19 - Turning 19 today. Returning to noPmo
- Thread starter LoneWolf
- Start date
hawkey_undercover
New Member
same here bro, good luck 
Hay man I saw your post and couldn't help but be reminded of myself. I said the exact same thing when I turned 19, but was not able to keep that promise to myself. I'm not by any means saying this to intimidate you or scare you away from this great opportunity. However, what I am saying is, don't do this just because you're turning 19. Do it for yourself because you need it! Something that really helped me stay on track so far is watching nofap videos and posting on here daily. I would highly recommend watch Anthony Decide on YouTube, he's very knowledgeable and very interesting. Good luck man, and if you need any help getting back on the horse, feel free to message me!
LoneWolf
Member
My longest streak was 30 days. I reached that streak only one time and yet my life changed considerable, It'll only get better.
Before this journey: projects and ideas in mind, no will to do that, spend the entire day on computer doing nothing, watching movies, facebook, tv shows, playing games. I even reached a point of studying time management (only started, never finished, btw) in order to watch more things and play more things. Never had any motivation for the future or keep doing my things, felt stressed all the time and worthless. A parasite in my family. Depression was my best friend. Everything was sad and grey.
When I started a project I would stop it the day after.
After starting this journey: could enter in a uni, could get the courage to leave uni to focus on my projects, actually worked to the end on my projects, cried when I saw my beautiful projects coming alive, starting to make contacts of people interested in my work, get to work the entire day because I freaking love it, leaved every form of entertainment, started to feel more confident, started to talk with my family about myself (thing that I never had courage to do), started to lose shyness and anxiety (2 big monsters that had me my entire life and take my life away till now, I've spend so many years studying methods and more methods to overcome it but only was able to start to overcome it with nofap), took courage to start to cook for myself (had desire but not courage, too shy), took courage to become vegetarian (had desire but not courage), took courage to buy a punching bag and started to use it (had desire but not courage), took courage to buy a basket hoop and use it (had desire but not courage), took courage to build a garden to plant my own food, took courage to take care of a chicken, started to care about my pets and take care and play with them, started to connect more with my beloved grandmother, got courage to meditate. The things around me are getting a glow, a beautifulness.
And things are getting better more and more everyday I stay without PMO.
So, thank you all.
Before this journey: projects and ideas in mind, no will to do that, spend the entire day on computer doing nothing, watching movies, facebook, tv shows, playing games. I even reached a point of studying time management (only started, never finished, btw) in order to watch more things and play more things. Never had any motivation for the future or keep doing my things, felt stressed all the time and worthless. A parasite in my family. Depression was my best friend. Everything was sad and grey.
When I started a project I would stop it the day after.
After starting this journey: could enter in a uni, could get the courage to leave uni to focus on my projects, actually worked to the end on my projects, cried when I saw my beautiful projects coming alive, starting to make contacts of people interested in my work, get to work the entire day because I freaking love it, leaved every form of entertainment, started to feel more confident, started to talk with my family about myself (thing that I never had courage to do), started to lose shyness and anxiety (2 big monsters that had me my entire life and take my life away till now, I've spend so many years studying methods and more methods to overcome it but only was able to start to overcome it with nofap), took courage to start to cook for myself (had desire but not courage, too shy), took courage to become vegetarian (had desire but not courage), took courage to buy a punching bag and started to use it (had desire but not courage), took courage to buy a basket hoop and use it (had desire but not courage), took courage to build a garden to plant my own food, took courage to take care of a chicken, started to care about my pets and take care and play with them, started to connect more with my beloved grandmother, got courage to meditate. The things around me are getting a glow, a beautifulness.
And things are getting better more and more everyday I stay without PMO.
So, thank you all.
Israel Brightsky
Member
Hey LoneWolf,
It's so encouraging to see that you're breaking free from this addiction. I'm 19 too and reading what you've been able to do after starting this is really inspiring. Can't wait to read more about the amazing things you're doing!
Best regards,
Israel
It's so encouraging to see that you're breaking free from this addiction. I'm 19 too and reading what you've been able to do after starting this is really inspiring. Can't wait to read more about the amazing things you're doing!
Best regards,
Israel
LoneWolf
Member
Relapsed yesterday and today but found something that'll lead me to a huge improvement:
So. I was doing a deep analysis of my psychological self with the materials that I'll leave on the end of this post and found the root of my addiction and shyness.
In order to find it I had to go way back in time when I was a little boy. Ever since I was born I didn't had much attention from my family (mostly my dad who only looked and talked to me to repress my self), they gave more attention to my little brother than to me, so in trying to find answer for that I thought that the problem was me. Adding the repress of my father, when I expressed myself, with the false belief that my self sucked and this was why everybody supposed hated me I've hidden my true identity and covered with shame. Every time that I tried to express myself I felt a huge shame that led me in not doing more things, at my firsts years at school I didn't talked to anyone, neither the teacher, I was completely voiceless and suffered much bully from my teachers and colleagues because they thought that I was a puss* for not talking which lead me to isolation and false belief that I was a piece of sh*t and worthless and this was part of my life till high school, in high school I talked for the first time with people outside my family but I already had the addiction at this time. My addiction started at my final years of school (not high school, before high school, don't know what is called in English) where I always got home and masturbated for some pictures at the internet, this was the only time that I had some feeling in my everyday life. I felt in a cycle and kept repressing myself because of porn.
