Lack of motivation. Help me

[Brain]

It's been a two years that i started nofap, and that period i kept relapsing, repeating withdrawal symptoms, addiction symptoms...

So i'm in trouble with lack of motivation. I only get back to my work when i feel like got normal dopamine back.
In other times I feel like i don't wanna do anything. I just watch TV.. feeling mood swings..
I heard meditation is good for dopamine but i also need dopamine first, to meditation. I mean it's hard to focus. really hard.

My question is, is there any more tips to get my motivation back? Should i just stick it out?

 

[JG2690]

Hey bro Ive been there. Ive been really trying to quit for over a year now but I haven't managed it. It really sucks, But I keep telling myself as long I keep trying that's what's important. I think even the people who haven't fully quit but have managed to reduce their PMO to half or even less should take it as a great sign and it's something to be happy about. We can't punish ourselves for relapsing, we just learn and get stronger by it. I think the motivation comes within, you dig down and ask yourself is this the person you want to be for your whole life? A guy who laid in bed, sad and watched porn to relieve his depression just to get sad 5 minutes later and realized that the whole porn thing is not really fulfilling? or do you want to be remembered as a Man who battled his inner demons and beat them and is happier because of it? at the end of the day bro, it's your story to write. You could be the hero or the loser, you choose.

 

[fyg]

Hi Brain Smoke,

Meditation does help with feeling generally healthier and more positive about ones self. Do you exercise? I tell you, exercise, running, gym, swimming etc... whatever works for you; starts to have a cumulative effect. I'd recommend healthy eating too (again, I'm not sure of your dietary habbits  : ) . Try and cut down on sugar and sweet stuff (dopamine!).

With meditation, you could try concentrating on the breath. Feeling the air coming in and out of your nostrils. Kelly McGonigal in her book The Willpower Instinct recommends saying/thinking inhale, exhale to yourself to keep you centred/focused. Also... The mind will naturally wander during meditation. So, just allow yourself to come back to the breath, without beating yourself up. That only creates more turbulence. Anyway... I'm going on now. Ha ha, but just offering opinion on your points.

I liked JG's advice and also, with motivation, sometimes you have to dig yourself out of that hole. The guys on here will help you also, but sometimes you gotta help yourself. Like the last few days (I haven't taken my own advice!) been eating sugary crap and have been seriously down for various reasons. Tonight, I forced myself to cook some fresh veg and hummus, plus one sweet thing (not a packet of cookies and 3 icecreams like last night!). Tomorrow I will feel better for it, I know it. Cumulative effect, bro - not that you even asked me for dietary advice, mind

Anyways... that my two ten! penneth ha ha... cheers man!

 

[Hablablos]

Hello Brain smoke,

I'd like to ask you a few questions:

Why do want to recover from addiction? I know it sounds a silly question, but reason for that is simple. Your mind will play many tricks on you as you already know, you need to know exactly why are you doing this. And the best thing you can do is to write these reasons somewhere to have them as a reminder.

Who do you want to become as a person? If is too general for you, then start with who you don't want to become?

What hobbies or activities do you or need to do in order to become that person?

You will beat this, I am sure of that. Just don't give up!

 

[fapfreezone]

I've been trying to reboot for 18 months now and it is hard when you're struggling for so long. My advice would be to stay positive, believe you can quit and keep learning. If you always reading a new book or article on quitting and analysing triggers that made you relapse, you're always getting closer and closer to fully quitting. If you track your progress by looking at the streaks you do get, you will see regular progress as long as you keep learning and trying. This is what will keep you motivated. Here are some book suggestions:

YourBrainOnPorn by Gary Wilson
The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal
Willpower by Roy Baumeister
Wack by Noah Church
The porn Trap by Wendy Maltz
Understanding and Treating Sex Addiction: A Comprehensive Guide for People who Struggle and those who want to help them, Paula Hall

If you ever get really stuck for new ways to improve, seek professional help.

Good luck with your reboot,