Journey To Nirvaana !!!

A

AJM

Active Member
Night of day 13
- it was very difficult to sleep , strong urges for self gratification kept me tossing in bed for 2 hrs.
- felt it was the strongest temptation I had few months, Didnt act on those.
- Early morning had erotic dreams and had dams of semen tank explode to find my boxers drenched with it - FIRST NIGHT FALL after couple of months.
- I CONSIDER IT A 1ST MILESTONE IN MY JOURNEY.
- BUT NO ERECTIONS - just expulsion of semen , so its long journey ahead.
-NO MW, LIBIDO - INCREASING.
 
Y

yogi

Active Member
Horny dreams/ wet dreams are things beyond your control and are part of recovery. In fact they are part of normal life.
Congratulations on day 13!
 
A

AJM

Active Member
Yes yes absolutely. I never have horny dreams when im PMOing,
Wet dreams are positive milestone for me...
 
A

AJM

Active Member
Day 15,
- Victory
- lately I am sleeping more than usual, almost 9-10 hrs, used to be 6-7 hrs while PMO ing.
- But no depressive thoughts or low mood.
- Not MW, no Strong Urges.
 
Y

yogi

Active Member
Congratulations on day 15!

Sleeping more than usual will happen for a few days, part of reboot.
Morning wood will come at its own sweet time. Clarity of thoughts and lessening anxiety means you are on the right path.

Stay strong!
 
O

Orbiter

Well-Known Member
Ajinkya said:
Day 15,
- Victory
- lately I am sleeping more than usual, almost 9-10 hrs, used to be 6-7 hrs while PMO ing.
- But no depressive thoughts or low mood.
- Not MW, no Strong Urges.
Click to expand...
Sounds all positive to me. Rest as much as you need to, you may need more hours during this period particularly.

Keep up the great work!
 
A

AJM

Active Member
Evening of day 16
- I am having nagging headache (withdrawal) since morning.
- Its raining heavily outside and I am sulking with mixed emotions inside me.
- Teary eyes and heavy heart - reflecting back on all harm I induced on myself via porn.
- some days are really difficult
- Breakdown- ish phase of withdrawal for me I guess, never had such emotional turmoil in previous streaks

KEEPING FAITH ALIVE !!!!
 
A

AJM

Active Member
Day 16,
- Victory
- Today had a emotional melt down after 4-5 years,
- Emotional numbness is dissolving too - A benefit of rebooting I was not aware of.
- Not MW, no Urges - into Flatline .
 
O

Orbiter

Well-Known Member
Sounds like a difficult but important period of healing & growth you are currently experiencing. Stay strong and make sure to lean on this forum & journal as much as you need for support. We're all in the same boat here.

Keeping the great work, wishing you well.
 
E

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
Ajinkya, keep going, man! The discomfort comes with the territory. Nobody escapes porn addiction easily. But this is the biggest sign that the brain is actually changing.
 
4

46and2

Active Member
Emotional numbness is dissolving; that's awesome but I'm sure quite tough to deal with after five years! Stay strong brother; it sounds like you've got the best convictions to keep on with your journey. We're here for you!
 
A

AJM

Active Member
Hey fellow rebooters ,
Yogi, Escape, Orbiter & Neil
Thanks for those words of encouragement and support.
Yes yesterdays melt down was a painful but essential, why do I say so ??
- helped me reconnect to my true self and.
- helped me realize how porn had imprisoned me from my very purpose of life (to live life to its fullest)
- Has strengthened my belief that sharing vulnerabilities make you stronger
 
A

AJM

Active Member
Day 17,
Victory
Flatline continues
I am realizing that as much as I had this emotional numbness I also have Physical numbness due to excessive porn.
will spend next few days educating myself on this.
 
4

46and2

Active Member
Reading your posts is very encouraging. It's feels like you're really putting some solid work into your recovery and thought patterns. Fantastic buddy; I'm all the way rooting for you!
 
A

AJM

Active Member
46and2 said:
Reading your posts is very encouraging. It's feels like you're really putting some solid work into your recovery and thought patterns. Fantastic buddy; I'm all the way rooting for you!
Click to expand...
Ohhhh, I am flattered.
I just think it is time and so things are falling in place...
 
Y

yogi

Active Member
Congratulations on day 17!
Keep up the good work.
Your perseverance will see you through the flatline.

Hang in there buddy!
 
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