Tryinghere
Active Member
Hey fellow old guys. I figure it's time to tell my story and ask if any of you have had any similar experiences. Looking for tips/advice.
I haven’t been keeping exact track of my days but I’m somewhere around 75-80 days no PMO. I’ve MO’d maybe 5-7 times to sensation during that period. Looooonnng story short I lost the ability to have sex with my wife. It took nearly 10 months to even discover what the problem even was. Viagra worked usually but not always. Once we targeted the problem we got to work on fixing it and regaining our once amazing sex life (and yes, not too long ago it was amazing).
Anyways, I went on hard mode. After about a month there were clear and noticeable changes. My dick was wider, longer, more normal looking. Monring wood came back. I began experiencing a sex drive again. Surprisingly to me, I became very emotional about my feelings towards my wife.....all of the feelings I feel towards her get overwhelmingly strong now. At some point in time between around day 30-40 we had sex, or she gave me oral every morning for 5 days. No viagra, no forcing an erection, no nothing.....just me and my wife. I was cured!!!! I felt my libido beginning to come to life and it began to feel natural to initiate again. After that, we had a bit of an unspoken miscommunication. She was unsure how to react to my newfound sex drive and a bit unsure what to do (she has had plenty of "let downs" in attempting to initiate only to get a limp dick in return). I took her confusion as a rejection of my desire and let it blackslide me a bit. No PMO, but I did MO probably 3 times that week. We had a long talk....our first REAL talk since this all started and got on the same page. She's a rock star. Completely supportive. Angry at the situation, but she understands how we got to this point and isn't angry with me. But, she does need me to be her man again..
Since then, I've been incredible nervous about sex in general. My dick has generally been dead and shrivelled, and it's been on my mind constantly. On Sunday we woke up and she gave me head in the morning to completion....no problem (morning time is easy for me because in my PMO days, I would wake up before the wife and kids and take care of my business). I assumed we may have sex later that night, so I took a viagra just to be safe. We did and it was no problem. We went to bed and somehow around 3-4am we found ourselves fucking again. We went for awhile and after 20 mins or so, my erection just vanished. I'm not too concerned about the fact I lost my hard on.....I had already went to completion twice that day. It made sense that I was just worn out. She wasn't too bothered by it either.
That said, I'm afraid my backslide sent me into a flatline as my dick just hasn't felt the same since. But I also felt it in my head too. My wife has needs that I've been unable to fill for almost a year now. I completely understand that there are other things I can do to please her that don't involve penetrative sex....however right now, she needs penetrative sex. She's not interested in oral, or toys or my hands. She's been incredibly supportive throughout this and I want to take care of her.
I'm interested to hear your stories about rewiring with your partner. We haven't had a normal sex life in a very long time and we both want to get that back. I can't wait until this is all just a memory. I'm not too concerned about rebooting anymore. I could care less if I see porn ever again. My wife is hot and we are completely sexually compatible. There's nothing I would want, that she wouldn't let me do. There's nothing she would want, that I wouldn't do. We enjoy the same things sexually. Losing the ability to be with her was enough motivation to never view pornography again.
What we're doing to rewire:
I generally sleep naked and I rub her back every single night. Since no PMO, I usually experience some level of erection here.
We're always very affectionate with each other and loving.
We get playful. We'll be watching television or something and she'll slide her hand down my pants and just mess with me for a little bit.
If given the time, I'll spend the morning before getting out of bed, holding her, kissing her, rubbing her, etc.
I've read a bunch of stories on here where guys have successful sex and then it seems they no longer have issues PIED. I've had successful sex a half dozen times (not by best performances mind you) and I'm not AT ALL confident I could get it up if she wanted to have sex right now. I'm pretty sure she wants to have sex tonight....it's 9:30 in the morning and I'll be spending the rest of the day worried about it....only to tell myself "stop worrying or you'll make it worse"....only to keep worrying about again immediately after trying to clear my mind.
Any tips on speeding up the rewiring process would be amazing. I'd love to see some similar stories of married guys who maybe thought they were on the right track only to suffer a set-back. And what you did to overcome it. I'm pretty sure at this point it's all performance anxiety mixed with flatline....no actual PIED involved.
