So...
First of all i apologise to all of those who happen to come to this post... English is not my native language and there is bound to be many spelling mistakes and/or clumsy sentences... i try though...
I'm going to confess some stuff that i would normally never say to a living being... things you can only say to a stranger on the web
First of all i'm 25... and a virgin... sort of...
I'm year and a half in a relationship with a girl i consider to be the greatest angel ever to descent on this earth. We've waited to have sex this long becouse of me, i was kinda scared and anxious when it came to it, and sge was always so understanding. when i finally got comfortable being naked with her and we tryed having sex i was never fully erect and when i thouhgt i was i went limp before i could penetrate. this happend once... then the second time.... and than the third time... and then i lost it...
She didn't worry about it and said that it didn't matter even if it happened another 100 times, but i was destroyed inside. I kept thinking i would never be able to have sex with her and it was one of the scarriest things imaginable. I want to be able to connect with her in this final, ultimate way.
naturally, i went googling...
I should point out that i was watching some forms of porn (first soft porn pictures, than hardcore videos... internet can be a bitch) since elementary school and started masturbating probably when i was 13 y. o. since then till now the longest i was able to abstain was 9 days. 9 days... in 12-13 years...
I stumbled upon yourbrainonporn... and i thing i found what my problem is...
i took the test and yup... i was positive for PIED :-[
That was 1 of June... and since than i decided i would not expose myself to porn nor would i masturbate so that i might come out of this half-life long addiction.
My biggest worry is how to tell my gf. I'm so worried that she may think it is somehow her fault, and it's not... i'm extremly attracted to her and she is my soulmate, i should be walking with a constant boner around her, and yet... she is very understanding but sometimes a spark of fear forms in the back of my head that tells me that she will grow tired of me and my problem... How did some of you people break the news to your significant others? i really am scared shittles to tell her.
anyways...
This is my 7-8th day of no porn and i seem to have no libido for the past 3-4 days...
my other question is... if it comes to possibility of sex do i try to go for it and risk another fail or do nothing?
any help from you fellow martyrs would be greatly appreciated..
it feels like "walking through the valley of shadow and death" thing
First of all i apologise to all of those who happen to come to this post... English is not my native language and there is bound to be many spelling mistakes and/or clumsy sentences... i try though...
I'm going to confess some stuff that i would normally never say to a living being... things you can only say to a stranger on the web
First of all i'm 25... and a virgin... sort of...
I'm year and a half in a relationship with a girl i consider to be the greatest angel ever to descent on this earth. We've waited to have sex this long becouse of me, i was kinda scared and anxious when it came to it, and sge was always so understanding. when i finally got comfortable being naked with her and we tryed having sex i was never fully erect and when i thouhgt i was i went limp before i could penetrate. this happend once... then the second time.... and than the third time... and then i lost it...
She didn't worry about it and said that it didn't matter even if it happened another 100 times, but i was destroyed inside. I kept thinking i would never be able to have sex with her and it was one of the scarriest things imaginable. I want to be able to connect with her in this final, ultimate way.
naturally, i went googling...
I should point out that i was watching some forms of porn (first soft porn pictures, than hardcore videos... internet can be a bitch) since elementary school and started masturbating probably when i was 13 y. o. since then till now the longest i was able to abstain was 9 days. 9 days... in 12-13 years...
I stumbled upon yourbrainonporn... and i thing i found what my problem is...
i took the test and yup... i was positive for PIED :-[
That was 1 of June... and since than i decided i would not expose myself to porn nor would i masturbate so that i might come out of this half-life long addiction.
My biggest worry is how to tell my gf. I'm so worried that she may think it is somehow her fault, and it's not... i'm extremly attracted to her and she is my soulmate, i should be walking with a constant boner around her, and yet... she is very understanding but sometimes a spark of fear forms in the back of my head that tells me that she will grow tired of me and my problem... How did some of you people break the news to your significant others? i really am scared shittles to tell her.
anyways...
This is my 7-8th day of no porn and i seem to have no libido for the past 3-4 days...
my other question is... if it comes to possibility of sex do i try to go for it and risk another fail or do nothing?
any help from you fellow martyrs would be greatly appreciated..
it feels like "walking through the valley of shadow and death" thing
