Starting a new realtionship and in love.... Please advise me!

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terrence86

New Member
Last week I kissed a girl whom I have been friends with first for years.... I also confessed my love to her and she feels the same..... She is the most important person in the world to me and I am due to meet her again at the end of the week...
I have been crying hopelessly the last night and today as I think this could ruin everything... I havent PMO'd or even thought about it since we hooked up which is 7 days today... I actually think I could be over this addiction no problem being with her...
7 days is already my best record in some time...

The trouble is that starting a relationship she will want sex at some stage and I will be terrified.... I need time to rewire (some 14 years of porn)
I think tonight I am going to finally come clean to someone and talk to a girl I am friends with many years.... I need to admit I have an addiction and be done with it..

Any advise on those of you who came clean to a girlfriend would greatly help me...

Thanks...
 
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CrateDane

Active Member
I came clean to my girlfriend after about a week (with 1 failed attempt at sex) and she has been absolutely wonderful about it. Now my failed attempt at sex could be caused by many things as mentioned in my journal and might not even be PIED related but I decided to give up PMO just to be on the safe side.
I strongly suggest telling her, it will take a weight off your shoulders if she knows that you could fail to get an erection and it would NOT be about her. She would know that you still find her attractive and that you like her.
I can totally understand the fear you have, I felt the same but I strongly suggest telling and I also very much encourage you to not be afraid about trying sex with her. You might not be able to get a strong erection for while but you can still have a great time if you can see past that AND you can still give her a wonderful time as well. Remember, we are more than walking penises :)
 
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Mark123

Member
Definitely tell her. If she's a keeper, which I'm sure she is, she'll be understanding and willing to listen and help you through. Communication's really important in relationships and your only other option when you do have sex with her is making excuse after excuse, or not having sex at all which will just make her start to not trust you. Remember she's your girlfriend and you should be able to tell her anything with confidence and trust. Also, think of it as if the shoe was on the other foot - I'm sure you'd be more than willing to listen and be supportive of any problem she has and want to get over it together.

Hope this helps.

Good luck with the reboot man!
 
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terrence86

New Member
Thanks so much for your replies, I actually feel at some point I will tell her, kinda have to... I just dunno when the right moment to tell is..... Perhaps it is yet too soon, unless something happens... Or doesn't rather.....

Anyway, I opened up to a friend last night, told her everything, it the toughest thing I've ever had to do in life... Especially with her being a girl, but I knew going that far to admit I had a problem would make me feel stronger in the long run... I'm terribly embarrassed but I know it was a powerful step to move on and see this as a thing of the past....

I wish you all the best as well.... I really do..
 
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Gambit123

Active Member
Here is an idea that I am considering as I am dating too but on a reboot. You can just tell her generally that you are doing a zen type cleanse to your system which involves 3 months or more of no sexual stimulation. It will make you a healthier and better person. You can say you read about it in a journal, have friends who have seen benefits, etc. It is not a lie, just very general. But ya, the ideal thing to do it is tell her the absolute truth, but this could be something you tell her first to ease your way into it.
 
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firstreboot

Member
Hey man, I'm in the same boat, but about a week ahead. I met a girl two months ago, and had just been kissing and whatnot, two weeks ago ended up naked but time constrains cut things short, but that stimulated my reboot.  A couple days ago she was in town again and attempted sex, which failed.  I havent told her, but she seem OK with the situation, hopefully I tell her enough that she knows I think she's attractive.  Well we won't see each other for another two weeks so hopefully after four weeks of no O I'll be up to the task, if not I think I'll have to tell her.  However, for me I've only recently got to know her and am not even sure if she sees this as just a causal thing or something more.  But in your situation I think I'd tell her, though perhaps only if you can't have sex (either this time or the next) but since you've known each other for a while I'm sure shed be understanding, she has waited two years already, what's a little longer?
 
Fappy

Fappy

Respected Member
I agree with the others here. It might be a good idea to tell her of your problem. If you do engage in a sexual situation with her and cant perform, at least she will know the reason rather than think herself to blame.
Also, if shes as awsome as you say she is, she will be very supportive of you. And a supportive partner can really help the recovery process, it really super speeds it up!
So just be honest and open with her as im sure she deserves it, and you can soon enjoy slamming the shit out of her without any erectile anxiety.

F- man.
 
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