Hi everyone, im pretty new in this forum so forgive me if it has been posted several times before.
, i started with porn when i was 13 years old, i found a hidden porn magazine in my brother's room , i was shocked. After that, something changed in my brain, i started to seek for porn since then, as everyone knows there was no internet resource by that time so every time i had a chance i stayed watching tv till late hours trying to not get caught by my parents since the tv was in the kitchen. Several years after, i started to watch erotic/porn pictures with dial-up connection.. It sucked but i found it really more enjoyable than waiting till 3:00 AM . After that everything got more complicated, higher speed internet connection made me an slave of porn... Although i had many GF's i tended to get bored pretty fast. Besides of that, i suffer from anxiety and social phobia since i can remember. At the beginning i thought i was a really shy guy but after reading a lot from this site im starting to think that this "shyness" is no more than a sympthom of a deeply messed up brain. Apart from that i cant remember a non sex related moment of intense pleasure. day-day activities doesn't provide me any pleasure, i cant find anything enjoyable. Everything i start, i quit it 1 or 2 month later. Im pretty lazy and with no strenght of will.I think in woman like a sex thing and not as a person, i get intolerant really easy specially with my girlfriend. Its like everything she does annoys me and i get bored of what she has to tell me and of everyday activities with her too. As i can remember, this happened before with all my previous gf's i thought that was a matter that "the love is gone" but now im 29 years old and i can think that most of the time i was commanded by a brain telling me "what she has to say, i dont care, get me something that boost my dopamine levels" . Several years before i started to suspect that masturbation was no good, i had the feeling that somehow it was doing me wrong. 2 month ago, i found myself in the office bathroom watching porn on my cellphone and faping for about 1 hour or so, my boss was looking for me and noone knew where i was. I was doomed, completely slave and ruined by porn. After that, i decided to put an end to that nightmare. I dont know how i reached to yourbrainonporn.com and started to read all the content in there. I quit on porn, no more faping, i have installed a parental control software on my laptop, i try to not think about porn etc... I'm on the rebooting process, im on day 36 but lately i've found that i just dont want to be with my girl, its the same to me to be with her or to be somewhere else. I've lost my interest on her, like i dont care what she says or has to share, it just feels like i have no feelings for her, when i talk to her it's like talking to my boss, i get irritated, angered, i feel like i hate her, when im in bed with her, sometimes i feel attracted but there are days that i feel attracted to all ( included girls that i do not like ) girls but her. Is this part of the Withrawal period, the "flatline"?. I just dont want to hurt her anymore. i know she's having a rough time with me. Can anyone help me?.
I really really thank you all.