Gay male trying to recover

[laalee]

Hi i am a gay male and trying the suggestion for 30 days.  Only thing is that it says no porn but to be with a real person
but if i was to be with a real person there is always porn in the backround?????

 

[willtochange]

Welcome and best of luck on your reboot, is there anyway that you could have him turn it off?

 

[laalee]

No like i said where ever i go and try and meet a real person for sex there is always porn

 

[BlueSun]

I dunno buddy, it sounds like thin ice.  Theres the fantasy parts, the audio, I dont know how youd navigate it and not get triggered or exposed.  Id almost say itd be a recipe for certain relapse.  Have you considered hard mode for a while?

 

[laalee]

what does this mean? haed mode

 

[BlueSun]

It means I have a terrible relationship with my autocorrect.

I meant hard mode. Complete abstinence.  Only reason I mention it is that I've pissed around in and out of relapses trying to tow the line and in the end a half year later, I'm back at step one, day 9 going into hard mode. It seems to yield the best results despite It's daunting nature

 

[malando]

No like i said where ever i go and try and meet a real person for sex there is always porn

Go somewhere else? Seriously, you have a say in where and under what conditions you have sex! I'm sure you could find somebody who wants to have some fun without porn playing in the background. If I'm wrong, then this world is infinitely more fucked up than I ever thought and the entire world is a bunch of porn-addicts!

 

[laalee]

Being a gay male we have places to hook up i stumbled on this when i was 16 after 5 years off being sexually abused by an older male cousin, i thought by doing these gay beats that i would find love and affection but it never happened. As i got older and found gay clubs i would yet again be used by men for sexual pleasure, i always thought something was wrong with me so got into porn porn porn then acting this out and becoming like the men i met when i was younger.  I have had relationships that ended up in me still using porn and anonymous sex, now in recovery i am trying to go back to basics and use dating sites but they are not working for me. Most of the gay scene is about porn hooking up for sex etc etc

I am abstinent and it really hurts