GOOD PROGRESS

[philkar41]

While small today I feel proud that have done a week without P.

It was not so easy, with temptation being around the corner every time logged on.  I have to commend this site for keeping honest via the accountability counter ( my competitive nature wanting to ensure that progresses well ...lol)
But most important is the stories here that one can relate to and are a great pick up me when on the verge of falling....Thanks....

One thing happened to me this weekend which would like to share.  I am a catholic ad normally do confession after my episodes.  I try to avoid my Parish priest as he is too judgmental and  drove about 20 kms to see an "anonymous" priest.  I still got a kind lashing but the advice given is all covered in this site.  Also the young priest asked me to help and pray for  others and I think this site does give me the chance...

Anyway enough about my bubbling on....today is a small win and hope to get the momentum going...

Cheers...

 

[philkar41]

http://youtu.be/kothPyoyvDE

Interesting video came across about sex slavery and human trafficking. Of note are the comments that as a porn user you are also contributing to the vice

Food for thought.....

 

[Bibbity]

Keep up the great work!!!  And yes even though porn vids are free, it comes with a very real price.

 

[philkar41]

Today is yet onother milestone on my journey and I do intend to go out and celebrate !!!!....I have done a month with no P  and making progress ... So my dear forum members  do toast one for me when you take a drink of the alcoholic kind or otherwise...lol...

Seriously though its been a hard month, thought it would be easy but little did I know----started off with a bang of NOT DOING PORN anymore derived from some guilty conscious of my act  a month back.As days passed the focus of just NOT DOING was not enough and went to some dark places many a times--but what helped was replacing the P habit with other habits like doing more exercises , taking new hobbies and reading /educating my self that much more....on the latter this site is GOD sent and there is so much to learn.......guess my brain is getting that much more interested in other things and looking at  P very differently. Its true what they say you do need a habit to break a habit.... I also do make it a practice to visit this site and read and re read some very useful and motivating articles now and then.


the upside...its great...my senses are like coming to the fore, my humanity and connection ability is being amplified....Sex is more about us not  just me....you notice the little things you take for granted--the sweat-the tear at the corner of the eye, the soft moan ......the warm embrace and getting lost in her eyes,its.... her.....its no longer just an extension of my fantasy....its different......

Anyway.....I was contemplating my relationship with the porn actors when have watched the porn and  there is no connection they are just some bodies that I would have  them perform for me various acts that get weirder as I click through . When comparing with main stream movies  l know something about the actors and actresses and that also becomes why I chose the movie....not so with porn... Qs coming to mind were like ....how much do we know about the women in porn?....how is their work environment?....how is their social lives?...what happens after porn?....would I date a porn star?.....what if someone close to me was one?....what if the roles were changed and I would be the one in the act and hundreds ogling in their "anonymous" gadgets and computers..???...what I am driving at is putting a human face to the "object" and see if our humanity and empathy out guns our basic instincts.... ..there is a video came across...it does contain lots of triggers but if you can mange it does communicate better the message trying to relate

http://youtu.be/PArANS_J25M

Here is to looking forward to the next 30 days

Peace good people.....be strong and keep the faith.....I intend to

 

[philkar41]

Something to help with the journey......some inspirational speech from one of my favourite characters rocky balboa...

Just replace the words "world" with P..........and if you believe in a higher power...I would imagine that is how a conversation with him would be....

http://youtu.be/_Z5OookwOoY

Success is not about never failing but about not giving up.....

I am keeping at it although know tough times are ahead before it gradually gets better

be blessed.....

 

[philkar41]

60 and counting ...phew....

nothing much to say. Still at it ....but don't feel as energised by the milestone....I continue to have some hang ups  over porn but not as often ......

My buddies aren't helping either sending me porn related stuff......I have to remind them of my commitment but they don't seem to take that seriously.....what to do....

Every time have walked that tight rope I remember this site and the many peers trying their best and I am like WTF....I will hold on for one more day...so far so good....

Lets see what my "3rd trimester" in my journey brings.....

Thanks everyone for motivating me even though you do not know it...you are all the unsung heroes..

have a good one...

 

[philkar41]

90 days done.....feels good for sure.....

Whats different now vs 90 days ago?........I am getting on top of keeping off P ;  the urge is still there but the reasons for not indulging are getting progressively stronger so on the balance much easier to keep off...

Success tips..... they are many top being visiting this site every time flirt with temptations and  some key ones being
1.  following the rule # 3  prescribed by SUPERSONIC... (ref his success story in this forum) . #3 has really worked for me

2. Increasing my awareness on the social vices created by the porn industry

3. Opting for real vs virtual relationships


I will set the goal for next 90 days to keep the fire burning;  as now feel JUST BEGINNING to get rid of this thing

Lets do this....

 

[aviator]

Awesome man! Can you tell us what you've found for benefits after 90+ days as far as feelings, moods, sexual feelings, etc?

 

[kivenboy]

good for u man!!

 

[philkar41]

Thanks guys for the encouragement....been away from the site for a while so could not respond sooner...

Still going strong......it does get easier as the days go.... I think the first 90 days were tougher than now, and my system is starting to wire different on pet peeves

some interesting article came across....http://thehundreds.com/porncousin/



Stay the course everyone.....its those small steps that add to the distance....

Laters....

 

[philkar41]

Hi Good people

Been a while since logged here.  Coincidentally have not thought and had any desire to engage in Porn related activity for the last two months

The proof is surely in the pudding that it does get better. Six months ago  I was in a different place and glad started the changes.

Hope my story inspires.......If I can you can.........

Lastly it all starts in the mind, if you think it then you do it.........neuter it at the thought and no action will result.

All the best........onwards with the journey to a year of freedom...

 

[Majky]

Hello Philkar 

Just for my curiosity , can you compare  your confidence level now, during reboot and before reboot ?

 

[philkar41]

Majky

Hi

While I have always been ok.ish on the confidence front.....I am just more sure of myself now vs before.

With more interests I have more content in my conversations;  with women I feel no pressure;  not starting relationships with an ulterior motive agenda and let that flow how it will.........so its easier to get by.

I have more energy too and thus able to do much more with my time. I think this small things add up to a newer more in touch me and thus more confident.

does that help?

 

[Majky]

Yes it helped.

I was interested because i was suprised when i thought about my no-PMO times(3years ago) and how things went easily with dating girls  before.

I am on my 28th day without PMO and really impressed with overall progress i already reached. I can't even imagine what it will be after 90 days.  8)

 

[philkar41]

onwards to a year....

after 3/4 of the journey...its getting better every day. I have not looked or had interest in porn and its substitutes for what seems like decades

rebooting does work

At this rate by about 1.5 years since I started the journey should be really good.

my bad about not being here often...will look to change that

cheers

p.s How do I delete a counter, tried to delete my first counter and ended up resetting it

 

[philkar41]

Today I experience what would be the danger of flirting with porn even after all those days.

Its very easy to get off the horse; starts with a link which you ignore--but the memories come flooding back, and easily tempted to indulge a bit......but before going through the full monty  was like WTF--no wayyyy!!!!!
??

The learning is that its not an easy journey and  while its only human to face temptation---the brain wiring for sure does take time to completely erase the past. Not to worry if don't see dramatic changes right away/(short term)  or have "permanent cure"

Keep at it---(doing the same here), each day giving me a different memory and used that  to regain my balance at the edge of the cliff..

cheers

 

[Osmosis]

Did you quit?