How goes it?

[Gracie]

I noticed that my forum friends that are partners of PAs have not posted for a while.  I hope this means all is well with you all.  For the first time in three years, I made a spontaneous decision to go to a conference that was 3 hours away and required 2 nights hotel.  (Rather my boss did)  But I did not crash and burn in the pit.  YAY!

Also when I went to see grandkids for a week, my husband had bought cards and put them in an envelope. (I did not know)  I had to give the envelope to my oldest granddaughter who then saw to it that I got one card each night.  He did this to help me feel secure while I was away.  It worked.  It truly is the little things that are the glue!

How is everybody else?

 

[jkkk]

I am very happy for you, Gracie You and your husband have really worked it. It's a great example of the power of together.

 

[Steam rolled]

Wow gracie that is so great to hear and wonderful of your husbands accomplishments and doing what it takes to make you feel secure thats so immportant!!!

Things have been going good here my husband is on 1 year free of porn hell, and he calls it hell!!
I have my ups and downs ( PTSD ) and brocken trust is a tough one to over come as you know, really its the main thing , because im a good woman and a pleaser unlike that trash load of pixels..haha!
Also im  less and less thinking that a nice jesture has a motive behind it  or that im being tricked.
EVERYDAY i get a note hand written when he goes to work, but he tries to stay with me as much as possible, he cant even stand the guys he has  be around. Now he see's men in a totally different light, degrading of woman he is so against! Its like a major flip in the past year and I love it!
Really wish more men would do the same , cause they are doomed if they dont!!
I can literally see the PA in a crowd and the decent guy its just crazy what we have learned and is so noticiabe once one is aware. Wow!

Ive backed off from here alittle beacuse i caught myself getting down and out and sad reading some of the others experiences and difficulties giving this fake for money man hood destroying garbage up and it brought me down. So i backed off.
But stopped by to check on you mainly and chicka and a few other guys who unknowingly to them make me proud !!
i think chicka  is gone ????and i wish she wasnt cause i was concerned for her.
Shes a strong girl to.
I hope all of you are being powerful and staying strong for LOVE!!!

DO IT!!

Xoxo SR

 

[Gracie]

Sr,  Great to hear form you.  It sounds like you are doing well.  This month marks 3 years past date of discovery.  I would have to say the first year was the hardest.  the broken trust takes the longest to work through.  I do not care what men say about addiction etc.  The biggest issue is they broke our trust in them. 

I too can get down from reading.  We read what men say about wives being not sexy enough or they don't like sex or they like ogling etc.  And our first instinct is:  Does our husband feel this way and what the hell else is he hiding.  And I too get upset at the narrow view they have or the fact they would not be here if they could view and not have ED.  Their wife feeling like shit is not a good enough reason but ED is.  Go figure.  We just have to remember our husbands did it for us. 

Yes chicka was having a tough time and it is always hard to lose a poster and not know why.  And you are right there are amazing men doing this for all the right reasons and they disclose to their wives and work through it together.  They will last.

Love is the answer.  If you love someone, do the Dr. Phil test, "Would you do this with your husband/wife standing beside you?"  If not, do not do it.  Such simple advice. 

Men:  Do this for love, do this for you, do this for your wife, do this for your children,  DO THIS because you can!

 

[chickaboomski]

Nawww, you guys!!!
I deleted my account, I was and still am having a tough time picking my battles that I have the energy to fight. I really don't know where I am at right now. With so much to focus on and keep going in just life in general I got worn. Having said that, I found I had to return to where I had support of those who get it. I have acknowledged I have a huge battle in front of me of my own. I have acknowledged that this is something he had before my time, and I don't really know his full potential, I fell in love with half a man from the get go, so with that knowledge I know we have something to fight for. You lovley ladies sharing and caring are for the most part the reason I gave us a shot, and the reason I came back. I need this space to be understood. One day I hope to be like you sharing the journey from the other side encouraging others that it is possible. You guys all ROCK!!! Xx

 

[Steam rolled]

Congrats to you and your SO gracie on this tough journey! You guys prove love can be very powerful!!
Thanks things are good, not great good, days i wonder if i have just become the porn replacement
Its every night and just like a PA i have to run the show, so worried he is going to get bored with me, or he might even get me bored with him,I don't have a data base full of filth to fall back on thats how it feels sometimes, not sure if its in my head or not.
Because he is trying so hard to be a good man and i applaud him for that often.

His response is he wants me to know he wants me and cant get enough of my love and affection but with years of porn affection always leads down the same road!!!!
O i don't know, O i just don't know!
BUSTED TRUST - who are you?what do i believe? what is real and whats fake?
Do i even want to wake up tomorrow?

Chicka we are here for you, its sounds like your in a tough situation either way you look at it and that sucks! The tough woman you come across to be it seems that maybe its time that will work it self out, its the time in between that im sorry for you for once a day take a chicka moment to just relax and forget everything even its for a short time. Must!

I stand by this in order for things to improve in any situation though.
Men/ husbands need to be Woke up and get educated that there precious porn is really evil life sucking trash!
And how about before the dick dont work?!?! think of the person who is there in REAL LIFE for you everyday!!
Woman are becomeing more and more aware and we dont have time to play cat & mouse!

Maybe if men werent so mean to each other they would help each other?? Put the ego down and help a fellow man, like Gabe and other MEN are doing!
Who cares if the other guy looks at you like you are crazy ....ha ha ha Whos really the crazy one!
Who will be the next man crying to the other man O she left me!
But in reality they left her long ago !!!!

Wake up!

 

[sodonewithit]

I didn't want to join this thread as I felt it was a group which I wasn't for but....in response to SR's comment I can hardly wait for the day I am strong enough and mentally finished such that I can share.  Doing it here is great and  very rewarding but I'm sure a good number of my friends could use this also.

Thanks for allowing me to share this area of the site, while a guy might muddy up the waters you ladies have been pretty cool.

 

[Steam rolled]

I didn't want to join this thread as I felt it was a group which I wasn't for but....

You are welcome we are a " team " of people trying to take bits and pieces or more of others experiences and pain and put it together in hopes to get better!

I hope men read what we have to say in hopes something may help them understand what we woman feel, it may be hard for some to grasp or they may not like it but O WELL this isnt easy for either side!
And  Sugar coating gets us know where.

muddy up the waters- its funny you say that and a shame that it angers me that i backed off from men due to My own issues with my SO and P most of my friends are men and they would come to me for advise or someone to listen. men used to be fun.
They know something is wrong just not what.
So just like you when i heal more i will maybe come back around, and i know for a fact a few have a problems with this very thing.
Unfortantly  one i know its to late she left, he has threatened suicide and now in trouble with the law.
Ive grown cold i guess and just focused on my own husband, everyone else is on there own while we sort ourselves out!
Distanceing ourselves from others has helped us.

 

[sodonewithit]

You have to look out for number one and the rest are just the rest.