It's time to give an update.
I'm hundred days in and this has been a pure nightmare. I wouldnt wish this to my worst enemy. Whats more difficult is that i dont know if there is other underlying issues. But this is my story:
Autumn 2014 i started to have strange pain back of my knees, calfs and foot soles. I thougt it was some kind of back problem, but my back was fine. I also started to have some nettle rasch on my legs. I went to an doctor and all bloodwork was fine except a slightly elevated thyroid. I was to retake does tests six week later. I did and now it was first week of january. It was even more elevated but still not that much. I didnt feel tired and all that sort of stuff that you can feel with hypothyroid. I immedatly stoped porn. I felt there was an link somehow. I wanted to stop PMO so bad all winter cause i am now i father since one month ago and i didnt want to be addicted anymore.
Anyhow i was prescribed 25 mg levaxin (synthroid) for my thyroid and i took those pills. (i so regret it). I started to fel anxous almost immedalty, but i thought it was withdrawals, and maybe it was, who know.
My girldfriend didnt know anything about my pmo about that time. Two weeks in of PMO free she gave me an blowjob, i also medicated for two weeks. I orgasmed, and that night some six hours after i had a terrible panic attack and strange cramps in my rectum. Togheter with diarrhea I was in total panic. It eased of after a night but was still present a couple of days.
I started to develop problems with my left legs, it was like it was weaker. My problem with my knees and feet last winter was always a little worse on my left side.
The days went by, i had panic attack, porn dreams, wet dreams. horrible anxiety i got worse and worse. I started to have inner tremors, nobody else could feel them. Buzzing feelings in my legs and arms. Extreme reflexes and jittery.
I was scheduled to make another thyroid test after 8 weeks on the med. My values where now fine and they thought that i should eat those pills to the end of summer. NO FUCKING WAY.
I red on the internet and i had every toxic side effect of those pills that you can imagine. I was hyper. This togheter with porn withdrawal. I cannot tell what was what. I stopped and changed doctor. After two weeks my internal tremors subsided. And i went into severe depression and fatigue, i went suicidal. I didnt even hade the energy to fetch a glas of water standing in front of me.
Now my leg problems had spreaded to my back and i have difficult to walks. I also started to develop strange random pain in my body which started to spread in my body. It is like my nervous system are stuck in hyper.
After my hyper and right before depression my girlfriedn gave birth to my son. It was terrible cause i was so weak i couldnt stand up. i was in severe panic and when it was al over i totally crached and went into this depression. There where days i felt so heavy that i could barely walk.
My new doctor started to make all different kind of blodwork. My thyroid values are fine two weeks after med, although i have some raised antibodys (TPO 130)
I was x-rayed in my back, i have no definecy, no infections, everthing is fine. My values are actually great. But i am a mess. My eyes started to give my vision problems. Pain spreaded, i was sure that i devoloped prostate cancer which had spread, i deveopled severe hypocondric disorder and was totally convinced that i would die. Totally!
Now i begin to see some light in the tunnel. I'm exhuasted and have anxiety. I battle grand lethargy. And brain fog. But sometimes i start to feel slightly normal. I still have problems walking and od pain in joint and muscles everywhere in my body. I'm scared that i have trigged some reumatism and/or fibromyalgi. I cannot feel hunger at all. And my stomach is bloated.
During this 100 days i did O three times in the middle, cause i had the weiredst pressure. First O a huge amount of prostatis liquid came out togheter with som strange lower spine pain, no sperm at all. Second O some sperm. Third O sprem but hardly any pressure. I had my prostatis examined both with blood test (PSA) and with a doctor finger. Everything is fine.
I have had problem not to fantasize. But sometimes my brainfog was so severe i could even conctruct any sexual fantasy. When i was convinced i was dying i started to browse hot girls on Instagram.
I really dont know what is what and i'm taking it day by day. I right now cannot sleep very well.
I used to be an heavy user severel times a day almost all days in the week. I've been addicted in 18 years. Not this bad to begin with though. And my genres of porn is unspeakable twisted.
I'll give an medal of honor to my girlfriend who hasent left me.
I do hope i will recover. But sometimes i dont know.
Feel free to ask or cheer.
