S
sjanem
Guest
Here's a quick run down of my situ.
I am the partner of an addict who has not connected the dots yet. I did only 2 weeks ago. We have been together for 5.5 years. There are kids in the house.
I thought it was "normal" to m to p once in a while too. Until I woke up. 2 weeks ago he asked me to leave the bedroom so he could have "alone time" to do it. (I'm 5'8", long golden blonde hair, green eyes, 145 lbs, hourglass build, 34 C...why would he NOT want this in the moment!) I knew right then and went searching...found this site on Google. Immediately, I knew this was him. And he is in deep. He's 28, and it has been since middle/high school for him.
I knew he did it but, I did not know the damage it'd done. We have had MANY bumps in the road over the years and now I see that they ALL stemmed from porn. We have talked about all his "issues" and he says "that's just me".
Sooo...I have come to realize he is totally oblivious that people can be addicted, that it can cause damage, and that he is suffering. SO, I presented all the info just like all of you on here have been telling me to do. I just let it all out. I talked for 30 minutes straight trying to get out as much info as I could about this issue. He stared and listened, blindsided.
He did not reply as I had hoped. He said that he "would think about looking at the website" and that I "could be right and that he might think about stopping". I actually got some feedback from Gabe on this site who said that he was surprised he even said as much as he did. So, good, I guess....?
When I confronted him Tuesday afternoon (today is Thurs) he was not happy. He was very angry. He began to defend his addiction. Denying it was a real condition, etc. He is still not 100% sold on the idea that it could be a real thing, and he still (to my knowledge) has not looked at the site or viewed any of the videos. I brought it back up today asking if he'd watch the videos and he still says "maybe but not now". Ugh!!!
Anyway, when I told him on Tuesday, it had been over a week since he had masturbated and just a little longer since watching porn. He typically only gets to once a week max because we are always around and he will onlty do it when noone is home. This is the reason he is moving out....because he can never be alone to do it.
So, just wanted to give an update. I did it. I laid it all out for him. He knows, that I know. I will let you know what transpires, if anything.
Thank you everyone for your support. This really needs to be made more public. This is real. I am actually putting together a plan to talk to the kids about this. (They are in high school). They do not know about what is currently happeneing, but I do feel that they should know about addictions. Not just porn, but all. We have a very open and honest communication household. I have an MS in communication so I know how IMPORTANT it is for ALL types of relationships in life to have open communication. Work, school, family, sexual, non sexual, etc.
I am the partner of an addict who has not connected the dots yet. I did only 2 weeks ago. We have been together for 5.5 years. There are kids in the house.
I thought it was "normal" to m to p once in a while too. Until I woke up. 2 weeks ago he asked me to leave the bedroom so he could have "alone time" to do it. (I'm 5'8", long golden blonde hair, green eyes, 145 lbs, hourglass build, 34 C...why would he NOT want this in the moment!) I knew right then and went searching...found this site on Google. Immediately, I knew this was him. And he is in deep. He's 28, and it has been since middle/high school for him.
I knew he did it but, I did not know the damage it'd done. We have had MANY bumps in the road over the years and now I see that they ALL stemmed from porn. We have talked about all his "issues" and he says "that's just me".
Sooo...I have come to realize he is totally oblivious that people can be addicted, that it can cause damage, and that he is suffering. SO, I presented all the info just like all of you on here have been telling me to do. I just let it all out. I talked for 30 minutes straight trying to get out as much info as I could about this issue. He stared and listened, blindsided.
He did not reply as I had hoped. He said that he "would think about looking at the website" and that I "could be right and that he might think about stopping". I actually got some feedback from Gabe on this site who said that he was surprised he even said as much as he did. So, good, I guess....?
When I confronted him Tuesday afternoon (today is Thurs) he was not happy. He was very angry. He began to defend his addiction. Denying it was a real condition, etc. He is still not 100% sold on the idea that it could be a real thing, and he still (to my knowledge) has not looked at the site or viewed any of the videos. I brought it back up today asking if he'd watch the videos and he still says "maybe but not now". Ugh!!!
Anyway, when I told him on Tuesday, it had been over a week since he had masturbated and just a little longer since watching porn. He typically only gets to once a week max because we are always around and he will onlty do it when noone is home. This is the reason he is moving out....because he can never be alone to do it.
So, just wanted to give an update. I did it. I laid it all out for him. He knows, that I know. I will let you know what transpires, if anything.
Thank you everyone for your support. This really needs to be made more public. This is real. I am actually putting together a plan to talk to the kids about this. (They are in high school). They do not know about what is currently happeneing, but I do feel that they should know about addictions. Not just porn, but all. We have a very open and honest communication household. I have an MS in communication so I know how IMPORTANT it is for ALL types of relationships in life to have open communication. Work, school, family, sexual, non sexual, etc.
