beancooler09
New Member
I really need to stop this obsession with porn / It is ruining my marriage and i risk losing my wife and kids
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- Thread starter beancooler09
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ready2go
Active Member
Hey Beancooler
Welcome! I'm new here myself and have already found this to be an amazingly useful resource just packed with great guys willing to hear and support you. I'm finding it really useful to spend the hours I spent with porn right here and on associated boards and sites instead - actually many more hours. There is a lot to read and know. My being here actually goes much further toward filling whatever needs I was getting otherwise filled with porn - because the people here actually love me back. It's something I can feel and know. There is no judgement, no control, no expectation other than you want to clean your life of the toxic results from an ongoing porn habit.
Glad you found us, and glad we found you! I don't think it will be very long before you feel the love, acceptance, and knowing of what you're going through that these men have to offer, regardless of your situation. There are very few places or people in the world where I have felt so completely understood and accepted. On many levels, we all already know each other because we have all been through the same things, and that provides a very solid common basis. Of course everyone is unique and their stories are as well, which is what makes it really interesting. I have read no cases of or situations here with any lecturing or cut downs, only support and caring for each other, regardless of the place in which one finds himself.
Keep going, you can totally do this. Be in touch any time you like.
With love.
Welcome! I'm new here myself and have already found this to be an amazingly useful resource just packed with great guys willing to hear and support you. I'm finding it really useful to spend the hours I spent with porn right here and on associated boards and sites instead - actually many more hours. There is a lot to read and know. My being here actually goes much further toward filling whatever needs I was getting otherwise filled with porn - because the people here actually love me back. It's something I can feel and know. There is no judgement, no control, no expectation other than you want to clean your life of the toxic results from an ongoing porn habit.
Glad you found us, and glad we found you! I don't think it will be very long before you feel the love, acceptance, and knowing of what you're going through that these men have to offer, regardless of your situation. There are very few places or people in the world where I have felt so completely understood and accepted. On many levels, we all already know each other because we have all been through the same things, and that provides a very solid common basis. Of course everyone is unique and their stories are as well, which is what makes it really interesting. I have read no cases of or situations here with any lecturing or cut downs, only support and caring for each other, regardless of the place in which one finds himself.
Keep going, you can totally do this. Be in touch any time you like.
With love.
Dharmabum
Active Member
Hi Beancooler,
Welcome. Please come here often and post how you're doing, what you're thinking?.your fears and hopes. I've found this to be a great way to open up about something most of us hadn't had the nerve to talk about with others.
There are answers here, but more so, there are fellow strugglers here who are trying to heal their marriage and lives as well. You'll learn a lot, get support, and start to see a way out.
Read all you can about porn addiction so you understand how your brain works. The first thing it will tell you when you try to get sober is that you don't need resources, you can do this on your own and white knuckle it. Then it might tell you "just a little porn" won't hurt, just don't go back to the amount you were viewing.
That's the addiction talking. It wants you back, and will take you however it can get you. Read, learn, and take steps to rewire your brain. You'll make it more difficult for those triggers to get pulled and you'll feel like a new person. The struggle is there, we're always the same distance from the ditch, as it were, but we have better footing, and better vision to avoid falling into it again.
Please feel free to share here. Good group of guys (and ladies) who will cheer you on.
Welcome. Please come here often and post how you're doing, what you're thinking?.your fears and hopes. I've found this to be a great way to open up about something most of us hadn't had the nerve to talk about with others.
There are answers here, but more so, there are fellow strugglers here who are trying to heal their marriage and lives as well. You'll learn a lot, get support, and start to see a way out.
Read all you can about porn addiction so you understand how your brain works. The first thing it will tell you when you try to get sober is that you don't need resources, you can do this on your own and white knuckle it. Then it might tell you "just a little porn" won't hurt, just don't go back to the amount you were viewing.
That's the addiction talking. It wants you back, and will take you however it can get you. Read, learn, and take steps to rewire your brain. You'll make it more difficult for those triggers to get pulled and you'll feel like a new person. The struggle is there, we're always the same distance from the ditch, as it were, but we have better footing, and better vision to avoid falling into it again.
