Sing4him
Member
What up ya'll!
To start my story off, I began watching porn when I was 13, jerking off when I was 12. Watched every genre of porn there was out there, some I didn't really understand why the person would want to go through that... but anyway, it was bad. We had a computer out in the open in one room of the house and I would even watch porn there. Through the years I continued to watch porn, jack off twice maybe three times a day, shower/bed, the usual spots. Then I started to jerk off in public restroom, in stalls. It got so bad, I got an android phone, had had an iphone and had watched porn on it. I literally went back to an iphone just so I could watch porn and hopefully not get viruses! Bad bad bad! At 19, I found a forum that allowed members to talk about sex, jerking off, the chicks they had been with, and was on this forum for maybe 5 or 7 years. Members would also post pics and videos. I did also, mainly pics... took em down though really fast! There was also a chat feature so I would get on there and just turn into this filthy, vile, sex freak. I did delete my account about a year or two ago, thank goodness! During this I started chatting on skype, camming on skype, jerking off on skype, with members from this forum I would meet in the chat room. Felt okay while doing so, but afterwards I felt INTENSE GUILT! I knew it was wrong, but I guess you could equate it to the modern age duo/circle jerk some dudes do in college or high school. Deleted skype (wish you could delete accounts, but you cant!) as well. I would also jerk sometimes in the showers at the gym.
When I was 21, I found out about prostate massage, and a toy, called the aneros. Bought one, started to use it, felt I couldn't enjoy using it, so tossed it. Few yrs later (24 yrs old?), I bought a different model. Have been using it ever since. Through all of this was going to church, and really started feeling convicted (any fellow believers out there!? *fist bump*). I kept doing what I was doing, n yet feeling empty. Hadn't really been in any relationships with women, I'm a virgin. Boners don't happen that much, unless I'm jerking off. I had once tried to stop jerking and succeeded for a few months, but upon completing a certain number of days i had set, went back to my old ways. I've started another round of no jerking or porn, and have been 3 weeks (18 days specifically) porn n jerking free. From the time I was maybe 19 or 20 I also started sleeping naked, feels comfortable, but yeah, can see how It can lead to giving in.
Would really like to get to know some other members, have an accountability partner. I have felt really... disconnected, and really want to be free, have a relationship with a woman (flesh and blood), get married, have some kids. Be the man and God wants me to be, because I do love God, and want to do things right by Him.
Look forward to getting into this, becoming part of this movement, and beating porn and masturbation!
God bless you guys.
To start my story off, I began watching porn when I was 13, jerking off when I was 12. Watched every genre of porn there was out there, some I didn't really understand why the person would want to go through that... but anyway, it was bad. We had a computer out in the open in one room of the house and I would even watch porn there. Through the years I continued to watch porn, jack off twice maybe three times a day, shower/bed, the usual spots. Then I started to jerk off in public restroom, in stalls. It got so bad, I got an android phone, had had an iphone and had watched porn on it. I literally went back to an iphone just so I could watch porn and hopefully not get viruses! Bad bad bad! At 19, I found a forum that allowed members to talk about sex, jerking off, the chicks they had been with, and was on this forum for maybe 5 or 7 years. Members would also post pics and videos. I did also, mainly pics... took em down though really fast! There was also a chat feature so I would get on there and just turn into this filthy, vile, sex freak. I did delete my account about a year or two ago, thank goodness! During this I started chatting on skype, camming on skype, jerking off on skype, with members from this forum I would meet in the chat room. Felt okay while doing so, but afterwards I felt INTENSE GUILT! I knew it was wrong, but I guess you could equate it to the modern age duo/circle jerk some dudes do in college or high school. Deleted skype (wish you could delete accounts, but you cant!) as well. I would also jerk sometimes in the showers at the gym.
When I was 21, I found out about prostate massage, and a toy, called the aneros. Bought one, started to use it, felt I couldn't enjoy using it, so tossed it. Few yrs later (24 yrs old?), I bought a different model. Have been using it ever since. Through all of this was going to church, and really started feeling convicted (any fellow believers out there!? *fist bump*). I kept doing what I was doing, n yet feeling empty. Hadn't really been in any relationships with women, I'm a virgin. Boners don't happen that much, unless I'm jerking off. I had once tried to stop jerking and succeeded for a few months, but upon completing a certain number of days i had set, went back to my old ways. I've started another round of no jerking or porn, and have been 3 weeks (18 days specifically) porn n jerking free. From the time I was maybe 19 or 20 I also started sleeping naked, feels comfortable, but yeah, can see how It can lead to giving in.
Would really like to get to know some other members, have an accountability partner. I have felt really... disconnected, and really want to be free, have a relationship with a woman (flesh and blood), get married, have some kids. Be the man and God wants me to be, because I do love God, and want to do things right by Him.
Look forward to getting into this, becoming part of this movement, and beating porn and masturbation!
God bless you guys.
