Fantasizing: good or bad?
- Thread starter grego
- Start date
While it's perfectly natural, generally I find it's a good idea to avoid all sexual stimulation including fantasy while rebooting. The exception is actual human contact (although I hear if you have ED, it's best to avoid even that for a while). If you want that rush, why not go and talk to this lucky person? 
Incidentally I'd be interested to hear what other people have to say about the non-sexual fantasy.
Incidentally I'd be interested to hear what other people have to say about the non-sexual fantasy.
M
Mart71
Guest
I was fantasizing like crazy about my girlfriend in the beginning of my reboot and I am very satisfied with my recovery.
You want to go change yourself to being a man, who likes real women and has a healthy sexuality. Meaning you like women that are real and you actually talk to and woo and make your girlfriend/partner/sex buddy/wife. Something real and not just one-sided fantasy. So imo, all that is related to walking that path is OK, including having fantasies about them. Even sexual ones.
I should point out, that I do not believe the "monk phase" of a few months of abstinence and absolutely no sexual thoughts is needed in a reboot, if your main goal is no porn for the rest of your life and you actually manage to start living that way. You can rewire from day one of your reboot. And I assume you want to rewire with the person you are fantasizing about.
You want to go change yourself to being a man, who likes real women and has a healthy sexuality. Meaning you like women that are real and you actually talk to and woo and make your girlfriend/partner/sex buddy/wife. Something real and not just one-sided fantasy. So imo, all that is related to walking that path is OK, including having fantasies about them. Even sexual ones.
I should point out, that I do not believe the "monk phase" of a few months of abstinence and absolutely no sexual thoughts is needed in a reboot, if your main goal is no porn for the rest of your life and you actually manage to start living that way. You can rewire from day one of your reboot. And I assume you want to rewire with the person you are fantasizing about.
Bibbity
Active Member
You want to train your brain to be present during sex so fantasy by itself is ok but fantasy plus masturbation is not IMO. You will likely find that you need to fantasize during sex instead of being in the present moment. It really depends on you as an individual and your propensity towards fantasy during sex and how you can handle that. Your brain has a hard time distinguishing between real sex and imagined sex so keeping your encounters to real sex is always best. Masturbate to sensation alone will make you a better lover in the long run.