Hi,
As many here, I am reading those forums and writing this message due to some problems. As there are lots of information and so much to read its often hard to navigate and concentrate on something specific. Thats why I am hoping to get some advice of what to do with my problems.
I am 27, and was watching a lot of porn, from something like 16 years. My habits fit many descriptions - multiple tabs, moving to more and more hardcore stuff.
My problems:
Distraction
I noticed with girlfriend from few years ago, that I was not that much into her sexually, even thought she was attractive. I was still watching porn and masturbating, almost but never to her.
Desire
I was left by girlfriend (relationship of half a year but no sex) few years. Before her I had high sexual desire, fantasizing, especially at night/morning in bed, always had erection in the morning... But after she left me I was a bit depressed and remember my sexual desire going down very noticeably and I was even thinking that its a good thing, it would help me go through this depressing period.
I also noticed finding women not so hot anymore.
Emasculation
Before and during my relationship above I already was a bit into cuckold theme porn/stories. But after breakup and some depressing period where I was sad in general that it is hard to find girlfriend, those fantasies seemed to change angles, I was finding myself more and more in submissive not-in-control role. To the point that I think part of me started to believe that this is reality and only kind of relationship possible in real life.
Getting Hard
More like a year ago I realized I have trouble with getting hard, until that point I always were pleasing myself and not haven't noticed that I cannot get hard without hands. Or very heavy thoughts or stimulus or in-the-morning (but usually there were thoughts involved).
Current situation
I am basically not watching porn anymore for more than half a year, also tried avoiding masturbation for about two months few times. But this seems not to be solving my issues.
I still have decreased sexual desire in general.
I still don't often get hard by myself even in the mornings. But its somewhat hard to accurately test (this in itself can cause anxiety) due to no-porn and rare real life opportunities. Also on those rare real life opportunities its hard to test since there is combination of anxiety: simple lack of experience, thinking if I'll manage to get hard. When I get hard I need to concentrate on it since its very easy to loose it just by thinking about something else.
I still am attracted to those submissive fantasies and its probably best way to get erections actually although I try to catch myself and stop those thoughts.
So I am not sure how to go about this. This all seems to be related - depressive periods, decreased desire, submissive fantasies, problems getting hard and so now I am in this interrelated situation where it seems that only canceling porn won't do the trick.
So I am basically asking for some help, guidance, maybe someone was in similar situation, basically anything.
Thanks.
As many here, I am reading those forums and writing this message due to some problems. As there are lots of information and so much to read its often hard to navigate and concentrate on something specific. Thats why I am hoping to get some advice of what to do with my problems.
I am 27, and was watching a lot of porn, from something like 16 years. My habits fit many descriptions - multiple tabs, moving to more and more hardcore stuff.
My problems:
Distraction
I noticed with girlfriend from few years ago, that I was not that much into her sexually, even thought she was attractive. I was still watching porn and masturbating, almost but never to her.
Desire
I was left by girlfriend (relationship of half a year but no sex) few years. Before her I had high sexual desire, fantasizing, especially at night/morning in bed, always had erection in the morning... But after she left me I was a bit depressed and remember my sexual desire going down very noticeably and I was even thinking that its a good thing, it would help me go through this depressing period.
I also noticed finding women not so hot anymore.
Emasculation
Before and during my relationship above I already was a bit into cuckold theme porn/stories. But after breakup and some depressing period where I was sad in general that it is hard to find girlfriend, those fantasies seemed to change angles, I was finding myself more and more in submissive not-in-control role. To the point that I think part of me started to believe that this is reality and only kind of relationship possible in real life.
Getting Hard
More like a year ago I realized I have trouble with getting hard, until that point I always were pleasing myself and not haven't noticed that I cannot get hard without hands. Or very heavy thoughts or stimulus or in-the-morning (but usually there were thoughts involved).
Current situation
I am basically not watching porn anymore for more than half a year, also tried avoiding masturbation for about two months few times. But this seems not to be solving my issues.
I still have decreased sexual desire in general.
I still don't often get hard by myself even in the mornings. But its somewhat hard to accurately test (this in itself can cause anxiety) due to no-porn and rare real life opportunities. Also on those rare real life opportunities its hard to test since there is combination of anxiety: simple lack of experience, thinking if I'll manage to get hard. When I get hard I need to concentrate on it since its very easy to loose it just by thinking about something else.
I still am attracted to those submissive fantasies and its probably best way to get erections actually although I try to catch myself and stop those thoughts.
So I am not sure how to go about this. This all seems to be related - depressive periods, decreased desire, submissive fantasies, problems getting hard and so now I am in this interrelated situation where it seems that only canceling porn won't do the trick.
So I am basically asking for some help, guidance, maybe someone was in similar situation, basically anything.
Thanks.