prp
Member
Okay, I have wanted to do this for a long time, and so this entry might be long. First I will introduce myself a little bit. I am almost 37 years old, and like most of you, started M around the age of 13. Of course it was mostly fantasy after finding a stash of magazines with my friends, or watching late night HBO at a friends house. Over the years, this escalated into renting R rated movies with sex scenes and then of course with the advent of high-speed internet things just got out of control. I am married, and have 4 children, and my use of P just about cost me my marriage about 8 years ago. You would think that that experience would be enough to kick the PMO addiction, and it did for a little while. In fact, I joined a P addiction group and things got better for a few months. Unfortunately, as has happened so many times in the past, small triggers led to bigger problems, and before I knew it, I was back at it again.
I have tried quitting PMO so many times in my past that I sometimes feel that it is an impossible battle. This site has really given me a lot of strength and resolve that I have never had in the past. I've always felt like PMO was not good for me, but just recently I have started to notice some PIED symptoms. My wife thinks I have been PMO free for eight years, and even though I know she would support me through all of this, I just haven't been able to bring myself to admit the problem to her again. I think I just can't handle the disappointment on her face. Anyway, I know that is a hurdle I will have to tackle soon. Anyway, she things that my ED problems are emotional, or that I am just having anxiety issues, but of course I know the truth, and the truth is that PMO has completely messed me up. I went and saw a doctor about 6 months ago and he gave me a sample of Cialus, but that didn't really do much. I love my wife so much, and we really have a strong sexual relationship, so this ED thing has really had an impact on both of us.
I'm so sick of P, and so many days I think of the things I have watched and done, and it repulses me. Yet, as much as i try and convince myself that P is disgusting, I somehow always wind up in front of the computer fapping to some stupid pixels on a screen. This journal entry is really the first time I have really expressed all of these things and I am really grateful for this forum. I am sick of my wife thinking that she doesn't do it for me anymore, and tired of starting to have sex with her just to have her get frustrated, angry and unsatisfied. This is the beginning of my new life, PMO and MO free.
I feel like there was more I wanted to say and maybe over time I will have some other insights into my life, but for now I just wanted to introduce myself, and seek support from this wonderful group! I started my counter, and right now, I am looking to do a 90 day reboot. My plan is to completely kick the PMO addiction, and regain a healthy sex life with my wife. I literally do hate P, and there is something inside me that tells me this is finally it. Thanks for all your support!
Here are a few stats about my PMO use:
-recently it as been at least once a day, sometimes more, and often times in the bathroom at work with my iPad (sad, i know!)
-my triggers are typically boredom, having no one around, or just stress
-this has been a struggle for almost 20 years
-the longest I have gone without PMO or MO is roughly a year, typically I make it about a week or two when trying to stop in the past
I have tried quitting PMO so many times in my past that I sometimes feel that it is an impossible battle. This site has really given me a lot of strength and resolve that I have never had in the past. I've always felt like PMO was not good for me, but just recently I have started to notice some PIED symptoms. My wife thinks I have been PMO free for eight years, and even though I know she would support me through all of this, I just haven't been able to bring myself to admit the problem to her again. I think I just can't handle the disappointment on her face. Anyway, I know that is a hurdle I will have to tackle soon. Anyway, she things that my ED problems are emotional, or that I am just having anxiety issues, but of course I know the truth, and the truth is that PMO has completely messed me up. I went and saw a doctor about 6 months ago and he gave me a sample of Cialus, but that didn't really do much. I love my wife so much, and we really have a strong sexual relationship, so this ED thing has really had an impact on both of us.
I'm so sick of P, and so many days I think of the things I have watched and done, and it repulses me. Yet, as much as i try and convince myself that P is disgusting, I somehow always wind up in front of the computer fapping to some stupid pixels on a screen. This journal entry is really the first time I have really expressed all of these things and I am really grateful for this forum. I am sick of my wife thinking that she doesn't do it for me anymore, and tired of starting to have sex with her just to have her get frustrated, angry and unsatisfied. This is the beginning of my new life, PMO and MO free.
I feel like there was more I wanted to say and maybe over time I will have some other insights into my life, but for now I just wanted to introduce myself, and seek support from this wonderful group! I started my counter, and right now, I am looking to do a 90 day reboot. My plan is to completely kick the PMO addiction, and regain a healthy sex life with my wife. I literally do hate P, and there is something inside me that tells me this is finally it. Thanks for all your support!
Here are a few stats about my PMO use:
-recently it as been at least once a day, sometimes more, and often times in the bathroom at work with my iPad (sad, i know!)
-my triggers are typically boredom, having no one around, or just stress
-this has been a struggle for almost 20 years
-the longest I have gone without PMO or MO is roughly a year, typically I make it about a week or two when trying to stop in the past