Please feel free to share here. Good group of guys (and ladies) who will cheer you on.
olafthewise
Active Member
ok lets start with the basics; the first few items are done immediately.
boredom; get something you like to substitute the porn like a hobby, or DVD movies like sci fi, or Lord of the rings. Use these to take up your time for the first few days/weeks of no porn.
Delete all porn, pics, movies and saved sites from your computer and possession. Use nature or some kind of animal art for desktop wallpaper. Remove all magazines, muscle mags, Victoria secret catalogs, etc from your home. Destroy all, ok, destroy!
Place computer in an uncomfortable place to avoid lengthy internet surfing. If family is around, do email, weather and banking then.
Avoid lengthy showers and nude time for a few days in order to avoid temptation.
Eat healthy. avoid excessive alcohol.
Do fitness and avoid watching TV alone.
If you so much need to masturbate do so by hand and without pictures. Or have wife do it. (better)
after a couple of weeks of no porn, you will notice life, color, music and people. experience life by having get-togethers with others. Meet new people, do stuff with kids, etc.
If you relapse by going to internet porn, delete the stuff and start over. The masturbation you may experience is because you look at other women too much. Look at you daily experiences and eliminate any sexually explicit pictures or movies no matter how mild.
Keep coming here to this site. read the articles on yourbrainonporn.com and realize the damage porn causes. It should motivate and educate you to the dangers of ED, ADD and other problems.
Remember, your removing the porn and restarting your brain. It doesn't mean you won't be attracted to females, it just puts your brain into a mode that is healthy and productive again. Try to not do any electronics or at least very little for the first few days.
boredom; get something you like to substitute the porn like a hobby, or DVD movies like sci fi, or Lord of the rings. Use these to take up your time for the first few days/weeks of no porn.
Delete all porn, pics, movies and saved sites from your computer and possession. Use nature or some kind of animal art for desktop wallpaper. Remove all magazines, muscle mags, Victoria secret catalogs, etc from your home. Destroy all, ok, destroy!
Place computer in an uncomfortable place to avoid lengthy internet surfing. If family is around, do email, weather and banking then.
Avoid lengthy showers and nude time for a few days in order to avoid temptation.
Eat healthy. avoid excessive alcohol.
Do fitness and avoid watching TV alone.
If you so much need to masturbate do so by hand and without pictures. Or have wife do it. (better)
after a couple of weeks of no porn, you will notice life, color, music and people. experience life by having get-togethers with others. Meet new people, do stuff with kids, etc.
If you relapse by going to internet porn, delete the stuff and start over. The masturbation you may experience is because you look at other women too much. Look at you daily experiences and eliminate any sexually explicit pictures or movies no matter how mild.
Keep coming here to this site. read the articles on yourbrainonporn.com and realize the damage porn causes. It should motivate and educate you to the dangers of ED, ADD and other problems.
Remember, your removing the porn and restarting your brain. It doesn't mean you won't be attracted to females, it just puts your brain into a mode that is healthy and productive again. Try to not do any electronics or at least very little for the first few days.
Beancooler, glad you are here and are fighting the good fight!
It is so worth it, as you stated for your wife and your kids - but also for you! You are worth it and deserving of a healthy, real and non-Internet based existence.
Come here often and use the strength and knowledge you find here to help you through the tough, tempting times.
You can do this brother!!!
It is so worth it, as you stated for your wife and your kids - but also for you! You are worth it and deserving of a healthy, real and non-Internet based existence.
Come here often and use the strength and knowledge you find here to help you through the tough, tempting times.
You can do this brother!!!
beancooler09
New Member
thanks for the advice and encouragement. I had my wife do parent lock on my phone so im no longer seeing it through my phone
olafthewise
Active Member
phone can be a problem. Use only productive apps. Allow wife to look at where you've been on phone. But if software is in use you should be ok.
remember, severely limit electronics for several days. do painting projects at home.
remember, severely limit electronics for several days. do painting projects at home.