Breaking the cycle

[dhawaii22]

Hey guys,

Just a little about me, I'm 29 years old and I currently live in South Korea.  I'm originally from the states.  I've been watching P since I was about 12 years old.  Up until I was about 26 I saw no problem with it, but recently I've been going through ups and downs trying to quit.  I've managed to stop watching for a couple months at a time, but I seem to always relapse at some point.  The main reason I want to quit is because of the way it affects my relationship with my girlfriend.  I know my sex drive isn't what it should be and I know that it bothers her that I seem disinterested.  Putting her through any sort of pain is just not acceptable to me and I'm here so that I can bury this once and for all.  Another reason I want to quit is I did notice I was in a better mood and more confident during the periods I stopped watching.  I can't help the feeling of being dirty and guilty after watching P.

I look forward to posting here everyday to report my success and to cheering on my fellow forum members.  I know many of you guys are familiar with the neuroscience of the habit loop.  Have any of you figured out a workable substitute for viewing P?  I know my triggers, but I haven't found a good replacement behavior.  Please let me know if you guys have any ideas.  Thanks!

 

[CrazyGopher]

Two things that could possibly work for you are reading (from a book) or meditation.

I don't necessarily do one of these every single time I feel a porn craving (I think that is what you mean by a replacement behavior?), but I do end up doing a ton of reading and a little meditation just before bed now (historically that has been the most common time for me to use porn).

I'm not sure how long you've been without porn and porn-like (facebook, music videos, etc) stimulation. If it hasn't been too long, both of these suggestions may sound impossibly boring. You may even be feeling like these are stupid ideas that could never possibly work for you. If so, that's perfectly normal! I felt that way too. Unfortunately, our brains have to recover a bit before simple activities like these can feel rewarding and pleasurable again. A "fake it 'till you make it" period may be necessary.

 

[dhawaii22]

Hey man I appreciate the suggestions.  Meditation is something I've been doing and I'll try it the next time I hit a really big craving.  I've been off porn for exactly one day now .  Today went pretty smoothly.  I had one minor craving, but I was able to remember the commitment I had made on this forum and overcome it.