14 days no pmo

D

Dead-dong

New Member
I'm 44 and thought this may be the answer to my ED problems. I've used porn from a very early age, as a preteen and teen it was of course the mags. As I got into my 20's I would use videos every so often.  Than in my mid 30's I discovered internet porn.
For I'd say the last 5 years I've pmo at least twice a day to internet video porn. Than in the last year it's played a toll on my marriage. I can't get it up in bed and if I do it goes limp after a couple mins.
It's even gotten to the point that when I'd pmo it wouldn't even get hard so I'd have to ramp up the type of porn I was using in order to get it to get hard enough to masturbate. Some sessions would last two hours or more before I could o.
So now I'm on day 14 of no porn at all. No pmo, no o. I'm finding it somewhat easy to not view any porn and to not pmo. I'm not saying that it don't hit me like a ton of bricks from time to time but the need soon fades away. That's somewhat surprising because I use to pmo everyday and sometimes 2,3 even four times a day I guess you would call it a Beige.
Very little morning wood maybe  3 times in the last 14 days and than only like 40 to 50% at most. Feels like most the day I just feel numb there. Like it's dead and damn has it gotten smaller that part scares me to death cause I wasn't working with much to start with lol. If any of you guys have any advice I'd love to hear it.
 
S

savingmysoul

Active Member
hello DD,

I am 45, and in a similar situation.  I am currently 150 days free from P & M, and now 15 days no O.  My wife had her Dday on the 31st of December 2013.  This wasnt the first time she found out, but this time - through researching - i realized that i have an addiction. 

My wife is continuing to find the courage and the strength to continue to support me thru this, but it hasnt been easy for her.  We continued to be together, and shortly after Dday i started to have PIED issues - no response, good response, a half response, would respond and lose it fairly quickly.  We continued to be together when we could, and things seemed to get worse.  I am 15 days with no O, as we have decided to have me abstain for O'ing.  But even after 15 days I am still hit or miss - morning wood is back pretty consistantly some days are better than others.  I seem to respond better in the morning, but the evenings are terrible.  All the while, i very much wanted to be with my wife, mentally and emotionally i was there - but not physically.  Looking back i too was having issues before she found out, not getting to full strength, not responding at times - not knowing what i was doing to my brain.

I also have found that leaving the P & M behind has been relatively easy.  I have no use for it, dont want it, and really could care less.  For me all the P & M was the reason that i continued to lie to my wife and betray her trust and committment to me.  I don't want to be that person any more. 

All i can offer at this point is that is does get better - I personally am still struggling to get myself and my wife through this, but if you read thru all these forums and journals - you will find it will get better.  The real question is how long will it take.  It is different for everyone.  It is up to us to find that strength to continue to stay away from P & M forever, embrace that strength and take it one day at a time.

Welcome to the nation, you are not alone.  You can find help here. 

Let me know how you are progressing.

SMS
 
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