Does no pmo affect relationships and feelings negatively?

H

hello

Member
Hi. I have a serious question. I have not been pmoing for almost 2 weeks, with the exception of once where I did watch and masturbate but I did not orgasm, rather I just stopped and continued my reboot.

Now I was (seriously) talking to a girl for like 5 days now and I enjoyed it. But now, I feel scared, uncertain, and unsure if I like this girl or not. I am not comfortable with her telling me her feelings. I am not comfortable with her looking into my eyes.

My question is that is this a withdrawal symptom? I feel like I do not know my feelings. I'm lost. Does anyone have any experience with these things?
 
R

RuntoSpirit

Active Member
You could be experiencing withdrawl symptoms or this could be simply the way porn has been affecting you all along and you haven't noticed it.  Either way, keep going.  You've committed to the reboot challenge so press through and get the full benefits coming to you.
It may be helpful to read through some of the success stories to give you motivation to hang in there.  WE are rooting for you.
 
H

hello

Member
You think so? Maybe it is a withdrawal symptom. I am not sure. But I hope I will get better. But did you hear of this happening to anyone else?
 
offaxis

offaxis

Active Member
You are very very early days in the process of cleaning porn our from your brain man. Relax into it.

Things take a long time to change permanently. Many months, maybe even years.

What I found after stopping porn was that it was a rollercoaster journey to begin with. I was using porn to suppress and regulate negative emotions. Things which are natural and normal but that I hadn't found proper ways of handling. If you're not comfortable with this woman telling you personal things then say so (tactfully). Fundamentally you're not comfortable. Be honest to yourself and respect your own feelings. Maybe you feel if you do then you are going to turn her down. Or are turning down sex even. But what's so great about sex anyway? And particularly what's so great about crap sex where she is more into it than you? Why settle for the scraps or what someone else wants above what you want. These things have to be equal.

Maybe it's the same with you and this woman. You have some anxiousness or feel reserved. Before with porn, you could sweep that all away. Now you have to face it.

So, yes, sometimes things can and will be worse before they get better.

It is The Matrix - red or blue pill you choose. Reality can be reached shit sometimes but it is all real and 100% you. Porn is staying in La La Land and pretending nothing bad exists.

Keep on being the hero in your life for yourself.
 
H

hello

Member
I see what you are saying. But it is like i do not know what i want. I mean, i dont want to waste her time if i am not into her. I am confused. I dont want to hurt her feelings. I dont know what to do.

I am not sure if what i am feeling is from porn or not. Maybe it is. Maybe it is not. But its hard. I want to keep on going with no pmo. But i am afraid.

 
offaxis

offaxis

Active Member
There is no law that says you must know what you want all the time. Don't worry about wasting her time either. Worry about wasting yours.

What hurts her feelings more: being direct, open and honest with her or concealing your thoughts while she feels you being uneasy or confused around her, getting mixed messages?

I know you like her and have feelings for her but often when we try to keep the truth and our honest feelings from people to not hurt them, it ends up hurting them more in the long run. Sometimes the honest answer is, "I don't know" and you can then talk about how to handle it. It's hard because there's a lot of emotion though. Tell her the good things you like and enjoy with her and need from her, and agree to work on the rest, what she needs and see where it goes. This would be my take but you are not me. Maybe you will be surprised at her reaction. Only you can decide and know the situation fully. There is always risk down any path. But don't over think it. Do what feels right in your heart.

You seem to feel confused and unsure of things. Whether that's just with this woman or your life in general, only you can answer. There's nothing wrong with going slowly and taking things one day at a time. Be kind to yourself while you work this out. There is no pressure, only that you put on yourself.

I think it can be natural to feel disorientated coming off porn. Your usual way wurh porn of zoning out and switching these thoughts and feelings off has gone.

It is definitely hard. But you are making a great positive change in your life to face these problems directly and learn. That takes a lot of courage. Stay strong.

 
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