Recent content by rafael92

Relapsed again tonight. I am aware that I am doing something bad during the relapse. But yet the urge takes control of my body. I become possessed by the opportunity to watch porn and jerk off again. I think there is only one explanation: I am weak. I come from a family where there is...

Hello, friends. I'm trying not to beat myself up, but the truth is that, since my last post, I have relapsed twice. When I'm at my lowest, wallowing in my failures, I can't help but feel like this isn't the real me. As if this isn't supposed to be who I am. A bit of bad luck and reckless...

Hello, everyone. Dropping by to share that, by now, I've been free from porn for 68 days. However, I'm not sure if it's time to celebrate. For the past couple of days, I've felt particularly tempted to try taking a small look at porn again. I don't feel like my life is going particularly well...

Thank you! All true. It is amazing what a man can accomplish once he starts feeling human again. I've also been following your thread, and your course is inspiring. Congratulations on almost 350 days free! What a champ.

Thank you, man! The more intense a workout is, the more endorphins and feel-good chemicals are released in your body. Because, according to evolution and nature, humans were initially supposed to be very active animals. We're naturally wired to feel good when we start moving, running, and...

Hello, friend. I'm still free from porn since August 7th. Things are starting to look up in my life. I was selected and hired to work on a research project at a university during this month of September. The project is also meant to be a formative experience, so I am learning a lot of...

Hello, friend. I'm still going strong. But I realized I might be dealing with withdrawal symptoms. They might explain the funk I've felt over the past few days, which got gradually stronger up until yesterday. Two nights ago, I had a rough time. Couldn't fall asleep for the entire night. And...

We've all been there. You can do this, brother!

Hello again, friend. As I mentioned previously, I'm feeling slightly down (although probably not as much as I used to in the past). I realized I gotta be careful with this moment. This temporary funk can weaken my mind and lead me towards a relapse, which would eventually trap me in another...

Hello, friend. I am still going strong since my last post. No relapses. For those of you who are interested in learning more about my story, I recently published a short memoir about my life-long struggles with mental health on Medium. I didn't feel like bringing up the addiction much in that...

Hello, friend. I have not relapsed since my last post on August 7th, but I decided to stop counting days for now. I am starting to feel like a new man lately, and I want to destroy every remnant of my previous life of weakness. That was the old me. Stressing about the number of days I've been...

Hello, friend. Relapsed again last night. Watching porn makes me feel like a subhuman being. I always looked at my porn addiction in the context of the problems and traumas I had in my life. But I'm starting to consider that, despite that personal baggage indeed sometimes serving as a...

Hello, friend. After being free from porn and masturbation since July 27th, I just relapsed tonight. I was feeling really better this week until now. There was a palpable improvement. I moved to a new gym where now I have 3 Muay Thay classes per week. I have also been taking my workouts more...

Day 1 free from porn. Having a Muay Thai class right after a relapse SUCKS. My brain was so unfocused and foggy that I couldn't even tell right from left when the instructor told me to do something. But as I was walking away, back home, all sweaty, however, a vision came into my mind. I...

Hello, friend. You've probably noticed that I haven't posted for a few days. Guess what happened? I relapsed. Twice. The last time was just a couple of hours ago. I've been in a really dark place lately. My self-hate, loneliness, and overall anger have been overwhelming. Sometimes I have to...