I'm hundred days in and this has been a pure nightmare. I wouldnt wish this to my worst enemy. Whats more difficult is that i dont know if there is other underlying issues. But this is my story:
Autumn 2014 i started to have strange pain back of my knees, calfs and foot soles. I thougt it was some kind of back problem, but my back was fine. I also started to have some nettle rasch on my legs. I went to an doctor and all bloodwork was fine except a slightly elevated thyroid. I was to retake does tests six week later. I did and now it was first week of january. It was even more elevated but still not that much. I didnt feel tired and all that sort of stuff that you can feel with hypothyroid. I immedatly stoped porn. I felt there was an link somehow. I wanted to stop PMO so bad all winter cause i am now i father since one month ago and i didnt want to be addicted anymore.
Anyhow i was prescribed 25 mg levaxin (synthroid) for my thyroid and i took those pills. (i so regret it). I started to fel anxous almost immedalty, but i thought it was withdrawals, and maybe it was, who know.
My girldfriend didnt know anything about my pmo about that time. Two weeks in of PMO free she gave me an blowjob, i also medicated for two weeks. I orgasmed, and that night some six hours after i had a terrible panic attack and strange cramps in my rectum. Togheter with diarrhea I was in total panic. It eased of after a night but was still present a couple of days.
I started to develop problems with my left legs, it was like it was weaker. My problem with my knees and feet last winter was always a little worse on my left side.
The days went by, i had panic attack, porn dreams, wet dreams. horrible anxiety i got worse and worse. I started to have inner tremors, nobody else could feel them. Buzzing feelings in my legs and arms. Extreme reflexes and jittery.
I was scheduled to make another thyroid test after 8 weeks on the med. My values where now fine and they thought that i should eat those pills to the end of summer. NO FUCKING WAY.
I red on the internet and i had every toxic side effect of those pills that you can imagine. I was hyper. This togheter with porn withdrawal. I cannot tell what was what. I stopped and changed doctor. After two weeks my internal tremors subsided. And i went into severe depression and fatigue, i went suicidal. I didnt even hade the energy to fetch a glas of water standing in front of me.
Now my leg problems had spreaded to my back and i have difficult to walks. I also started to develop strange random pain in my body which started to spread in my body. It is like my nervous system are stuck in hyper.
After my hyper and right before depression my girlfriedn gave birth to my son. It was terrible cause i was so weak i couldnt stand up. i was in severe panic and when it was al over i totally crached and went into this depression. There where days i felt so heavy that i could barely walk.
My new doctor started to make all different kind of blodwork. My thyroid values are fine two weeks after med, although i have some raised antibodys (TPO 130)
I was x-rayed in my back, i have no definecy, no infections, everthing is fine. My values are actually great. But i am a mess. My eyes started to give my vision problems. Pain spreaded, i was sure that i devoloped prostate cancer which had spread, i deveopled severe hypocondric disorder and was totally convinced that i would die. Totally!
Now i begin to see some light in the tunnel. I'm exhuasted and have anxiety. I battle grand lethargy. And brain fog. But sometimes i start to feel slightly normal. I still have problems walking and od pain in joint and muscles everywhere in my body. I'm scared that i have trigged some reumatism and/or fibromyalgi. I cannot feel hunger at all. And my stomach is bloated.
During this 100 days i did O three times in the middle, cause i had the weiredst pressure. First O a huge amount of prostatis liquid came out togheter with som strange lower spine pain, no sperm at all. Second O some sperm. Third O sprem but hardly any pressure. I had my prostatis examined both with blood test (PSA) and with a doctor finger. Everything is fine.
I have had problem not to fantasize. But sometimes my brainfog was so severe i could even conctruct any sexual fantasy. When i was convinced i was dying i started to browse hot girls on Instagram.
I really dont know what is what and i'm taking it day by day. I right now cannot sleep very well.
I used to be an heavy user severel times a day almost all days in the week. I've been addicted in 18 years. Not this bad to begin with though. And my genres of porn is unspeakable twisted.
I'll give an medal of honor to my girlfriend who hasent left me.
I do hope i will recover. But sometimes i dont know.
Feel free to ask or cheer.
