Wow long time no post. This essay like post is just a few changes I have made that seem to be really helping me at the moment. These are things that I've tried and help me, may not be right for everyone but what's the harm in trying? I hope this can help someone.
Some big improvements on my part. I have been working improving my own happiness. This has in turn helped me cut right back on PMO and to be honest I don't even think about it that much any more.
I now keep a journal. One way too personal to put on here. When I'm in a bad mood or have a thought that I think is worth keeping I get to it. It really helps to get a better understanding of your own thoughts. I feel that once I write how and why someone or something has made me feel bad, sad, angry, etc once its on paper I understand it better and most the time get over instantly. Helps to be less obsessive and to keep from worrying about things that have happened, or at least it does for me.
The next thing I have been doing is an exercise in positive thinking. When I think something bad I simply remember that I control what I think about and think about or do something else. It is strange at first but after a good bit of practice I'm finding that I'm having increasingly less negative thoughts and I'm having them less often.
Another part of this transition in to positive thinking is what I call my happiness list. Every day I add to a note on my phone something that makes me happy or that I am thankful for. I aim to add two things a day or more. I try to read it and recap as often as I can and I have really realised I have so many reasons to feel happy, sitting around feeling down is bullshit. I then try to re-read the anything I have put as often as I can, keep reminding myself of how good I actually have it.
The next thing I have been applying to my life is kind of like the film the yes man (average film at best, I don't recommend it unless you have nothing better to watch). The film does however raise a good idea. Say yes every time someone asks you to do something. Obviously that doesn't work all the time, but I have found that I end up much more socially involved, with old friends and have even made quite a few new ones thanks to generally being up for doing more social things whenever I'm asked.
A good confidence booster I have found is teaching myself how not to give a fuck. I'm still early days on it but I feel like I can see things in a better perspective. Here's the link from where I'm getting this from. http://www.reddit.com/r/howtonotgiveafuck. As I said I've not got much to say on this about results but I like it's potential. I'll say more about when I know if its helping me or not.
All of these things have been helping me. I still PMO at least once or twice a week, but my attitude is completely different. I'm genuinely happier doing all of this regularly. I don't really get urges like I used to while abstaining from porn. I barely even think of it as an issue any more as I'm focusing so intensely on happiness and positive thinking. That's why I haven't been on here for so long. When I do end up PMOing it tends to be an autopilot sort of thing, but I don't beat myself up about it, just say fuck it and carry on with life. Down from a minimum of three a day to one or two a week is insane improvement when you actually think about it. Reading through my last posts and thinking what a load of shit, I never followed through on anything I said I would. Feels great to actually be making changes instead of sitting around thinking about it.
Anyway that's where I'm at, still a way to go but I'm already more confident, positive and most importantly happy thanks to the above practices. I feel like I know myself better, weird to not really know how or why you feel the things you feel once you realise how elastic and controllable your own mind can be. I hope this can help someone (writing it helped me) and if you want to ask me anything please feel free.
If you have made it this far, thanks for reading and good luck!
