Hey everyone. Starting an official reboot here after a lot of half-assed efforts over the past year or so.
It was almost two years ago when I first ran into a book called No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover, which I highly, highly recommend. It's all about learning to take charge of your life, set boundaries, ask for what you want, and let go of things you can't control. One of the recommendations Glover makes in the book is to cut out porn entirely and cut masturbation down to once a week or so. He's since amended that on his website to recommend cutting PMO entirely.
When I first read this I felt very daunted, as I have been masturbating consistently since age 12 and viewing porn since age 22. I'm 28 now. Growing up in a very religious house, I always felt intense guilt for masturbating. I think that as a result, I came to view horniness as a problem that needed to be solved and masturbation as the solution. Pretty sure this is the core of my PMO addiction, which is why I titled my journal what I did--to remind me that feeling horny is natural, enjoyable, and life-affirming.
Over the past two years I've experimented with quitting PMO to varying degrees. I have made it 30 days or so without looking at porn, but only 7 without MO, and during that time I was edging constantly. I couldn't put my dick down to save my life. It is VERY hard for me not to masturbate. Since I started late on porn, it's not as hard for me to quit that, but since masturbation was programmed into me as both antidote to and cause of feelings of guilt and shame, that's my real addiction and i need to buck it.
I lost my virginity when I was 23 and I've had performance issues off and on since then. The first time, I had stage fright. The next time, I was fine. The time after that, I ejaculated prematurely. After that I had a series of two relationships where I had no issues, even though I was intermittently using porn. I've had sex with three girls since then, and I could get it up for the first one easily enough (even though, again, I was using porn when I was alone), but the last two I had ED with. I'm at the point now where I am tired of casual sex and want a real relationship, sick of my ED issues, sick of feeling sluggish, depressed, and bored with life. There's also this girl I want to be my girlfriend, and although I plan to take it slow with her, when the time comes I want to really fuck her like a champ.
I remember when I was a teenager, when I was still trying not to masturbate and didn't even know what a vagina looked like, I would get hard at the slightest touch from a woman. I could get hard just from lying in my bed and thinking about kissing. Every time I masturbated, it was after days of nofap and every orgasm felt like heaven. I actually gave up masturbation for a year when I was 15 and during that time I was deeply in love with a girl two classes above me. I got depressed when she graduated and relapsed, and have just gone downhill since.
With this new girl in my life I really want to bring back the way I felt when I was a teenager, the way guys on here talk about feeling after 2 or 3 months of nofap. And of course I want to feel that way whether I end up with her or not.
So here we go. Day 1. July 7, 2014. My goal is sex with this girl no later than November and nofap until then. And if she doesn't work out, fuck it, nofap for 90 days and then we'll take it from there. And help me out cuz withdrawal will be kicking my ASS this week.
It was almost two years ago when I first ran into a book called No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover, which I highly, highly recommend. It's all about learning to take charge of your life, set boundaries, ask for what you want, and let go of things you can't control. One of the recommendations Glover makes in the book is to cut out porn entirely and cut masturbation down to once a week or so. He's since amended that on his website to recommend cutting PMO entirely.
When I first read this I felt very daunted, as I have been masturbating consistently since age 12 and viewing porn since age 22. I'm 28 now. Growing up in a very religious house, I always felt intense guilt for masturbating. I think that as a result, I came to view horniness as a problem that needed to be solved and masturbation as the solution. Pretty sure this is the core of my PMO addiction, which is why I titled my journal what I did--to remind me that feeling horny is natural, enjoyable, and life-affirming.
Over the past two years I've experimented with quitting PMO to varying degrees. I have made it 30 days or so without looking at porn, but only 7 without MO, and during that time I was edging constantly. I couldn't put my dick down to save my life. It is VERY hard for me not to masturbate. Since I started late on porn, it's not as hard for me to quit that, but since masturbation was programmed into me as both antidote to and cause of feelings of guilt and shame, that's my real addiction and i need to buck it.
I lost my virginity when I was 23 and I've had performance issues off and on since then. The first time, I had stage fright. The next time, I was fine. The time after that, I ejaculated prematurely. After that I had a series of two relationships where I had no issues, even though I was intermittently using porn. I've had sex with three girls since then, and I could get it up for the first one easily enough (even though, again, I was using porn when I was alone), but the last two I had ED with. I'm at the point now where I am tired of casual sex and want a real relationship, sick of my ED issues, sick of feeling sluggish, depressed, and bored with life. There's also this girl I want to be my girlfriend, and although I plan to take it slow with her, when the time comes I want to really fuck her like a champ.
I remember when I was a teenager, when I was still trying not to masturbate and didn't even know what a vagina looked like, I would get hard at the slightest touch from a woman. I could get hard just from lying in my bed and thinking about kissing. Every time I masturbated, it was after days of nofap and every orgasm felt like heaven. I actually gave up masturbation for a year when I was 15 and during that time I was deeply in love with a girl two classes above me. I got depressed when she graduated and relapsed, and have just gone downhill since.
With this new girl in my life I really want to bring back the way I felt when I was a teenager, the way guys on here talk about feeling after 2 or 3 months of nofap. And of course I want to feel that way whether I end up with her or not.
So here we go. Day 1. July 7, 2014. My goal is sex with this girl no later than November and nofap until then. And if she doesn't work out, fuck it, nofap for 90 days and then we'll take it from there. And help me out cuz withdrawal will be kicking my ASS this week.
