Tohuvabohu
New Member
Ok, Friends, here is my story, which is very typical.
Started at the age of 14 and quit at 38 after discovering Gary Wilson work and this website. Managed to withstand for 1.5Y but was away from home and wife for several months due to work, stressed with COVID changes and life uncertainty due to that so relapsed and proceeded with PMO for 14 months.
Noticing the degrading mood, concentration and family relation I quit 64 days ago. I already new where it all was coming from.
This time quitting was different. Previously I only had cravings and depression, This time I had the entire bunch of Psychic effects, such as severe anxiety, fear, panic attacks and aggression... Perhaps because I became more sensitive since my attempt try to what is happening in me.
The worst was the fear I experienced that came for no logical reason. The fear of death that physically felt in the solar plexus. Most difficult period was from 30 to day 45. On day 45 I was given some relief, just for an hour, so I could smile at last and dance with my daughter. From that day some improvements in my condition began, I can confirm that if I'd plot my mental condition it has a inclined saw shape, slowly going upward.
5 days ago I had nearly a psychedelic experience, I was outside and noticed that the grass has unusually vivid color, the one I've never seen before. I believe that's my serotonin comes to normal, just can't moor properly, since the brain is still damaged.
I do have a flat line, with unregular morning wood, which is not in the morning for some, but between 3-5 am. Only had sex once with my wife during this time, tried to be as sensual as possible to make absolutely different experience from MO.
Thank you all for posting your stories, they helped me the first time and they help me now. Feeling I'm not alone in this struggle is important
Cheers
Started at the age of 14 and quit at 38 after discovering Gary Wilson work and this website. Managed to withstand for 1.5Y but was away from home and wife for several months due to work, stressed with COVID changes and life uncertainty due to that so relapsed and proceeded with PMO for 14 months.
Noticing the degrading mood, concentration and family relation I quit 64 days ago. I already new where it all was coming from.
This time quitting was different. Previously I only had cravings and depression, This time I had the entire bunch of Psychic effects, such as severe anxiety, fear, panic attacks and aggression... Perhaps because I became more sensitive since my attempt try to what is happening in me.
The worst was the fear I experienced that came for no logical reason. The fear of death that physically felt in the solar plexus. Most difficult period was from 30 to day 45. On day 45 I was given some relief, just for an hour, so I could smile at last and dance with my daughter. From that day some improvements in my condition began, I can confirm that if I'd plot my mental condition it has a inclined saw shape, slowly going upward.
5 days ago I had nearly a psychedelic experience, I was outside and noticed that the grass has unusually vivid color, the one I've never seen before. I believe that's my serotonin comes to normal, just can't moor properly, since the brain is still damaged.
I do have a flat line, with unregular morning wood, which is not in the morning for some, but between 3-5 am. Only had sex once with my wife during this time, tried to be as sensual as possible to make absolutely different experience from MO.
Thank you all for posting your stories, they helped me the first time and they help me now. Feeling I'm not alone in this struggle is important
Cheers