"What's your Why...?"

[Dimo77]

I am a 20 year old who is currently attempting a 2nd reboot. My first reboot lasted for one month, but by the time I reached that goal I began to "edge" with porn until giving in to the cravings and PMO'd.

I am currently two weeks into my 2nd attempt at a reboot, and after the first week I looked at porn but did not PMO. After that day I have not view porn since nor attempted to masturbate. There have been withdrawals which fluctuate in terms of intensity but I now have gotten back into surfing and seeking things to keep me occupied and resist the urge to view porn and masturbate.

The reason why I am attempting this again is I need to cut this bad habit out of my life and start "living" again. I know that has many different meanings to other people but this is why I am doing this. I have seen so many success stories on the YBOP website and through the help of the people on this forum I hope I am able to succeed.

I am aiming for 3 months as my short term goal, long term goal is to never PMO ever again.

What would be some tips and advise that you could offer that may help to reach my goals (from your own experiences)

Thank you!

 

[Anders]

Get yourself a little counter for your signature

I have relapsed loads, but find it helps to have the counter there as you physcially go in and reset it when you relapse. It's a physical act of starting again. I find having a shower then reseting the counter makes me feel ok about having slipped.

 

[Matthew074]

My advice from experience.

I've made it to 70 days twice. And both times when I relapsed, I kept relapsing for 3 weeks straight. Went like this.. initial relapse-to feeling like crap( because I just threw away 70 days and relapsed)- so I kept relapsing- Would then make it 3 or 4 days then slip into another cycle of relapses. Then make it a week and slip again into another cycle of relapses. Then after about 3 weeks of utter pain I couldn't take the emotional pain anymore then I fully recommitted again. 1 little quick harmless relapse is never that. Always leads to a vicious cycle IMO.

What's helped me in the past is a few major critical actions.  1) Have to get into a mindset of porn is not an option. Period. 2) Next, drastically change your environment. As Gabe says, it's easier to beat this when it's not staring you in the face. Get k9 web blocker for your phone and computer. Delete all your porn. Delete facebook. Rip off posters of girls in bikinis or anything that will spark your sexual interest. Stop listening to rap and/or any songs about sex. And the hardest part of my change was letting go of close friends. I had to stop hanging out with friends who only cared about girls for their looks and treated women as just objects. 3) The Law of Association= You are the average of the 5 people you hang around most. That includes your personality. 4) Lastly, replace your new found time with healthy habits and take up old/new hobbies.

This is what has helped me my first 2 runs. For my current streak, I have done what's stated + a few additional actions. I've gotten more leverage on myself this time around. I told my parents and other friends that I have an addiction and asked for their support. Also have a few accountability buddies too. And lastly I made a consequence for myself. I think this is key to quitting for good now. If I PMO again, I WILL eat a can of dog food! Man anytime I get an urge I go, "ICK" and think of that instantly, and find something else to do. And I honestly feel way stronger and clearer than my first two major runs. Probably because I have experience under my belt too, but I firmly believe if you don't have a consequence(that someone can hold you to), you will eventually relapse(whether it be 90 days or 1 year). I believe if you don't have a consequence for a relapse, then you are going on just will power, and will power always runs out. I truly believe if you wanna kick this for good you can't treat this addiction casually. If you treat this addiction casually, you will be a casualty. No best of luck for you. Luck is out of your control. Take control of your life because, ultimately, you are in total control. I KNOW you can make this happen! You are focusing on the WHY and not the WHAT. You're focusing on the OUTCOME and not the PROCESS, and that's what winners do. Raise your standards, make the commitment to do whatever it takes, and make it happen! Cheers.