NEED advice/support .. i am literally dead..i cant feel a thing .not even orgasm

[lilnavadaa]

OK I'm scared now...
I think I might be dead ..or just im just in a terrible nitemare I can't wake up from and is getting a whole lot worse.
I'm numb as living hell.. I just pmo and couldn't even feel it..
I'm going though some horrible terrible social  anxiety..
I'm in my cousin house and I am literally scared.. scared of what..life going outside into the world ..scared of my cousins pretty friends.. they came into the room ..all my cousins friends ..and it was like I wasn't there they didn't talk or even look at me..
I can't take this life anymore ..how much longer must I suffer this..
I'm so incredibly lonely
I need lots of support guys ..the other day I was motivated now I'm in complete despair.
I HATE marijuana its just as much as a backstabber as porn!! Mixed together now is death for me! I am no longer alive inside ..there is no light in my life I cannot see..

I'm in chains a prisoner and the guards (urges) cone to me .. they are to powerful ..I can not escape.. HELP!! I'm dying over here!! Really need tons of support/advice/and help I'm sick! I'm 18

Porn will pay for this!!!!

God, help us!

 

[Un1111]

unfortunately it's going to get worse before it can get better and your going to need to start somewhere. There are a lot of things you can do, for one I would suggest you see a therapist, there's no doubt that you have a lot on your mind, and your going to need to share these thoughts and to understand them. Don't worry about how people see you, because it doesn't matter at all, you only need to focus on getting your life straight. All your problems are fixable, yes it will be difficult and no doubt, you'll go through hell to achieve it, but it's obviously going to be worth it. Right now focus on what you can do and one would be to get these addictions under control, to do these you'll need to know where you stand, because for you I can imagine that simply stopping porn isn't going to be easy right now. Don't get me wrong, you do need to stop, but don't pressure yourself so much. Anyway be straight and start opening up to people you can trust and get guidance. I hope your ok and I wish you the best of luck.