Recent content by TJRL

Day ten of my media fast is in the books. I have tremendous energy. It is 445AM and I am at my desk working. I have masturbated a few times in the last week, but no porn. Just to explain, my media fast looks like this. No television. No social media. Since I live alone, I do watch Youtube while...

Sorry I've been away. I decided to do a full media fast. I am 9 days in and feeling amazing. Days 4 and 5 were a little sketchy, but I held my ground. Now it is 2AM, can't sleep and tempted by my favorite social media site. I know there is dopamine there. I know also I will have to lie to the 5...

I've noticed that as I have gotten older, I don't have the resilience I did as a young man. If I eat the wrong food for breakfast, it kicks my ass the rest of the day. If I PMO, it kicks my ass the rest of the day. Carrying an extra 30 pounds was not a problem. But now it is an anchor around my...

There is a part of me that wants the stimulation of social media, which will lead within an hour to PMO. I have to remind myself this is purely the addiction talking. It is saying: There's nothing to see here. Pay no attention to me. Edging to social media will feel so good. Then comes the...

The last couple of days have been hard. A lot of stress. My secret to success is no edging. It is not more complicated. Keep my dick under wraps. And Yippee!!! the addiction is gone. That's it. Don't take the first drink.

Porn free 8 days. It feels like a breaker has been tripped. I feel sexual urges, but not for porn. I think I finally got the message that it is all an addiction and an illusion. Like most, over time, my porn use took me farther and farther into the shocking and extreme. But that is not me. I'm...

During this morning's meditation I remembered the secret to my business success. It is proactively being part of something bigger than myself. I had a reputation. I had clients. I could walk with my head held high. But on reflection, so much was wasted because I was never really there. PMO was...

Finanacial stress made me anxious the last 12 hours, but I transmuted that energy this morning into work on a new business opportunity. When I started my business career, I told myself that if I failed in business, I would become a writer. Well, I had a modicum of success in business, and now...

I got a good idea. I found out I can turn my phone to grayscale instead of color. Less triggering for everything. Also my primary reason for using porn lately has been my love for my girlfriend who happens to be in Australia. I rationalized that PMO was an expression of love for my girlfriend in...

Thanks for reading my case. I didn't think anyone would. Yes, I need to get a blocker. I understand K9 is good. I'm on here because I don't want to do another 12 step program. I am in one now and it keeps me as busy as I want to be with it. I do need to stay clean now. I'm working out and...

This afternoon I took the one look. Unexpectedly I received a message from a former girlfriend with pics. Then some artwork popped up on my browser. Then step by step I searched for my favorite category. I took the first drink.

I hate that porn addiction is so beguiling. I want to PMO to show my love for my girl. I want to express love and feel loved. That is a perfectly natural way to feel. But porn is poison. It is just like taking the first drink as an alcoholic. One drink, and I am off to the races. One look at...

I guess I am good. I have a girlfriend who is 8,000 miles away. I miss her. I want to feel physically loved, but now it is not possible. I work and work out daily. That is good. But the only way I achieve my goals is to earn more. I started a 5 year journey to become a writer in the summer of...

I have been daytime sober for 5 days. I say daytime sober because last night I woke up and masturbated. This morning I am feeling the urge, but also committed to change. Maybe journaling is what I need to keep sobriety at the front of my mind. I know from other addictions that the urge will...

My name is Tim and I am an internet porn addict. I found my way into nofap as a result of PIED. Years of sex with my hand looking at porn destroyed my ability to orgasm during normal sex. Porn induced erectile disfunction, impotence is my reward. I am the roach with the beer bottle, isolated in...