Recent content by professor13

Day 25 I've been talking with my therapist once a week. I've not really had the same kind of desire to look at porn as I did before. The cam sites have been less appealing lately. I'm starting to wonder if it was porn that I needed, or if I just wanted to connect with women. I don't go to the...

Day 18 I've managed to stay away from porn more than normal with occasional slip ups. But it's not the daily thing it used to be. So I guess that progress is progress. I had a talk with my mom and she's dialed back the calls and given me some space while still being supportive. I've been getting...

Day six... we'll call it. The past few days haven't been perfect. A few slip ups here and there, but overall I've been go to the cam sites less and less. It's kind of rough time for me. I went to the doctor about the melanoma yesterday. They are referring to the cancer as intermediate now...

Keep fighting the urge to go and check in on the sites. I'm in that moment of the day where I'm tired, but my wife is still at work. If I wanted to be discrete, I could. So I'm typing here instead, hoping that the moment will eventually pass. In a weird way the cancer diagnosis is helping in...

Day four Had some success last night. So that's something to celebrate. I'm well rested today, and feeling a little bit better. Decided to experiment with a new drawing program today. Art is very meditative for me and provides me with a good escape from all the things that seem to be in flux...

Thanks, I appreciate the support. Reading messages like this make it easier to forgive myself for these slips. I think the guilt is part of the problem.

Day Three 11:18am Relapsed immediately after posting last night. I'm so frustrated with myself. There is so much going on in my life on top of trying to quit, I just feel incredibly overwhelmed. Job hunting, cancer diagnosis where I'm being passed around from doctor to doctor (I'm on doctor...

I've been drawing more and more lately as a means of getting my mind off of P. Here is one that I did today. I pulled it from a video game that I've been playing as research for a game company I hope to work for one day.

I should note that my wife knows about my porn addiction, it's the type of porn, ie cam sites that I haven't shared with her. If I'm being completely honest, sometimes it feels like I need more attention than any one person can give. It so easy to login to the site and say hello to someone who...

I think I'm going to try posting. It's really good to see people sharing their thoughts on my experience here as well. Thanks for that.

Day Two. Another day, an another struggle. I went the cam sites again today. I didn't do anything while I was there. I did check in with a couple girls there, and then left. I'm not sure if that counts as a completely porn free day, but I left before I felt any urges to do more than just say hi...

Day One. I'm not sure where to start. I'm about to turn 42. I've got a bad case of ED. I left my job in February and the new one didn't pan out like I had hoped, so I lost any sense of structure I once had. Too complicate this even more, I've got ADHD, which really benefits from having more...