So here is my success story so to speak. I first decided a few days in to the new year that I wanted to give up porn and I came across this website. I watched a lot of videos on the topic and read the articles about the dangers and how it can rewire your brain etc. So I decided to give it a go. It wasn't easy. I told a friend who laughed at my absurdity and said "You can't beat a good porno" and "Are you supposed to no give up something that is bad for you?". Basically he wasn't very comfortable with me talking about it. So it's now March and here I am. I haven't watched Porn since then.
When I first started out I wasn't in the best of places to be honest anyway. I got these intense feelings over the first week or two. I often felt very horny and hormonal. I felt this wave of energy just take me over sometimes in the shower and felt the urge to release, but I would not. I went on for about 3 weeks before one day giving in to temptation and masterbating, BUT, not to porn. I felt a bit disappointed, but when I went on to NoFap and saw an article that said that it wasn't an anti-masterbation website I felt a little bit better as it did say that the whole idea is to stop masterbating to Porn and that jerking off was not a relapse if it wasn't done to Porn. So I went again another few weeks without jerking off before doing it again in the shower. It felt good, but often that little voice would say "oh you're useless at this, you failed" but I would say to myself and counter that argument, "But at least I didn't do it with porn."
So I have been unable to abstain from Masterbating. I do it maybe once a week or twice on weekends, but that's ok for me. I was never a heavy PORN user, but I was a user. I feel a lot better about myself nowadays that when I masterbate I do it not to porn, and it's not a very impulsive thing it's more about how I am feeling at the time.
There is something empowering about knowing you don't need porn to get it up or jerk off anymore. I am not perfect of course, but it's still a good feeling to shut that voice in your down by saying "I didn't do it to porn". It was perhaps my own stimulation and often I am not fantasizing about porn, but more about what a real life situation might be, or sometimes I am not fantasizing at all.
I have been on to a porn site a few times, but I didn't jerk off. I went to the site just to see how it felt and it didn't really bother me. I did get a bit excited, but I refrained from watching anything. For me, I get turned off as I think of myself watching those videos online and being all dirty about them. That image kind of puts me off watching porn these days. Also knowing I can masterbate if I want is really good too as I know I can give myself a release. I only do it once, twice a week tops so I am cool with it all. And when I do I don't have that disgusting feeling or that quickie feeling afterwards. I get that warm fuzzy feeling afterwards, a bit like what you might get after having sex with a lover. Or what I'd imagine it be like having sex with a lover cause sex with a lover almost felt a bit empty before.
I am now at a stage where I have forgotten about how I used to watch Porn. I just came back on to this site as I thought it would be interesting to read other success stories and thought, you know what? What I've achieved is great. I've been dealing with depression as well and haven't had a real major depressive slump in about 4 weeks so I am very pleased about that too. I am not too sure if it's connected or not, but who knows. I have been living a rather withdrawn life socially, but it's all small steps so hopefully little by little I will improve.
I used to think to myself, "Well if I don't have a GF and I am not getting any action then what's the harm in watching Porn?" Well now I think different. I'd rather not watch Porn and save myself for a real beauty because it's all fake anyway and who wants the fakeness?
My mind does not really gravitate towards porn these days and I am happy about that. I still think about sex though and I have started to wonder if what I am feeling now is a healthy libido. Only time will tell how it goes.
When I first started out I wasn't in the best of places to be honest anyway. I got these intense feelings over the first week or two. I often felt very horny and hormonal. I felt this wave of energy just take me over sometimes in the shower and felt the urge to release, but I would not. I went on for about 3 weeks before one day giving in to temptation and masterbating, BUT, not to porn. I felt a bit disappointed, but when I went on to NoFap and saw an article that said that it wasn't an anti-masterbation website I felt a little bit better as it did say that the whole idea is to stop masterbating to Porn and that jerking off was not a relapse if it wasn't done to Porn. So I went again another few weeks without jerking off before doing it again in the shower. It felt good, but often that little voice would say "oh you're useless at this, you failed" but I would say to myself and counter that argument, "But at least I didn't do it with porn."
So I have been unable to abstain from Masterbating. I do it maybe once a week or twice on weekends, but that's ok for me. I was never a heavy PORN user, but I was a user. I feel a lot better about myself nowadays that when I masterbate I do it not to porn, and it's not a very impulsive thing it's more about how I am feeling at the time.
There is something empowering about knowing you don't need porn to get it up or jerk off anymore. I am not perfect of course, but it's still a good feeling to shut that voice in your down by saying "I didn't do it to porn". It was perhaps my own stimulation and often I am not fantasizing about porn, but more about what a real life situation might be, or sometimes I am not fantasizing at all.
I have been on to a porn site a few times, but I didn't jerk off. I went to the site just to see how it felt and it didn't really bother me. I did get a bit excited, but I refrained from watching anything. For me, I get turned off as I think of myself watching those videos online and being all dirty about them. That image kind of puts me off watching porn these days. Also knowing I can masterbate if I want is really good too as I know I can give myself a release. I only do it once, twice a week tops so I am cool with it all. And when I do I don't have that disgusting feeling or that quickie feeling afterwards. I get that warm fuzzy feeling afterwards, a bit like what you might get after having sex with a lover. Or what I'd imagine it be like having sex with a lover cause sex with a lover almost felt a bit empty before.
I am now at a stage where I have forgotten about how I used to watch Porn. I just came back on to this site as I thought it would be interesting to read other success stories and thought, you know what? What I've achieved is great. I've been dealing with depression as well and haven't had a real major depressive slump in about 4 weeks so I am very pleased about that too. I am not too sure if it's connected or not, but who knows. I have been living a rather withdrawn life socially, but it's all small steps so hopefully little by little I will improve.
I used to think to myself, "Well if I don't have a GF and I am not getting any action then what's the harm in watching Porn?" Well now I think different. I'd rather not watch Porn and save myself for a real beauty because it's all fake anyway and who wants the fakeness?
My mind does not really gravitate towards porn these days and I am happy about that. I still think about sex though and I have started to wonder if what I am feeling now is a healthy libido. Only time will tell how it goes.
