How do I help her understand

[quittingtime]

Long story short, I told my girlfriend about my problem recently as it's come up in bed multiple times. I feel like she hates me and that makes me want to hate myself. I want her so badly to understand what I'm going through. She will hardly talk to me. Does anyone have any advice or possibly reading material that will help a partner understand?

Thanks in advance.

 

[sodonewithit]

Read and share all the stuff linked here.  She's gonna be pissed and should be, you've been jerking when you should've bee  shagging.  From this point forward it's either no porn and jerking or say goodbye.  If in a month things haven't changed downstairs neither have you.  Move over to the other sections of  the board, start a thread and become accountable to both her and yourself.  Looking here on how to make her understand is totally the wrong way.  Good luck bud.

 

[quittingtime]

Your post did not help. The tough love thing is great for some, but I need some encouragement. I know she's mad, and I'm mad at myself. I think you misunderstand me... I'm trying to (going to) change but there also needs to be understanding on her part. Not possible to force that and even if it were, I wouldn't.

 

[Steam rolled]

she needs to understand Porn is addictive to even begin to try to understand its you not her and that you are a better person.
And this is not easy to grasp as a female.

If like me at the time of discovery NOT confession hating you and or being mad and or BOTH right now is not necessarily the end of the world,because if she didn't care  she would not be in the bed with you or just BE GONE! ( as Ive seen happen)

Let her feel her feelings and at the same time if you cant say how you feel verbally or without conflict then write them in a letter a hand written not computer typed letter and tell her how much you care and sorry you are , as you sound like you are.
Daily letters helped me! And that was unlike my SO to write letters.
Now i think its therapeutic for him and he may not even see that his time he used to PMO he is now using to write feelings. Win win

Right now i bet she is shocked and devastated, whether its shown threw sadness or anger.
And you created this so by taken action you are trying to fix it and by her seeing that maybe- but not over night will come around.

But in some cases sorry fellas sometimes its to late!

Hope in your case its not.
Good luck!

 

[sodonewithit]

I didn't mean to jump on you.  It might be that I am further into the reboot but this isn't about getting her to understand.  It certainly helps to try and have her read but remember that you are implying that for some time you have been relentlessly doing damage and she doesn't care if you were unaware of the negative effects.  Like above give her some space and time as she will either come around or not.  It's just black and white now but if it all ends in total disaster you can't go back to the pixels. 

Again good luck, please join the other side of this forum and use the resources.