TL;DR:
I was left alone and hadn't attention from my family
Thought that I was the problem and was my fault
Hide my personality in shame
Always had shame and false beliefs of myself (always thought that I was a annoying for everyone and no one would be a friend of an idiot)
Used this drug to be in love with and aliviate my hidden self
What have led me to discovering this was the content that the user decisionmadetoday on reddit. Mostly this book: http://www.creativegrowth.com/bradshaw_shame%201.pdf
Here's the post of decisionmadetoday that are changing my life:
I'm trying to put together top resources on the cause of PMO compulsion. I post the below often (especially when there is clear addiction sited, or fatal errors of ignorance...such as in this thread).
Add to the below "Creating Love" by John Bradshaw on youtube. Gold. You'll see your PMO addiction like an x-ray.
Bonding is pretty central to our entire being, and superstimulouses wire up to that hole. Here's a five minute video on it (which doesn't say anything about where addiction comes from, but it does show how it's wired): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jkOl7QIXxlQ
Here's a great video on why addiction is shame: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sA6lzF8G-zY
Here's a fantastic talk on how attachment trauma sets up addiction (although this talk is useless if you don't understand how family dynamics produce bonding screw up...the talk never even mentions it..but at least you can know why guys can't stop): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=x9cvEa5qFQc
Here's an amazing talk on the SOCIAL DYNAMIC of an addiction (codependency): (First of three parts)https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HL-J2H3Jmes
This ten part series on your inner child strikes at the heart of why PMO compulsion would be so strong. It's a powerful program that was shown on PBS over 10 weeks: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wSS2BUaPnbs
Here's a great slideshare presentation which will show you how your parents and family are involved in your PMO compulsion: https://www.slideshare.net/mobile/Counselcare/the-bowen-family-systems-theory
So. I was doing a deep analysis of my psychological self with the materials that I'll leave on the end of this post and found the root of my addiction and shyness.
In order to find it I had to go way back in time when I was a little boy. Ever since I was born I didn't had much attention from my family (mostly my dad who only looked and talked to me to repress my self), they gave more attention to my little brother than to me, so in trying to find answer for that I thought that the problem was me. Adding the repress of my father, when I expressed myself, with the false belief that my self sucked and this was why everybody supposed hated me I've hidden my true identity and covered with shame. Every time that I tried to express myself I felt a huge shame that led me in not doing more things, at my firsts years at school I didn't talked to anyone, neither the teacher, I was completely voiceless and suffered much bully from my teachers and colleagues because they thought that I was a puss* for not talking which lead me to isolation and false belief that I was a piece of sh*t and worthless and this was part of my life till high school, in high school I talked for the first time with people outside my family but I already had the addiction at this time. My addiction started at my final years of school (not high school, before high school, don't know what is called in English) where I always got home and masturbated for some pictures at the internet, this was the only time that I had some feeling in my everyday life. I felt in a cycle and kept repressing myself because of porn.
TL;DR:
I was left alone and hadn't attention from my family
Thought that I was the problem and was my fault
Hide my personality in shame
Always had shame and false beliefs of myself (always thought that I was a annoying for everyone and no one would be a friend of an idiot)
Used this drug to be in love with and aliviate my hidden self
What have led me to discovering this was the content that the user decisionmadetoday on reddit. Mostly this book: http://www.creativegrowth.com/bradshaw_shame%201.pdf
Here's the post of decisionmadetoday that are changing my life:
I'm trying to put together top resources on the cause of PMO compulsion. I post the below often (especially when there is clear addiction sited, or fatal errors of ignorance...such as in this thread).
Add to the below "Creating Love" by John Bradshaw on youtube. Gold. You'll see your PMO addiction like an x-ray.
Bonding is pretty central to our entire being, and superstimulouses wire up to that hole. Here's a five minute video on it (which doesn't say anything about where addiction comes from, but it does show how it's wired): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jkOl7QIXxlQ
Here's a great video on why addiction is shame: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sA6lzF8G-zY
Here's a fantastic talk on how attachment trauma sets up addiction (although this talk is useless if you don't understand how family dynamics produce bonding screw up...the talk never even mentions it..but at least you can know why guys can't stop): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=x9cvEa5qFQc
Here's an amazing talk on the SOCIAL DYNAMIC of an addiction (codependency): (First of three parts)https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HL-J2H3Jmes
This ten part series on your inner child strikes at the heart of why PMO compulsion would be so strong. It's a powerful program that was shown on PBS over 10 weeks: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wSS2BUaPnbs
Here's a great slideshare presentation which will show you how your parents and family are involved in your PMO compulsion: https://www.slideshare.net/mobile/Counselcare/the-bowen-family-systems-theory