasn't happened to me for quite a while. I'll take that as progress, since that must mean my pleasure center is finally remembering that physical contact is what SHOULD get it excited.