mookie6092
Member
Not sure if I am writing this for the benefit if you guys, or for myself, or maybe for a little of both, but here goes....
I've been using Internet porn for around 13 years. Before that, from the age of about 14 I would sneak the old man's vids and mags out when I was in the house alone, so porn has been a part of my life for in the region of 20 years.
Had issues with copulatory ED for most of my twenties, and occasionally in my late teens, though that may have been confidence, or drink/drugs related.
I sort of figured by the age of 27-28 that if I laid of the porn, I found it easier to get erect with less "stimulation" (e.g. after a month I could get off by watching the kind of porn you'd see on terrestrial TV, instead of having to look at Internet based porn).
However, I did not make the connection between Internet porn and ED.
I had suffered with anxiety and issues with confidence and worry since my teens. I'm not entirely convinced it was ALL porn related, but, based on what I have read, and for how long I have used porn, there is a fair chance the anxiety and porn are related.
I had a 4 year relationship where I suffered with ED from the beginning. My ex found it very upsetting, but stuck with me. She found it even more upsetting that I used to use porn to get off. She took it very personally, which, with hindsight, I can sympathise with, very much.
Come 2009, we split up. Apart from the sex, other things weren't right, and if I am perfectly honest, regardless of the ED issues, I had lost my attraction to her, and perhaps her to me, given the issues.
A few months later, I met the "woman of my dreams". Instant attraction, both physical and intellectual, loads in common, what felt like a very deep connection.
FFW 2-3 months and guess what happened.
I spiraled, my mental health issues, which I had just about held together (despite the odd anxiety attack) worsened significantly.
After 5 months or so, visits to the doctor, visits to a sexual therapist for my ED, a course designed to help people with stress...I diagnosed myself with OCD, having read articles on teh Internet.
Went back to the doctor, was referred to the local mental health clinic, who agreed with my diagnosis, and took me on as a patient.
After a few sessions, I was released, and was doing pretty well.
The ED went away, and I had a girlfriend. I think that it went away because using porn was too painful with the OCD, so having inadvertently given up porn, I improved.
Several relationships over the next few years were pretty successful. The occasional issue with ED, but not nearly as bad as before, just general one off events.
It was then, circa Jan 2013 that I happened across www.yourbrainonporn.com.
My eyes were opened and I was amazed at how much what I read coincided with what I had experienced.
I managed to give up porn for some 6 weeks or so, and my erections returned during copulation, and was more or less OK for a year or so.
Come Nov 2013, I began having issues again.
Even though I had been using porn on and off since I discovered the issue (after the initial period of abstinence) without much issue, I guess it got heavier again, despite my knowing how damaging it is.
Perhaps not being able to have sex over the past few months made it worse, as it was my only release, despite having a really lovely lady who I had intimacy with, but couldn't achieve erection.
Since Jan this year I had been trying to give up. I tried to stay away from porn, but allowed myself to masturbate to my imagination, thinking this would work. Perhaps over time, it would, but I think doing so very much increases the healing time, and I would always end up going back to porn, even after avoiding PMO for say a week. I would MO, then a couple of days later think "fuck it", and PMO.
I made a decision 3 weeks ago today to can it.
I have had a couple of close calls since, and had one sexual encounter (not penetrative) where I did cum, but have managed to avoid MO and PMO.
What I have found to help (and please, if anyone has any advice to the contrary, I would love to know if this has turned out to be bad for them) is actually thinking and fantasising about REAL sex, mainly that I have had with ex girlfriends, and achieving erection whilst thinking about them, but not orgasming. Not even really masturbating.
I have come to find that after 3 weeks I can bring myself to erection in the morning, whilst still in bed, purely through fantasy, but during the day, I need quite a bit of fantasy, and to use my hands to get erect, and it takes a little while.
Over time, I hope/think that just fantasy will provide enough stimulation.
I did find, the last time I gave up that just being in the company of a woman I knew I was going to have sex with was enough to get me fully erect.
