Hello fellow rebooters!
I’m now 5 and a half months hard mode into my reboot and at this point I thought it would be wise to ask for some advise. First off I’m going to briefly sum my reboot process so far – lets start:
I started my reboot at the very end of last year because of pied and related brain changes, which probably at least partly caused my low motivation, anxiety and so on. In the beginning I didn’t have any morning wood, no erections, non-existent libido. The morning wood started to come back about 1 month into my reboot, but it wasn’t even close to being fully erect at that time (~50%). Then at around month 2 I had a very sexual dream about a real girl I had liked and my libido come back for one day. E.g I got a very hard erection just by seeing a beautiful girl at a swimming bath. The next day my erections and libido went on a vacation again.
Fast forward a couple months and I have noticed that I have started to have really vivid dreams when I sleep enough (8-9 hours). I have read that dreams and REM sleep are triggered by dopaminergic activation in the brain so I count that as a good sign. The problem is that I now happen to wake up briefly a couple of times in the early morning (4 am, 6 am) before it is finally time for me to wake up. When I finally do wake up I usually feel extremely groggy and slightly depressed. I have also noticed that my morning wood isn’t as strong as a couple of weeks back (only 50%), while my night time wood is at full 100%. I also feel excessively sleepy during daytime and I often have to take a nap in the afternoon to feel fully rested.
Now recently I met a girl at my workplace and I noticed I got a semi erection just from talking to her. The very next day I saw her again I felt totally asexual again and hadn’t any interest in her. A couple of days forward again and we “accidentally” touch each other and I felt for the first time in years what must have been a hint of libido. There where a strong pull to just go up and talk to her and get to know her. I also started to get sexual fantasies for a couple of days but now my libido is lower again and I can’t get more that 25% erected by fantasy alone. Another thing that I noticed is that she started to flirt with me on the phone (nothing too sexual) and I immediately started to release huge amounts of precum. I also got slightly foggy afterwards. I really doubt this is how people normally respond in these situations. Finally I have also noticed that my flaccid penis looks slightly more full and that my balls aren’t as shriveled up as before.
This whole progress is really such a roller coaster ride. I actually have no idea where in the rebooting process I am at the moment and that’s why I decided to post here. Do you have any suggestions for me going forward? By the way, I have been doing no PMO/fantasy so do you thing I should continue to avoid sexual fantasy? I somehow feel that sexual fantasy sets me back slightly but I don’t know for sure. Or should I try to start rewiring with a girl even though I don’t feel like it most of the time? And do you think these symptoms stems from the brain rewiring itself? Any advise is welcome!
I’m now 5 and a half months hard mode into my reboot and at this point I thought it would be wise to ask for some advise. First off I’m going to briefly sum my reboot process so far – lets start:
I started my reboot at the very end of last year because of pied and related brain changes, which probably at least partly caused my low motivation, anxiety and so on. In the beginning I didn’t have any morning wood, no erections, non-existent libido. The morning wood started to come back about 1 month into my reboot, but it wasn’t even close to being fully erect at that time (~50%). Then at around month 2 I had a very sexual dream about a real girl I had liked and my libido come back for one day. E.g I got a very hard erection just by seeing a beautiful girl at a swimming bath. The next day my erections and libido went on a vacation again.
Fast forward a couple months and I have noticed that I have started to have really vivid dreams when I sleep enough (8-9 hours). I have read that dreams and REM sleep are triggered by dopaminergic activation in the brain so I count that as a good sign. The problem is that I now happen to wake up briefly a couple of times in the early morning (4 am, 6 am) before it is finally time for me to wake up. When I finally do wake up I usually feel extremely groggy and slightly depressed. I have also noticed that my morning wood isn’t as strong as a couple of weeks back (only 50%), while my night time wood is at full 100%. I also feel excessively sleepy during daytime and I often have to take a nap in the afternoon to feel fully rested.
Now recently I met a girl at my workplace and I noticed I got a semi erection just from talking to her. The very next day I saw her again I felt totally asexual again and hadn’t any interest in her. A couple of days forward again and we “accidentally” touch each other and I felt for the first time in years what must have been a hint of libido. There where a strong pull to just go up and talk to her and get to know her. I also started to get sexual fantasies for a couple of days but now my libido is lower again and I can’t get more that 25% erected by fantasy alone. Another thing that I noticed is that she started to flirt with me on the phone (nothing too sexual) and I immediately started to release huge amounts of precum. I also got slightly foggy afterwards. I really doubt this is how people normally respond in these situations. Finally I have also noticed that my flaccid penis looks slightly more full and that my balls aren’t as shriveled up as before.
This whole progress is really such a roller coaster ride. I actually have no idea where in the rebooting process I am at the moment and that’s why I decided to post here. Do you have any suggestions for me going forward? By the way, I have been doing no PMO/fantasy so do you thing I should continue to avoid sexual fantasy? I somehow feel that sexual fantasy sets me back slightly but I don’t know for sure. Or should I try to start rewiring with a girl even though I don’t feel like it most of the time? And do you think these symptoms stems from the brain rewiring itself? Any advise is welcome!