I haven’t been keeping exact track of my days but I’m somewhere around 75-80 days no PMO. I’ve MO’d maybe 5-7 times to sensation during that period. Looooonnng story short I lost the ability to have sex with my wife. It took nearly 10 months to even discover what the problem even was. Viagra worked usually but not always. Once we targeted the problem we got to work on fixing it and regaining our once amazing sex life (and yes, not too long ago it was amazing).
Anyways, I went on hard mode. After about a month there were clear and noticeable changes. My dick was wider, longer, more normal looking. Monring wood came back. I began experiencing a sex drive again. Surprisingly to me, I became very emotional about my feelings towards my wife.....all of the feelings I feel towards her get overwhelmingly strong now. At some point in time between around day 30-40 we had sex, or she gave me oral every morning for 5 days. No viagra, no forcing an erection, no nothing.....just me and my wife. I was cured!!!! I felt my libido beginning to come to life and it began to feel natural to initiate again. After that, we had a bit of an unspoken miscommunication. She was unsure how to react to my newfound sex drive and a bit unsure what to do (she has had plenty of "let downs" in attempting to initiate only to get a limp dick in return). I took her confusion as a rejection of my desire and let it blackslide me a bit. No PMO, but I did MO probably 3 times that week. We had a long talk....our first REAL talk since this all started and got on the same page. She's a rock star. Completely supportive. Angry at the situation, but she understands how we got to this point and isn't angry with me. But, she does need me to be her man again..
Since then, I've been incredible nervous about sex in general. My dick has generally been dead and shrivelled, and it's been on my mind constantly. On Sunday we woke up and she gave me head in the morning to completion....no problem (morning time is easy for me because in my PMO days, I would wake up before the wife and kids and take care of my business). I assumed we may have sex later that night, so I took a viagra just to be safe. We did and it was no problem. We went to bed and somehow around 3-4am we found ourselves fucking again. We went for awhile and after 20 mins or so, my erection just vanished. I'm not too concerned about the fact I lost my hard on.....I had already went to completion twice that day. It made sense that I was just worn out. She wasn't too bothered by it either.
That said, I'm afraid my backslide sent me into a flatline as my dick just hasn't felt the same since. But I also felt it in my head too. My wife has needs that I've been unable to fill for almost a year now. I completely understand that there are other things I can do to please her that don't involve penetrative sex....however right now, she needs penetrative sex. She's not interested in oral, or toys or my hands. She's been incredibly supportive throughout this and I want to take care of her.
I'm interested to hear your stories about rewiring with your partner. We haven't had a normal sex life in a very long time and we both want to get that back. I can't wait until this is all just a memory. I'm not too concerned about rebooting anymore. I could care less if I see porn ever again. My wife is hot and we are completely sexually compatible. There's nothing I would want, that she wouldn't let me do. There's nothing she would want, that I wouldn't do. We enjoy the same things sexually. Losing the ability to be with her was enough motivation to never view pornography again.
What we're doing to rewire:
I generally sleep naked and I rub her back every single night. Since no PMO, I usually experience some level of erection here.
We're always very affectionate with each other and loving.
We get playful. We'll be watching television or something and she'll slide her hand down my pants and just mess with me for a little bit.
If given the time, I'll spend the morning before getting out of bed, holding her, kissing her, rubbing her, etc.
I've read a bunch of stories on here where guys have successful sex and then it seems they no longer have issues PIED. I've had successful sex a half dozen times (not by best performances mind you) and I'm not AT ALL confident I could get it up if she wanted to have sex right now. I'm pretty sure she wants to have sex tonight....it's 9:30 in the morning and I'll be spending the rest of the day worried about it....only to tell myself "stop worrying or you'll make it worse"....only to keep worrying about again immediately after trying to clear my mind.
Any tips on speeding up the rewiring process would be amazing. I'd love to see some similar stories of married guys who maybe thought they were on the right track only to suffer a set-back. And what you did to overcome it. I'm pretty sure at this point it's all performance anxiety mixed with flatline....no actual PIED involved.