Thanks for reading.
Good luck!
I've been using Internet porn for around 13 years. Before that, from the age of about 14 I would sneak the old man's vids and mags out when I was in the house alone, so porn has been a part of my life for in the region of 20 years.
Had issues with copulatory ED for most of my twenties, and occasionally in my late teens, though that may have been confidence, or drink/drugs related.
I sort of figured by the age of 27-28 that if I laid of the porn, I found it easier to get erect with less "stimulation" (e.g. after a month I could get off by watching the kind of porn you'd see on terrestrial TV, instead of having to look at Internet based porn).
However, I did not make the connection between Internet porn and ED.
I had suffered with anxiety and issues with confidence and worry since my teens. I'm not entirely convinced it was ALL porn related, but, based on what I have read, and for how long I have used porn, there is a fair chance the anxiety and porn are related.
I had a 4 year relationship where I suffered with ED from the beginning. My ex found it very upsetting, but stuck with me. She found it even more upsetting that I used to use porn to get off. She took it very personally, which, with hindsight, I can sympathise with, very much.
Come 2009, we split up. Apart from the sex, other things weren't right, and if I am perfectly honest, regardless of the ED issues, I had lost my attraction to her, and perhaps her to me, given the issues.
A few months later, I met the "woman of my dreams". Instant attraction, both physical and intellectual, loads in common, what felt like a very deep connection.
FFW 2-3 months and guess what happened.
I spiraled, my mental health issues, which I had just about held together (despite the odd anxiety attack) worsened significantly.
After 5 months or so, visits to the doctor, visits to a sexual therapist for my ED, a course designed to help people with stress...I diagnosed myself with OCD, having read articles on teh Internet.
Went back to the doctor, was referred to the local mental health clinic, who agreed with my diagnosis, and took me on as a patient.
After a few sessions, I was released, and was doing pretty well.
The ED went away, and I had a girlfriend. I think that it went away because using porn was too painful with the OCD, so having inadvertently given up porn, I improved.
Several relationships over the next few years were pretty successful. The occasional issue with ED, but not nearly as bad as before, just general one off events.
It was then, circa Jan 2013 that I happened across www.yourbrainonporn.com.
My eyes were opened and I was amazed at how much what I read coincided with what I had experienced.
I managed to give up porn for some 6 weeks or so, and my erections returned during copulation, and was more or less OK for a year or so.
Come Nov 2013, I began having issues again.
Even though I had been using porn on and off since I discovered the issue (after the initial period of abstinence) without much issue, I guess it got heavier again, despite my knowing how damaging it is.
Perhaps not being able to have sex over the past few months made it worse, as it was my only release, despite having a really lovely lady who I had intimacy with, but couldn't achieve erection.
Since Jan this year I had been trying to give up. I tried to stay away from porn, but allowed myself to masturbate to my imagination, thinking this would work. Perhaps over time, it would, but I think doing so very much increases the healing time, and I would always end up going back to porn, even after avoiding PMO for say a week. I would MO, then a couple of days later think "fuck it", and PMO.
I made a decision 3 weeks ago today to can it.
I have had a couple of close calls since, and had one sexual encounter (not penetrative) where I did cum, but have managed to avoid MO and PMO.
What I have found to help (and please, if anyone has any advice to the contrary, I would love to know if this has turned out to be bad for them) is actually thinking and fantasising about REAL sex, mainly that I have had with ex girlfriends, and achieving erection whilst thinking about them, but not orgasming. Not even really masturbating.
I have come to find that after 3 weeks I can bring myself to erection in the morning, whilst still in bed, purely through fantasy, but during the day, I need quite a bit of fantasy, and to use my hands to get erect, and it takes a little while.
Over time, I hope/think that just fantasy will provide enough stimulation.
I did find, the last time I gave up that just being in the company of a woman I knew I was going to have sex with was enough to get me fully erect.
Thanks for reading.
Good luck!
