reboot_8716
Member
New to this forum, was on reddit for a while but found some of it to be more trouble than its worth.
I (30m) have been a heavy user of pornography for several years (Since I was a teenager), and for a long time never really thought it was a problem. I struggled with performance anxiety as a young teen, but did manage to overcome it for a number of years in college and was pretty regularly sexually active with my then girlfriend. I used porn but not excessively at the time.
As I got older and settled down into marriage I found porn increasingly as a way to bury any relationship struggles that I had. Particularly as intimacy moved away from the honeymoon phase I found myself having a lot of pent up sexual frustrations which I took out by using pornography, instead of communicating with my wife. Well now my performance anxiety has come back worse than ever before, along with premature ejaculation as well. I can very rarely get it up and sustain an erection, and in the times that I do I often cum within 30 seconds or less. Even if my wife is just giving me a hand job, I can't last more than that. I believe it's because I got into a habit of frequently rubbing one out as fast as I could, and trained my brain to respond to sexual stimulation by rushing to ejaculation.
I've tried ED meds and they've worked sometimes, but I find now that I am so anxious I can't get out of my head during sex and even with them, the same problem happens. We tried penetrative sex last week (And I took a cialis) and I was hard, then got soft, and then when she started trying to get me hard again I basically came at the same time my erection returned, before being able to enter her. It's incredibly frustrating because I think back to when I was in my early 20s and I could not only easily get an erection, but I could pretty much go as long as I wanted. I'd regularly have sex that lasted more like 15-20 minutes, going through multiple positions and never even thinking about it, it just all worked. Now Im an anxious wreck, I can't even do missionary, and even if I try solo masturbation, I have to either keep up rigorous stimulation to stay hard (in which case I'll also cum super quick), or I lose it.
I'm 17 days now without any porn and I have zero desire to look at it, but I also feel like I'm experiencing the flatline. I haven't completely quit sexual stimulation, but my libido isn't very high either. I've tried mindful masturbation a couple of times, forcing myself to not rush the process, and have done the same with my wife. But I'm getting zero morning erections, and even if I feel aroused my dick is completely soft.
I'm hoping this starts to improve, but I know that no matter how bad this gets porn can't be the answer, so i'm not looking back to that.
I (30m) have been a heavy user of pornography for several years (Since I was a teenager), and for a long time never really thought it was a problem. I struggled with performance anxiety as a young teen, but did manage to overcome it for a number of years in college and was pretty regularly sexually active with my then girlfriend. I used porn but not excessively at the time.
As I got older and settled down into marriage I found porn increasingly as a way to bury any relationship struggles that I had. Particularly as intimacy moved away from the honeymoon phase I found myself having a lot of pent up sexual frustrations which I took out by using pornography, instead of communicating with my wife. Well now my performance anxiety has come back worse than ever before, along with premature ejaculation as well. I can very rarely get it up and sustain an erection, and in the times that I do I often cum within 30 seconds or less. Even if my wife is just giving me a hand job, I can't last more than that. I believe it's because I got into a habit of frequently rubbing one out as fast as I could, and trained my brain to respond to sexual stimulation by rushing to ejaculation.
I've tried ED meds and they've worked sometimes, but I find now that I am so anxious I can't get out of my head during sex and even with them, the same problem happens. We tried penetrative sex last week (And I took a cialis) and I was hard, then got soft, and then when she started trying to get me hard again I basically came at the same time my erection returned, before being able to enter her. It's incredibly frustrating because I think back to when I was in my early 20s and I could not only easily get an erection, but I could pretty much go as long as I wanted. I'd regularly have sex that lasted more like 15-20 minutes, going through multiple positions and never even thinking about it, it just all worked. Now Im an anxious wreck, I can't even do missionary, and even if I try solo masturbation, I have to either keep up rigorous stimulation to stay hard (in which case I'll also cum super quick), or I lose it.
I'm 17 days now without any porn and I have zero desire to look at it, but I also feel like I'm experiencing the flatline. I haven't completely quit sexual stimulation, but my libido isn't very high either. I've tried mindful masturbation a couple of times, forcing myself to not rush the process, and have done the same with my wife. But I'm getting zero morning erections, and even if I feel aroused my dick is completely soft.
I'm hoping this starts to improve, but I know that no matter how bad this gets porn can't be the answer, so i'm not looking back to that.