90 Days: Round 2

[Mal]

I was successful in my 90 days with no PMO. This is the longest length of time, in a long time, that I have gone without viewing porn and using it to masturbate.

To those struggling, keep fighting. Find something to hold onto that will help you in your process of recovery. Whether it is faith, a spouse, loved one, or the goal itself use it as fuel. Avoid the triggers and replace problematic behaviors with healthy ones.

I am going to attempt another 90 days and will up the ante a bit. I have recently begun to exercise again and am trying to lose around 15 pounds and get my cardio health better. I've been eating healthier, spending less money on eating out, and have been cooking more at home. I have some personal goals I'm adding and hope to make some progress there.

Round two, fight!

 

[Mal]

Just had a relapse. Made it 98 days and now this. Didn't binge just didn't have my defenses up and got lured away. I know it's not the end and I know that in those 98 days my brain has done a lot of rewiring but I feel like shit because I didn't stay strong. Now in going to have to be extra careful not to give in again the next few days to the chaser effect... So demoralized.

 

[fnatk]

Damn, sucks that you lost your 98 day streak but take it as an opportunity to learn what you did wrong. Was there a trigger involved? It sucks resetting your counter so, I'd perhaps wait a few days and just remember the fact that you've actually gone more than 90 days free from PMO! Let yourself hit day 101 and take that time to refocus, bingeing is NOT what you want to do, trust me.

I've been trying to reboot for 3 years and I've mostly gone on binges after relapses and they can go on for months and months if you let all the negative thoughts get to you.

Stay strong and think of the positive fact: You were PMO free for 98 days, that's 98 days where your brain has been healing itself from the damage this addiction has caused. If this was a broken leg, you'd think 98 days of work at a rehab center was pretty damned good!

 

[Mal]

Thanks for the encouragement and I wish you success in your own process. Gotta reset the counter and start again. If I made it 98 I can do it again.

Im not sure what the trigger was this time, probably due to some financial stress regarding my upcoming wedding and preparing to move into a new apartment. Possibly it was just me feeling the urge as I hadn't masturbated either during the 98 days. Need to take extra care now not to binge relapse. Hopefully it won't undue the effort I put into rebooting these pat few months.

 

[Mal]

I haven't posted in a few weeks so here's an update. After my relapse I was able to get back on the wagon. Was a struggle but was able to do it. Was PMO free since then.

I got married yesterday and I was really really nervous since the last time I tried to have sex was a few years ago and it ended in failure. My wife is really kind and helped ease my nervousness. Things went well and my body responded and was able to perform.

So glad I started this process and am glad recovery is going well.